TOXIC
by Finn21
Summary: AU. Haley, Brooke, and Peyton are roommates going to the local university. When her old enemy, Nathan Scott, and his group of rich friends return for winter break, Haley must come to terms with her unforgotten feelings. NH. Now Complete!
1. Cosmic Girls

Disclaimer: WB owns all. I own nothing. Good times. Good times.

Ok everyone, this is an AU, set probably 4 or so years in future. Everything else should be self-explanatory. Got questions? Feel free to ask. Otherwise, please read on and enjoy!

TOXIC

Chapter 1

Cosmic Girls

**"So . . .  what do you think?"**

It seemed like a simple enough question in and of itself, but Haley James still wasn't quite sure. She once again stared at the red slip of material covering her roommates body and cringed. It was Brooke's third date this week, and with yet another glamorous Frat Boy. The Delta Sigma Phi house this time around, and a blonde curly headed football player by the name of Kip.

Honestly, Haley didn't know whether to applaud her friend for her ability to attract men so easily, or cry at her own inability to do the same. It was one of those things in life that you were either very good at, or....not. And Haley and Brooke fell on opposite ends of the spectrum.

Here they were starting their second semester of their Junior year at Bayview State, and Haley still hadn't managed to meet Mr. Right. Or anyone coming even close. Maybe she set her standards too high? Maybe she was too picky? Watching her friend spin in front of her for the fourth time, Haley began to wander if the problem was that maybe she was just too damn uptight.

"So you like," Brooke Davis asked, coming to a stop, and then smoothing the silky fabric of her dress, so that it lay in all the right places on her body.

Haley contemplated her for a second more, before nodding from where she sat on her bed. "Actually I do," she replied.

"Really," Brooke beamed, "because when I brought it home earlier, you gave me this look like I'd pulled a fucking vibrator out of the bag or something."

"It looked smaller when you showed it to me the first time, skank. Besides I know you keep the sex toys in your bottom drawer," Haley chuckled, sticking her tongue out at the other girl jokingly.

"I knew it! You play with them when I'm not around don't you," she hollered, her eyes wide with a comical smile, as she continued to check herself out in the mirror on Haley's bathroom door.

"Eww, no you pervert. I do however, hear mysterious buzzing coming from down the hall and assume. Because honestly even you can't use your electric toothbrush that often and at that late of night. Although, the mind boggles with all the possibilities."

Brooke feigned a shock expression, letting it fall into a naughty smile."Hey a girl's got needs ya know, and if Frat Boy #27 is too drunk to deliver, then out comes my trusty little friend," Brooke gave Haley another unabashed look, showing her just how confident she was. Haley wished she could be more like that sometimes. Not feel ashamed of things like vibrators or multiple sex partners, or short red dresses that covered just enough to make guys salivate over you. She shook her insecurities away for now.

"Back to the topic at hand, I do like it. The red's definitely working," she finally finished.

"Well I'm glad you approve. Because the lord knows my world would come to a crashing halt if Haley Anne James didn't like my clothes," Brooke through out sarcastically, going to pick her purse up from on Haley's desk.

"Damn Straight," she nodded with a grin.

Both girls gave each other a serious glare before breaking out into giggles, and then walking into the living room of their apartment. Just as the missing link of their circle came through the front door, slamming her bag down on the kitchen table with a angry huff.

"People suck," Peyton Sawyer stated through gritted teeth, a scowl on her face.

"Another fun day in the gallows," Brooke teased, giving her a pat on the shoulder, and then heading to the refrigerator for a drink of water.

Peyton slumped down defeatedly into a nearby chair and rubbed at her tired eyes. "I can't go back there guys, it's driving me insane. And not the funny looney kind. No, the I wanna go on a murdering-rampage-kill-everyone-on-sight kind of insane."

"Oh it can't be that bad Peyton" Haley offered, shifting her weight onto her other leg so that she was standing at an angle.

"You weren't there tonight," the blonde muttered, sucking in a breath of air, exhaling it long and slow, in hopes of relaxing herself.

"What happened? A buncha drunk guys try to feel you up? Oh wait that's every night," Brooke taunted.

Peyton rolled her eyes. "No-- I mean yes that happened, but that's not why I'm in my current state of homicidal fury. I get in there around six to open right, and the first thing I notice is that the only other waitress working is Sonya. And you know I hate Sonya, she's a stupid bimbo that never does anything but flirt and give guys her number."

"We've all had to deal with the stupidity that is Sonya," Brooke cut in, her and Haley sharing a knowing look.  

"I know, but that's not all," Peyton continued. "Not only do two different tables stiff me on tips, but Dominic doesn't manage to catch these two assholes fighting in the back, and when I try to calm them down one of 'em throws his drink at me, and the other pukes on my shoes. On my _fucking_ shoes! Can you  believe that?"

Both girls tired to stifle their urge to laugh and gave their friend sad pouts, understanding her anguish."I'm sorry babe, that bites," Brooke offered a sympathetic hug.

"Yeah it does," Haley agreed, grabbing both of them into one large giant group embrace, squeezing tightly until Peyton finally let out an exaserbated laugh.Then releasing and moving back to their own spots.

"You wanna know the worst part, Satan and his evil spawn weren't anywhere to be found either, so it's not like I could bitch at them for their shitty employer skills," she groaned, seemingly a little less wired after her rant.

Both Haley and Brooke knew who exactly who she was referring to: Simon and Dexter, the owners of Ecstacy, the club that currently employed all three girls. They hadn't intended on getting jobs at the local dance club in town when they first started at Bayview State, but with school loans, rent, food, and the fact that only one of them owned a car, jobs had become a necessity. And with the club being in walking distance of their gated apartment building, the choice had been a no brainer really. Peyton had started working their since she turned nineteen, Brooke close behind, and only a few months ago did Haley receive the sad call from her mother, that she could no longer help her with school, because she in fact had lost her own job.  So here they were, three full-time college students with full-time jobs. Life was a peach.

"Look on the bright side," Haley said, "winter break officially starts today. Five relaxing weeks of yummy homemade food, no homework, and best of all lots and lots of presents."

"Yeah, and five weeks of working my ass off to pay for the lots and lots of presents I'll be buying," Peyton retorted sullenly.

Brooke in the mean time glanced at the microwave clock, and noticed the time read 11:00 pm. Her date should be arriving any minute. She decided to check her make-up once more before he arrived, stepping from the room as the other two girls continued to talk.

"Ok that's it, I'm done coddling, if you want to be in a pissy mood all night, fine, I'll be in the other room," Haley moved to get up.

Peyton put her hand out to stop her from going, and flashed a cheesy grin. "Ok, ok, ok, I'll be better I promise. I'm done. No more whiney Peyton. I'm fun hangy out Peyton now, see," she declared, doing a silly little dance, that consisted of shaking her booty and flailing her arms.

"Alright cornball you're forgiven this time," the brunette tried for a stern face, letting a laugh spill out.

"So what have you got planned, and please tell me it has nothing to do with dark musty clubs or drunken barbarians," Peyton asked, following Haley over to the sofa.

"No and no," She replied pulling a couple videos off the their entertainment shelving unit. "Ok let's see, we've got...Heathers, Clueless, Sleepless in Seattle, Legends of the Fall, and Armageddon," She held the choices up for Peyton to see. "So basically we've got funny, we've got sad, we've got funny-sad, and we've got action. Pick your poison."

"Wow Hales, you really know how to show a girl a good time,"teased Brooke, coming out of her bedroom.

"Not all of us are quite the socail butterfly Brooke," Haley retorted, folding her arms in front of her, tilting her head to the side.

"You mean we're not all sluts, right," Peyton through in, a brazen smile spread over her face.

Brooke tried to look mildly offended, holding her arm up in defense, "Hey! At least I'm getting some action tonight. What are your plans?"

"Movie night, duh," Haley said flashing the movies in front of her, and waving them back and forth dramtically, before plopping them down on the coffee table beside her.

"Exactly my point. When's the last time you went girlfriend. On a date or out with us, or anyone else for that matter," questioned Brooke, with a knowing glare.

"I don't need a man to fulfill me, thank you very much."

"That's not what I mean. I'm talking about having fun. Letting go. Being wild and crazy and completely irresponsible like all college kids should be for at least one night. When's the last time you did that huh?"

Haley's mouth flew open, but when she couldn't think of a response, not a one, she clamped it shut again. Jutting her bottom lip out in a pout Haley gave sad eyes to her frieds. "Ok so I haven't exactly been Miss Popularity lately, whatever. I'm still fun. I'm bundles of fun. Huge heaping, mounding piles of fun, and you know it. And by the way why aren't you singling me out, Peyotn's staying home too."

"She went out last night," Brooke added.

"Whatever, I am fun damn it."

"We know you are, we just want to see you experience it more often Hales," Peyton added, giving her best friend a reassuring smile.

"Oooh I know," Brooke said gleefully, clapping her hands together excitedly, "how bout we all go see D.J. Sonic tomorrow at the club. Some girl in my psych class said he totally kick's ass."

"I can go, but I'll be there working," Haley lamented, disappoonted.

"You suck. Who the hell works on Saturdays anymore," Brooke declared.

"Apparently I do.  Blame Simon, it's not my fault....bitch," Haley through back at her with a challening smirk.

"Slut."

"Skank."

"Ho-bag."

"Hoochie."

"Whore."

"Penis...Lips!"

"WHAT," both Peyton and Haley uttered towards Brooke, while laughing.

"I was trying to be creative, shut-up," she giggeled, throwing a nearby dish towel at them.

In the background all three girls heard the faint sound of their doorbell ring. "That would be Kip," Brooke squealed.

"Oh joy," Haley said dryly, twirling her pointer finger up in the air.

"Be nice," Peyton told her, with a chuckle.

Brooke readjusted her dress once more, bringing the clining material up a little farther on her thighs, to show just a bit more skin. "See you in the morning girls," she waved as she went to the door.

"Good luck," Peyton yelled, giving Haley a goofy eye roll.

"Oh I won't be needing it," she winked, before disappearing into the hallway, and closing the door behind her.

A/N: Where's Nathan you ask? Why in the next chapter of course!! Reviews bring updates faster, I swear. So please give me feedback.


	2. Around the Bend

A/N: Thank to everyone for all your fabulous reviews!! And now on to chapter 2!!

TOXIC

Chapter 2

Around the Bend

**Eggs.** The smell, the crackling sound they make in a pan, the yellowy puffiness that sticks out at you offensively. It all sounded absolutely revolting to Brooke. In fact the entire concept of ever eating again in this millennia sounded like a decent plan to her at the moment. 

She could vaguely make out the noise of somebody in the kitchen making breakfast. The sounds of food being made, was what woke her from her naturally light sleeping pattern. However with the hangover she was now carrying, she wanted to pray a thousands prayers to God of she could just fall back asleep. And forget about her mind numbing stomach and headache.

Brooke tossed over and covered her face with a pillow and waited.

And waited.

And waited some more. Until she finally accepted the sad realization that sleep wasn't going to come.

Begrudgingly she rolled as slow as possible out of bed, threw on an old sweatshirt, went to the bathroom to brush her teeth, and then finally made it into the kitchen.

Haley noticing her friends' disheveled hair, and smeared eye make-up from the night before, when Brooke trudged to the refrigerator.

"Rough night," she asked with a smile.

"Rough morning, more like it," Brooke replied, grabbing a bottled water, and sinking into a nearby chair.

"Want some omelet, I made enough for two," Haley offered, picking her plate up, and wafting the smell in front of the brunette's face.

Brooke repressed the urge to gag and pushed it away sharply. "Do you want to see me puke all over this table?"

"Not particularly."

"Then keep you greasy ass food far away from my face," she grumbled, resting her head on one arm.

"Only if you promise to tell me all the dirty and debaucherous details of your date last night."

"In a nutshell, Frat Boy # 27 was a better kisser than Frat Boy #18, a little bit less entertaining than Frat Boy #13, and a lot less _smaller_ than Frat Boy #5. But all in all not a complete waste," she finished, taking a slow gulp from her water, before screwing the cap back on.

"Another one-nighter then," Haley asked, referring to her friends' usual routine of date 'em-do-'em-and-dump 'em.

"Aren't they all,"she grinned, with heavy lidded eyes.

Haley tried not to judge her friend on her promiscuity, but sometimes couldn't help herself. 

"Brooke you do realize you're just like a guy right?"

"So what? If I wanna go out and party, and get laid by pretty college boys, with no strings attached I can. Guys don't deserve to have all the fun ya know."

Haley sighed, and took another bite of her omelet. "I just worry about you I guess."

"Well don't," Brooke said firmly. "Worry about getting yourself some booty and pronto, girlfriend." Brooke snapped her fingers together quickly to emphasize her point.

The ring of their cordless telephone prevented Haley from responding to the insanity that was her roommate. Picking the phone off its cradle Haley pushed on the _on_ button.

"Hello."

"Umm Hi, is Haley James there," a distinctly male voice said from the other end of the receiver.

"This is her," she replied, giving Brooke curious look.

"Oh hi, um this is Brad Shiftly, I'm in your Organic Chemistry class with Professor McCain, remember?"

"Yeah I remember you. What's up Brad?"

Brooke's ears perked up at the name coming from Haley's lips, she turned to her, "Speaking of booty...."

Haley rolled her eyes, and Brooke tried to lean in to listen to her conversation. Haley swatting at  her to move away.

"Ok I will...It's not a problem...On Tuesday?...Sure...Ok...Bye Brad," Haley finished, clicking the phone off with an evident smile.

"And who may I ask was that," Brooke inquired, a little more a wake this time, a little more of her nosy self.

"Just a guy from my Chemistry class, he needs some help before the test, no big deal," Haley got up, taking her plate and glass and sticking them in the sink.

"Well ask him out," Brooke blurted to Haley.

"For what," asked Haley, sincerely curious.

"For what?! For a date dumbass, what else?"

"Uh I don't think so," she replied, cleaning up the rest of her mess.

"And ...why not," Brooke got up and followed her into the kitchen.

"Because I'm not a real pro with the whole dating thing, you know that. My two previous boyfriends ended with one dumping me for no apparent reason at all. And the other, convincing me that we were in love, sleeping with me, and then cheating on me with the Homecoming Queen. So basically Haley and Dating: very non-mixy things."

"Blah, blah, blah, who cares? New guy, new start babe. I swear, you seriously gotta stop living in the past."

....................

**The club was packed.** From the outdoors the neon light sign was the only thing alighting the large groups of people waiting outside to get in. The deep thick base coming from the speakers pulsed over the dance floor, reverberating through the entire building. Soft clouds of smoke gave way, and the low cascading lights that showered the room, gave the place a very mysterious appearance. 

Haley, on the other hand knew differently.

All the same people, at all the same tables, ordering the same drinks, dancing to mostly the same songs. It was her life, or at least it had been every weekend for the last six months. Serving tray firmly in hand, she skillfully ducked and dodged her way through the crowd with relative ease, coming to stop at a small group of girls who'd waved her down.

She began taking their orders, when over one of the girl's shoulders she saw Brooke and Peyton slip in behind Dominic the bouncer, giggling to themselves about something funny they had just done.

"I'll be right out with those," Haley told the girl, taking the sheet to the bartender, and then stopping where her own friends had sat down.

"Hey there friend, having fun," Brooke said leaning forward so that she could be heard.

"Oh yeah loads," Haley yelled back, above the music. "So what are you slackers doing here? Come to taunt me on your night off?"

"Actually we came for D.J. Sonic, bothering you is just an added bonus," Peyton teased, with a grin.

"You want the usual?"

"Yeah," Peyton nodded.

"Brooke?"

"Huh? What," she refocused back on Haley.

"DO YOU WANT ANYTHING," she said slowly, holding up her tray and notepad for emphasis.

"Give me a Rum and Coke," she replied, returning her attention to the table across the room.

Haley tried to figure out what Brooke was looking at, waving her hand in front of her face to get her attention "Hey! What is it?"

"See that table over there? Those people look really familiar," she pointed. Haley turned to see, but with the size of the crowd and her own shortness, wasn't able to make out much.

"Well let me get your drinks and I'll see what's up. I think it's my table anyway," she said, giving the girls a quick wink before heading toward the bar.

About five minutes later, after all her drinks had been made and served Haley forged her way up into the corner of the club, where the bigger tables where placed. Wiping her hands on her short black apron, she readjusted the rather skimpy black and white top that her jerks for employers made all the girls wear. Stepping up a few small steps onto the platform where the last table in the corner lay, Haley took a deep composing breath, and then approached the circle.

"Hi everyone my name's Haley. I'll be your waitress this evening. Is there anything I can get for you guys," she spoke cheerfully, keeping her eyes downward, to her note pad.

"Well, well ,well if isn't tutor girl," Nathan Scott said, a huge smirk written all over his handsome features.

 Haley flicked her head up to look at the face that came with the voice, just to make sure she hadn't lost her mind. When she saw it was in fact him, she paused, trying to collect her thoughts or even the simplest of words, the only thing running through her mind was what Brooke had said to her earlier in the day: _You gotta stop living in the past_. 

No shit.


	3. Ego Tripping

A/N: Sorry this chapter is so short, but I wanted to get something in today. Next update should be on or before Wednesday. As always thank you for the wonderful feedback. It's like my own personal crack.

TOXIC

Chapter 3

Ego Tripping

**"So the valedictorian of Bayview **high schoolis waitressing at a dance club. You certainly are goin' places," Nathan maligned, while giving Haley a cocky smirk.

Both of the girls and a of the few guys chuckled lightly at Nathan's lame attempt to unnerve her. Haley glanced around the entire table this time, realizing she recognized every face there. She gulped back a breath of air, her throat dry and scratchy. The word _Vile_, rising in her brain as she looked at the group in front of her. The group that had spent the majority of high school making her feel unwelcome and unworthy.

Scott's Seven. God she was amazed she even remembered it at all.  Nathan Scott and his band of friends. The elite of the elite at West Bayview Highschool. A group that originated from a previous generation, of cocktail parties and caviar dinners. Dan and Deb Scott creating an empire of fortune and prestige that they gladly handed down to their sons. Nathan being the natural ringer leader of course, the big man on campus. He'd also been one of the best basketball player's in Bayviews' history, earning him recognition all over the state. Something he constantly used as leverage to get anything and everything he wanted. One of the many reasons Haley had always despised him.

Tim Smith, and Vegas Parker also sat at the table. Nathan's two mindless lackey's, following him around like little puppy dogs, since day one of highschool. Trying to soak up any left over attention they could get. Theresa Phillips and Kelly Roberts, sat next to each other, their perfectly manicured faces, masking their true nature. Being part of the two most successful and wealthiest family's had earned them a spot in the group, as well. That and their willingness to sleep with any guy. Leaving Jake Jakski and Nathan's brother Lucas to round out the group. 

However, it was Lucas who seemed to stand out at Haley, his soft demeanor and kind eyes the same as she had remembered.

"Hi Luke," Haley said peacefully, giving him a small smile.

"How you doin''," Lucas smiled back.

"Surviving," she laughed nervously. "How's Duke treating you?"

"Good, for the most part. Finals were killer though," he answered lightly.

"I bet. I'm sure you did great. You always have," she replied with another smile.

Nathan on the other hand seemed disinterested in this entire encounter, and instead snapped his fingers at her to gain her attention. Haley shot him an annoyed glare, wondering where she'd gotten the courage  for that.

"Hey Heather, you gonna take our order," barked Nathan.

"It's Haley, and yes. What would you like?"

"What have you got," he asked, ignoring the menu in front of him.

"We've got a selection of drafts, hard liquors, malt liquors, mixed drinks, shots ," Haley listed off, pulling the menu out of it's holder and flipping it open for him. "Why don't you take a look for yourself."

"I'll have a Heineken," he replied, with an malignant smile, his eyes never leaving hers.

Haley took everyone else's order rather quickly, letting them know it might be a few minutes before their order was out. The whole time feeling Nathan's eyes watching her, surveying her moves, making her nervous and rigid. She made it down the steps when she heard Nathan call to her again.

"Oh and Hannah, get us a basket of chicken wings too," he shouted to her, turning around and laughing obnoxiously when someone else made a comment she hadn't been able hear.

...................................

**As fast as she could **Haley made it back to the bar, and to her own friend's table, taking off her apron and shoving it at them. "Here put this on."

"Umm why," Brooke asked, looking at her strangely.

"Because that table in the corner, the one with the people you thought looked familiar. Well they are familiar. Mostly because_ they_ are Nathan Scott and his "MagnificentSeven." And I can't go back over there. I really, really, _really_, can't. So just take this, and pretend to be me, and I will owe you for the rest of my life. Deal?"

Peyton and Brooke noticed the pleading look on Haley's face, and grimaced. Once upon a time they had been a part of that group. They had been on the inside, seen the way they could be cruel to almost everyone that didn't fit their ideal, or their price bracket. But when highschool had ended the group had dispersed, their relationships had dissolved like dust in the wind. Because truthfully most of them weren't ever really friends. It seemed surreal that they were all together again, as if the last two years had never happened. Brooke especially knew what it was like to be on the outside, she'd been the target of their ridicule more than a couple times. It was different now though. They were in college, adults now damn it, they didn't have to cower anymore.

"Ok listen to me, before you spaz out," Brooke stated taking hold of Haley's shoulders. "We're going to go over to the bar,  get your order, then we're going to go back over to that table and pretend to make polite conversation."

"But---."

"No buts, come on lets go and get this over with," she ordered, pulling Haley by the arm, while Peyton followed quickly behind.

As they made their way over Haley was hit with the sinking feeling that no matter what Brooke said or did, Nathan would still get the better of her friend. He knew right where her soft spot was. They did after all, have a history.

"Greetings and Salutations all," Brooke called to them, a huge plastic smile firmly in place.

"Brooke Davis.......and Peyton Sawyer, long time no see," Theresa stated, with false cheeriness.

"Hello Theresa," Peyton replied dryly, "How are you?"

"Busy as always. Daddy's moved the business over seas now, so we've been traveling to Europe a lot lately. We got a new boat this summer too," she flipped her long brown curls over her shoulders gracefully.

"Intriguing," Peyton responded, with even less enthusiasm.

"And what have you two been up to," Nathan asked from the corner where he sat.

Brooke immediately caught his attention and let out a petty laugh. "Do my eyes deceive me, Nathan Scott actually home for Christmas? Well that's a first."

"One for everything," he chimed. "So what are you doing here?"

"Don't play dumb Nate, you know I go to school here," Brooke said.

"Oh that's right, I must have forgot,  being up in Michigan and all."

Brooke decided to ignore his comment, and focus on the others at the table. Making idle chit chat, while Peyton did the same. In the background Haley stood there staring at them, feeling awkward and out of place. _Just like highschool all over again_, she thought with growing gloom.


	4. To Seek and Destroy

A/N: Whoa, another update so soon! It's craziness I tell ya, just craziness. But I do it for you guys. I really truly do.

TOXIC 

Chapter 4

To Seek and Destroy

**Haley sat at the bar**, on break, alone. From where she was sitting she could still see her friends mingling with _them_, and it left a foul taste in her mouth. That and she was tired to say the least. The after hours crowd always seemed to spend a little bit more money on booze than the early nighters, which left Haley and the other waitresses with twice as much work. Not to mention the circles Nathan was having her run, making her get this and that and the other thing for him. Making sure she was at his beck and call. It was during a rather quiet spot that she'd managed to squeeze in a short time-out amongst the madness. A light tap on her shoulder broke her out of her thoughts, and she turned her head from side to side.

"Over here," Lucas teased, grinning.

"I'm way too exhausted to think that's cute right now," she said with a heavy smile.

"Yeah well, I wanted to talk to you away from the vultures."

"Is it just me, or have they gotten worse since graduation," she asked.

"It's the trust funds, they finally cashed them in. The money went straight to their heads," he joked, and they shared a laugh together.

"Seriously though Luke, Nathan's become Satan Junior. He might actually be evil now, maybe you should check. I hear they usually put the 666 somewhere on top the head."

Lucas let out a chuckle, and then a breath."He's had a bad year Hales. Don't be too hard on him."

Haley shook head back and forth. "Oh, did pwoo wittle Nafan have a hawd time, at a reaw schoow," she mocked in a child's voice.

Lucas didn't respond, instead only laughed at how easy it was to feel like they were friends again, "I really missed ya Haley."

"He's the only one," an ominous voice came from behind them.

Haley spun her barstool to the side to see Nathan standing behind her, still managing to look as cocky as ever, even when he was inebriated.

"What do you want now," Haley spat back at him, unwilling to deal with his attitude any longer.

"You've haven't come by in a while," he tsk'd, " I was getting thirsty Hope."

"It's Haley, and I'm on a break. If you want a drink order it from the bar. You are standing in front of one after all."

Nathan gave her a charming smile, and turned toward his brother. "Come on Luke, come back and join the party. You can bring your little friend here if you want," he said, giving Haley a distasteful look.

"In a minute," Lucas replied, watching Nathan nod and walk away.

"No! Don't even ask. It's not gonna happen," Haley declared, putting her hand up as if to halt his words.

"Come on Hales, it'll be fun," he begged.

"Like a root canal," she muttered, turning to the table and shaking her head.

"His bark is much worse than his bite, I swear. He's been pissy to everyone today."

"Oh and here I thought I was special," Haley claimed, running a hand through her hair.

"Please, as a favor to me come over there, just for a few minutes," he begged, his eyes sparkling.

Haley sighed in resignation, "Fine, but you owe me, you owe me _big_!"

"Anything you want," Lucas stated, grabbing her hand and leading her back toward her doom.

..................

**True to his word, Lucas had** made sure everyone was being their most cordial. That didn't however, stop Nathan from leering at Haley every few moments, while she quietly sat with them.

The entire night felt like a bad acid trip.  It all seemed to much on the of the edge of surreal. And right now, she just wanted it to be over. A quick glance to her watch, informed her it was nearing closing time.

"Where you goin'," Nathan stopped Haley as she made to leave. A teasing grin on his face. Haley looked at him, with an angry glare. Then sending Lucas a pleading glance.

"Let her go Nate," Lucas called from the other end of the table.

Nathan gave her another evil smirk, and let her hand slip from his. "Grab me another Guinness while you're up there," he ordered, looking away.

Haley gave him a baffled expression, "Are you serious, we close in like 2 minutes?"

"Then I'll drink it fast," he returned bluntly.

Groaning in irritation Haley quickly ran up to the bar and asked for the beer.

The bartender checked below and behind him, and then turned to her, "We're all out," he said, "But I think we have whole case in the basement, run down there and get it," he threw her the spare keys from under the counter. "I'm headin' out."

Haley nodded, and went to leave, when he called to her again. "Oh and make sure you put the keys back before you leave.

With another nod, Haley swerved through the crowed swiftly. When she came to the back hallway that held the men's and women's bathroom, she walked all the way to the end where the last door lie.

Grabbing the keys from her pocket she unlocked the door and traveled down a long stairwell to the basement. At the bottom of the steps was a rather large space, cut off by another two doors. One, which led to the storage room where they kept the extra tables, chairs, and other odds and ends. And the other which led to where the alcohol was stored.

Haley had been down here only a few times, usually grabbing a spare case of Vodka, or Budweiser. It was almost always colder then all hell, mostly because her incompetent bosses never deemed it fit to turn the heat on down there. Not even when they did inventory at the end of February. Jerks.

With a stifling shiver, Haley wrapped her arms around her body, using her leg to prop the door open with a half empty box Bacardi.

Searching around the room practically blind, Haley found a metal chain hanging from the ceiling. She pulled down on it, so that the single light bulb dimly lit the medium sized room.

Racks of boxes surrounded her, on all fours walls, and there were no windows to be seen. The cement floor was barren except for a few old signs and a rolled up rug from last years New Year's bash.

Almost instantly Haley found the box of Guinness on the far top shelf, in the left corner. However, unable to reach it on her own, she grabbed hold of the racks pillar's, lifting herself up so that she stood on the second shelf.

Haley checked her watch quickly, while using her other arm to hold onto the left pillar. With a mild groan she reached into the box and pulled out a single bottle, just as the sound of an annoyingly gruff and sexy voice came from behind her.

"You almost done Holly," Nathan purred, standing tall and proud in the doorway, hands stuffed in his pockets.

"What are you doing down here," Haley jumped to the ground, a new level of bitterness and fatigue in her words.

Nathan cocked his head to the side, and smiled. "You know, you should really be more grateful Heidi, I only came down here to help you," he replied innocently, snatching up the box that held the large metal door open. Walking forward a few steps, he let the door snap shut behind him. And came into the room setting the box on the ground, as if helping her move that box was his most charitable deed.

What he then noticed was Haley move as if in slow motion, bursting passed him and screaming, "NO!"

Nathan gave her an odd expression as she barreled toward the now closed exit. "Actually I was expecting more of a 'thank you for your help Nathan,' but...whatever."

Haley meanwhile, frantically pulled on the silver door knob, trying with all her might to get it to open. Short heavy breaths escaped her mouth. When she finally gave up, and turned toward her enemy, pure hatred radiated from her eyes.

"I can't even.....this isn't happening...no...no.....I-I...._You_," she seethed, settling on his face, unable to move.

Scratching his head in confusion Nathan looked to her, "Excuse me?"

"The door. The one that you just let close behind me. Only opens from the opposite side! Which means---"

"Which means we're locked in," he finished, his eyes wide and glassy.

A/N: Don't forget to review, and let me know what you think so far!!


	5. Trapped in Ecstacy

A/N: Hey everyone, thank you so much for your great and wonderful feedback, you know I live for it. I just wanted to reiterate to anyone who's slightly confused, that this is an AU fic. Which means it's set in an alternate universe and not the one we know from the show. So yes, in this story the gang all grew up together but their relationships are very different from what has played out on t.v. Ok, hope that clears some stuff up for ya. If you already knew all of this then don't pay any attention to my blathering and please do read on!

TOXIC

Chapter 5

Trapped in Ecstacy

3:07 am.....

**"Well fuck me," Nathan laughed**, reveling in the fact that he had just unintentionally locked the two of them in this dank little room.

Haley looked at him with disdain.

He partly wanted to curse his friends for bringing him to the club in the first place, and immersing him back into the world he'd happily left two and half years ago. Not that he'd really ever taken much joy out of life in Bayview in the first place. Another part of him saw this as chance to benefit, to corrupt the innocent_ girl_, and in a basement no less. One of his more mild fantasy's, but something that would still provide him with a small amount of sport. And Nathan Scott never backed down from a challenge, never had, never would.

However looking at Haley in her current fury, made him think this newest conquest, might take a little more persuasion than usual.

"I don't see why you're laughing, there's absolutely nothing funny about this," Haley finally spit out at him, pacing back and forth.

"Oh chill out Harriot, it's not like this is a life or death situation."

"It might be, if you don't stop laughing and start thinking about a way out of here," she replied, continuing to pace, her eyes skipping around the room, and then back to him every few seconds. Mentally, Haley was running different ideas through her head about how she could get out, each option becoming less and less possible to manage.

Nathan, meanwhile pulled out his cell phone with a jovial smile, and flipped it open. The screen only read: _Searching...._ He tried dialing a number, and still got no luck. He flipped it shut and put it back in his pocket. 

"I'm not getting any reception, try your phone," he told her.

"I don't have one," she replied dryly, still pacing rapidly, chewing on her bottom lip.

"You_ don't_ have one," he looked incredulous, awestruck even at her words.

"Not with me, Captain Obvious," she growled.

Nathan could tell her anger was building, and found it to be quite amusing. So with a fair amount of liquid courage in his body, he decided to see how much farther he could push the envelope, before she really lost it.

Coming up behind her and placing his hands lightly on her shoulders, Nathan leaned down, and breathed a warm stream of hot air down her neck, causing Haley to shudder, her knees turning to jelly. "I know just how to loosen you up Hilary," his voice silky and smooth, as his hands traveled down her chest.

Suddenly Haley realized what exactly it was that Nathan was implying, and more importantly what his hands were doing. With lightening quick speed, she twirled out of his embrace, roughly  shoving him away from her.

Nathan tried to feign innocence, holding his hands up in mock surrender, even as a cocky smirk crossed his face. Haley immediately saw through his act.

"Listen Pervert, just because we're stuck in here together, does not give you a free pass to grope on me."

"And yet you still let it happen."

"You came up behind me, without my knowing," she ranted, as Nathan gave her a disinterested look, and then sat down leisurely on an old box against the wall.

"Oh give it a rest Harmony. It's not like we had sex, although if you're offering—," before the next word left Nathan's mouth, the sound of shattering glass rang through his ears.

Nathan instinctively jumped back to see the black shards of glass from the Guinness bottle Haley had thrown at him lay in scattered pieces, only inches from his body. When he realized none had actually hit him, he jumped in front of Haley, and turned an angry glare at her. "Are you out of your fucking mind? That could've cut me."

"For the last time, my name is Haley. HAY-LEE. Not Holly or Heather or Helga, or any of the other stupid-ass names you can possibly think up. It's just Haley. If you want to call me something it will be that got it? And more importantly never, _ever,_ touch me again. Or next time when I throw something at you, I won't miss."

So surprised by her total outburst and unaware that she could even be that intimidating, Nathan simply gave her a small nod of recognition and went to sit across the room from her. He watched her do the same. And he began to realize that if he was going to get anywhere with her, he might need to start rethinking his plan.

..................

4:34 am......

**The silence had been deafening.**

Mostly because neither Haley nor Nathan had spoken for over an hour. Merely sitting in their own separate corners, staring, but not really staring at each other. Every few minutes Haley could feel herself drift off from exhaustion. The reality that she was still stuck like a caged rabbit with the "Prince" of Bayview, was the only thing keeping her from completely losing consciousness.

At one point Haley had even begun to let herself relax, believing that maybe Nathan wasn't going to make this whole experience a living nightmare, like she had previously assumed.

But then it started.

It was soft at first, the sound so faint that it didn't really bother her. And then it got more consistent as he continued to do it, over and over again, faster and faster as the minutes ticked away.

Haley could feel her toes curl up in irritation, her jaw twitch, as he continued to tap his foot against the floor. She couldn't handle it anymore. She'd rather hear a baby screaming, than this monotonous, repetitive tapping.

"Could you stop doing that please," she gritted out through clenched teeth.

Nathan turned to her, his foot only moving faster. "What?......This," he asked, as he kept up his firm rhythm.

_Pain. Lots and lots of pain,_ Haley thought, while she watched him taunt her with joy. "Ahhh, why do you have to be such an ass," she said point-blank, shaking her head as if she was a disapproving elder, rather than his peer.

"Why do you have to be such a bitch," he through back at her without a blink of an eye.

"I'm just reacting to you. You are the one that got us stuck down here after all."

"Oh right, like I did this on purpose. Yeah, cause this is how I really wanted to spend my Saturday night."

"Well I don't see you trying to figure a way out, Boy Genius."

"What and help you get free? I'd rather watch you suffer," he answered coldly, his eyes dark. His guard up and ready to fight.

Haley looked away from him, and rested her head up against the rack she was sitting by, her eyes cast up to the ceiling as if she was trying to find some kind of guidance, while she shook her hands towards the sky. "Why me God? Why? What did I do to deserve this," she pleaded.

Nathan watched her in amusement, "What question would like me to answer first?"

The smirk on his face was enough to make Haley want to scream. His entire being, beginning to grate on her very last nerve. "Please–please, shut the fuck up," she implored.

 Nathan gave her another arrogant grin and shook his head at her. "Such language James. Not quite like the girl I remember from high school."

"What can I say Scott, you bring it out in me.  And by _it_, I mean the worst," Haley shot him an venomous glare.

"Oh I'm touched, really," his lips curled up into a smile, as he touched his hand to his heart.

Haley tried not face him. "Can you try not speaking for more than five seconds?"

"Probably. But why would I want to do that, when I know you're having so much fun talking with me?"

Obviously ignoring him, wouldn't work. Mr. Popularity was too use to getting his own way, to simply be disregarded.  So Haley figured if she was going to make it through the next 15 hours unscathed she would have to be straight with him. Honesty was the best policy. Right?

"If we're both going to make it through the night, without killing each other, that would be great. It requires that you not drive me mentally insane though. Ok?"

Nathan bit back the retort he had stewing in the back of his mind, and simply shrugged his shoulders. She gave him a skeptical look at which he smiled at internally. If she wanted the cordial, sensible type of guy he could do that.

Silence befell the room once more, but only for a few minutes until Nathan spoke again. "So why'd you stay in Bayview," he asked, appearing interested.

"What," Haley looked at him, unsure of his attitude change. The Nathan she'd remembered had always been somewhat moody, a little all over the place, and his sudden flip to make polite conversation seemed off.

"I'm just saying, you want me to be civil, and considerate. Here it is. Let's talk then. Tell me, why didn't you ever leave Bayview?"

Haley contemplated him for a moment. Finally deciding that however strange this entire night had been, or how weird Nathan was beginning to act, she could still humor him even if it was solely to get him to stop pissing her off.

"I like it here. I don't really have anything to run away from," she replied pointedly at Nathan.

"And I do," he asked immediately on the defensive.

"Your dad, basketball, both. I don't know that's just what I assumed when Lucas told me you were going to Michigan."

"That's right, I almost forgot, you and Lucas, the great couple of Bayview High. You guys were so tight. It would've almost been cute, if it hadn't made me want to puke," he folded his arms in front of him, his eyes focused on the box in front of him now, rather than her.

Haley and Lucas. Lucas and Haley. Their two names in connection with each other, God it felt like a lifetime ago. Haley even forgot sometimes that they had ever really been a couple. The whole thing started as a joke really, to begin with. He'd come to her for a couple books in the middle of their Senior year. They'd began talking and before either of them knew it they were friends. True friends, not like the ones that pretended to be his, in that group that followed him and Nathan around. What was entertaining, however, was that people like Nathan and Tim, and Kelly, all thought he was warming up to her to get some kind of academic crutch. To get out of doing homework, or essays, or calculus problems. But if any of them had paid close attention, they would have all known that Lucas never needed any tutoring from Haley. Which was what she loved about him the most. They felt like equals. She felt at ease around him, and he did with her. Or so she thought, until he'd broken it off with her two weeks after graduation. The same time Nathan had chosen to let go of Brooke, and their relationship of four years. Something Haley still begrudged Nathan for.

"No that would be you and Brooke, if my memory serves me correctly," she finally managed to spat back.

 Nathan's eyes gleamed, at her abrupt turn of the conversation. "That was obligation, and nothing more. Our parents were friends, so of course we had to be together. She was a cheerleader, I was captain of the basketball team, and all that other bullshit."

"So you never had any feelings for her," Haley asked with dismay.

"Sure I did, it just wasn't _true love _or any of that other crap everyone feeds to you about high school sweethearts. Brooke used me to climb the social latter, just as much as I used her to get my parents off my back."

Haley shook her head in disgust, "So that makes dumping her right before you leave for school, ok then?"

"She was just as ready to be free of the relationship as I was," he replied.

"Is that why you left then, to get away from her," she asked with more canter this time, turning toward him.

"No. I was sick of this place. I needed get away. See life ya know, without the pressures this town puts on me. Don't you ever get sick of it here," Nathan through out, trying to change the subject. Feeling way to trapped and vulnerable to start discussing old battle wounds from his past.

Haley seemed to pick up on his unsure demeanor, and let it slide. "Sometimes," she shrugged," I wish I could travel more, have the money to travel. But I don't."

"Well you should try. Because the world's a whole lot damn bigger when you can actually look at this place from the outside," Nathan stated.

"If I had the luxury of leaving maybe I would. But I've never really had that option," she told him.

"Because......"

"Again with the no money."

Nathan watched Haley turn rigid, as she watched him speak. "Why are you looking at me that way?"

"What way," she snapped.

"Like I just shot your damn puppy. It's not my fault I have money and you don't," he declared with an innocent conscious.

It had been over two years since they'd been in high school, over two years since she'd had to deal with people like Nathan. And in that second Haley realized that's exactly what there was. _People like Nathan. _The ones like him, who grew up with everything given to them,never having to struggle to buy books, or pay rent. Never being grateful or appreciative, or even graceful about what they had been given, always looking for what they didn't have. Yes, there were people like Nathan, and then there were people like her. And the two would never mix. But Haley sure as hell wasn't going to let him get out that easily.

"It doesn't change the fact that you treated everyone outside of your little group like they were nothing. And you still do it even now," she accused, waving her arm at him, in anger.

"Hey," Nathan yelled back at her, "Just because you dated my brother doesn't mean you understand anything about _my_ life, or why I did what I did."

"I see more than you me credit for," she set her eyes on him with a hard glare.

"Yeah I bet," he stared back at her, moving to get up.

Haley followed, pushing herself off the ground, "Take tonight for example," she began, "Other than making me run around like a chicken with my head cut off, for your own amusement. You would've never gave me a second glance if we hadn't got stuck in here together."

"Maybe, maybe not. You don't know me," Nathan muttered, as he walked around the room, avoiding her.

"You're so full of shit," she yelled, getting up in front of him. "We grew up in the same town together. Spent four years of high school together. And in all those years you never once said hi to me, I wasn't even a blip on your radar. So don't go preaching about your humble character in front of me. I don't buy it."

"Right, because the virtuous and innocent Haley James has never done anything stupid or regretful in her entire life," Nathan clamored, his face tight with unbidden anger.

"No your wrong. I'm pretty positive getting locked in here with you is at the top of that list," she turned away from him haughtily.

Nathan bit the side of his face, "Arrgh, why are you such a raging bitch," he finally let out.

Haley didn't even flinch. She'd expected him to resort to name calling when he couldn't think of an intelligent comeback. In most cases the Nathan Scott she knew of would just walk away, he always walked away. This time, however he couldn't, and Haley knew that was driving him crazy.

"I'm just being honest and you can't handle it."

With a resigned sigh, Nathan ran a hand through his hair, and slumped back down into his corner. "Forget it. Never mind.  You were right, let's just not talk at all."

"Fine," she went back to sit down, crossing her arms in front of her.

"Fine," he mumbled, resting his head against the wall. 

This girl was unbelievable. Everything she said, everything she did seemed to get under his nerves. _Screw trying to get anything out of her, _Nathan thought.  Right now, he just wanted to be free.


	6. A Truce Among Captives

TOXIC

Chapter 6

A Truce Among Captives

7:45 am.......

**Haley looked down at her watch** for the hundredth time that hour, noticing the big hand had only moved five notches, since she'd last checked it.

Across the room Nathan was half asleep. Every few minutes he'd wake up, switch sitting positions on the hard cement floor, and then doze off again. Haley attempted the same thing for the past few hours, but she just couldn't seem to get to sleep.  

She was too damn cold.

Another violent shiver ran through her body, causing her to groan in frustration, and exhaustion.

Nathan glanced over at her this time, but didn't say anything, too annoyed by her presence, and in his own discomfort to care.

It was when Haley turned to sit up against the wall, that she noticed Nathan had pulled something from the corner of the room. It looked vaguely like one of the old rugs they'd used for last year's Christmas, and New Year's party's.

Apparently he had wrapped it around himself to keep warm. When he'd done this exactly, Haley didn't know. She inwardly cursed herself though, for not thinking of the idea sooner. 

Across the room Nathan picked up her longing look, and smirked with evil glee.

"Cold," he asked, snuggling into the rug as he saw her shiver.

"I'm good," she shifted away from him in defiance.

"Cause ya know, all you have to do is ask nicely, and I might let you slide in with me," he patted his lap suggestively.

Haley squeezed her hands together until her knuckles turned white. Bit down hard on her jaw to keep from screaming at him in frustration.

Because she honestly couldn't for the life of her figure out why he had to be so shitty all the time. Why he had to make everything so damn difficult. 

She gave him a disgusted look and rolled her eyes. Not to be outdone, Nathan let out a snort and mumbled something derisive under his breath, Letting Haley know that his feelings for her were mutual. Which made her even more angry with him, for being so completely childish.

"You're an asshole Nathan. You will always be and asshole. You know why?"

He tilted his head to the side disinterestedly, away from her. "Seeing as I can't go anywhere, and you're probably going to tell me whether I want to hear it or not. By all means, go ahead. Enlighten me."

"Because you don't have the desire or guts to be anything else," she said simply, and with outright sincerity.

Nathan flicked his eyes up and met hers. And for a split second Haley thought she might have hit a nerve. But as quickly as she saw it, it was gone, his ever present mask back in place. 

 "Ooh semi-harsh comments from the peanut gallery." He grinned at her with amusement.

"Screw you Nathan," she muttered.

"Mmm......I'm gonna pass on that. But maybe, if you lose the Holier-than-thou-attitude, later on I'll let you blow me," he ran his tongue over his bottom lip, his eyes heavy lidded.

Haley snorted at him in revulsion Her voice rising. "Oh I bet you'd just love that. To see me down on my knees in front of you. Every rich boy's wet dream. Fuck the poor girl behind Daddy's back."

"Like you wouldn't kill for the chance to get in my pants. Or _any_ of the Bayview Elites for that matter," Nathan hissed.

"Honestly, no," she said with conviction. "You guys were all made from the same mold Nathan. You charm your way into a girl's bed, use her up until she's dry, and then throw her away like last Thursday's rotting garbage. And _I_ don't like to play that way."

Nathan watched her gleaming eyes, her serious face. "No you just don't play," he gritted out at her, contemptuously.

Haley let out sardonic laugh, when she looked up at him again. "Funny, that's all you ever seem to do," she turned around then, and went back to her corner to sit down, done with the perverseness of this conversation.

At that moment he wanted to hit her like he'd never wanted to hit anything in his life. Smack her hard across the face, make her cry out. The question exactly, was why? Sure, yeah, she'd pissed him off. So had tons of other people. Nathan wasn't really known for his patience and sensitivity. But in all of his years, he'd never wanted to hit a woman, not really. Not like he did right now. And that was what made him take a step back, because he knew, if he said one more thing, if he egged her on to say something else, and she responded like she'd been doing. Then he really would do it. And that made him feel like a true bastard. Even worse than his father.

So instead of saying what had popped into his mind, Nathan felt silent guilt. Not just for what he'd said tonight, but for all of the things he'd done to girls just like her in the past.  Because something about this girl made him feel sorry, made him want to apologize.

With a sigh, Nathan walked over to Haley, and let the rug he'd been using drop down in front of her feet.

She looked up at him confused, and he just shrugged. "I've got my jacket," he said quietly, retreating back to his side of the room.

Haley picked the rug up and wrapped it around her slowly, feeling somehow selfish and inconsiderate for using it for herself. She wanted to be angry, pissed at Nathan for his idiotic behavior.  Of course part of her was.

But she also didn't want to be spiteful. Because regardless of Nathan's overall unlikable personality, he did have a point. It wasn't his fault he'd grown up rich. 

While she could blame him for his behavior, she couldn't hold his entire up brining, his family, his social status against him. It wasn't fair. People changed. In the last 2 years she had. Maybe, just maybe, he had too.

Picking up the rug, brining across the room, and sitting down next to Nathan, Haley pulled it up over both of them.   And instead of the cocky grin, or overly arrogant smirk she'd gotten thus far,  he looked grateful. As grateful as she'd probably ever seen him be, and for the moment that was enough to curb her doubts. 

For the next few hours they could call a truce, she supposed. If only to make it out of the basement in one piece.

A/N: Feedback brings updates faster……I swear!!!


	7. The Breakdown

TOXIC

Chapter 7

The Breakdown

12:02 pm......

**Before she even opened her** eyes, Haley knew only two things. One was that she was still, unfortunately in a basement at her place of employment, cold, hungry, and very badly in need of a restroom.

The second of which slightly more alarming, was that she was laying, or rather cuddling next to Nathan Scott. And the real shocker–she was' t completely disgusted by this knowledge. In fact if she were to be honest with herself, she was actually quite enjoying it..

The side of his body was pressed against hers, her head on top of his shoulder. Haley could feel the hardness of his muscles under his shirt, the warmth of his body, bouncing off of him and onto her. His even breaths lulling her back to sleep. 

Wearily she flicked her eyes up to look at him, careful of her movements, so as not wake him. His eyes fluttered, his chest expanded from breathing, he still looked so handsome.

Haley quickly scolded herself. _He is not good looking, he is not a good person, he is an evil, evil rich boy, with too much time on his hands. He'll only use you Haley, he'll never be who you want him to be. He'll only hurt you._

With that mantra repeating itself in her head, she tried to slip from his embrace.__

"Morning," she heard him whisper, from behind her.

Haley stalled, and turned back around, unsure of how to act. He seemed decent for now, but who knew when he'd snap again.

"Afternoon actually," she replied, showing him her watch, as she sat back down facing opposite him.

Nathan ran a hand over his face and eyes, in an effort to wake him self up. Then paused before speaking, "About last night....," he began, his eyes anywhere but on her. He fidgeted with the rug in front of him.

"Yeah," she asked, watching him.

"About that....um can we just let it all go for now?"

_Let what go_, Haley wanted ask, and then remembered the words that had passed between them only hours before. She was supposed to be angry and put off by him, like always. And yet, seeing him like this, his hair slightly ruffled, his eyes still heavy from sleep, he looked so different, so shy. It made it hard not to be mad at him, damn it.

"What, like start off on a slate," was what she asked.

"Kind of.... I guess," he yawned., tilting his head down.

"You know that's not completely possible for us right? There's way too much history."

Nathan pulled the rug off of him, and flipped it over to his side. "Well just pretend, for the next however many hours, that you're not stuck down here by force, and don't completely hate my guts with a burning passion. That might make it easer," he boasted.

Haley caught his eyes this time, "I don't hate you Nathan."

"Really," he asked, with a grin.

"Yeah," she answered honestly, "I just don't like you very much."

Nathan smiled at her teasing, clutching a hand to his chest to cover his heart, "Ouch James, that hurts."__

"Oh right, because, Nathan Scott is a paragon of sensitivity," she commented dryly.

"I'm just stating the obvious. You hated me. I knew it, even if Lucas hadn't told me. I could of been more likable, but I wasn't."

"Is that supposed to be an apology," Haley questioned.

"If you want it to be one, then it is."

Haley sighed, figuring that was probably the best answer she was going to get from him anytime soon.

 "If you're willing to let go about last night , then I guess I'm willing too," she answered, hesitantly.

Nathan's smile sparkled, "Well I can work with that."__

A/N: As always thank you all for the great feedback. I really love it. You guys rawk!!! 


	8. I Shall Be Undone

I promised a longer chapter. And now I deliver. Love me yet? Ok hope you all enjoy this little bit, I was having a hard time getting it to a point where I liked it, and I'm not sure I did a good job. So please give me feedback and let me know if you thought it read well or not. Or if there was anything I could of improved on. Thanks, guys!!

TOXIC

Chapter 8

I Shall Be Undone

3:47 pm.........

**"If you could have anything** to eat right now what would it be," Nathan asked, as he lay sprawled out on the floor. Haley lay beside him, facing the opposite direction, the rug underneath their bodies as a cushion. They'd both been relatively civil towards each other since they'd woken up earlier in the day, the air around them somehow lighter, the pressure to be who everyone else saw them as, now gone.

Haley contemplated Nathan's question for a moment. "I want a big, juicy, fatty, cheesy hamburger, and ...........curly fries," she purred, the words rolling out of her mouth like silk.

Nathan's stomach growled. "Or greasy cheese pizza with sausage and onions, and-and olives, yeah black olives," he said excitedly.

"Nix on the onions and you've got yourself a deal," she said, rubbing her stomach from hunger.

"You don't like onions?"

"That would be a huge no. Why do you," she asked, her face scrunched up in disgust.

"Hell yeah. That and green pepper's, maybe some hot sauce. I like my food all kinds of spicey," he licked his lips just thinking about it.

"And I like my food when it's not giving me heart burn. Although," she paused, " I could go for some pepperoni  pizza, with a few bread sticks....mmmmm"

"And with a big glass of milk," Nathan added, closing his eyes with sweet memory.

Haley turned to him, squinting her eyes. "Did you just say you wanted milk with pizza?"

"Yeah. Why you never tried it?"

Haley rolled up onto her side and gave him a look of total revolt. "Uh no, that's nasty."

"No, nasty is putting corn and octopus on your pizza, that's what's nasty," Nathan stated, pushing himself up onto his elbows, a mild smirk on his face.

Haley didn't buy it, "You're totally lying to me, no way do people do that."

Nathan let out a little knowing chuckle, and moved to sit upright so that he could look at Haley straight on.

 "Last summer, me, Theresa, and a couple of the guys, toured all around Europe and Asia. We spent like about a week in Japan I think. Anyway, so we stopped in this small grocery store shop thing to get some food. All we see are these strange pastry breads, and raw fish and junk like that. Until we come to the freezer isle, and see these frozen pizza's. We're all hyped, cause we think we've finally found some normal food ya know. And then we pull one out, and it's covered with like cabbage, and bacon, and corn. We pick up another, and it's got shrimp and octopus on it. Half the guys wanted to hurl, it was hilarious."

Haley's eyes were comically wide, "So... did you eat it?"

Nathan laughed, and fell onto his back "Hell no!"

Pushing herself into a sitting position, Haley carelessly twisted one of the rug tassels with her fingers. "You probably could of picked that stuff off ya know," she gave him a quick smile.

"There you go being all logical, helps me a lot now," he teased her.

Haley let out a little laugh, until their eyes met. Unconsciously she looked back to her tassel, and began twisting it again. "So you went to Japan huh? That's pretty awesome," she said, changing the subject.

Nathan nodded his head somewhat reluctantly, reliving the experience in his head, as he sighed, "Yeah, it wasn't too bad. It rained the whole time we were there though. Theresa kept bitching and moaning about her hair, or her makeup or something. Annoyed the crap out of me."

Haley sympathized with him. From what she knew about Theresa, she'd always been stuck up. Not that most of the wealthier Bayview students weren't, but Theresa had always thought she was just a cut above the rest, and it showed in everything she did. "Oh that's right, I remember you two are an "item"."

Nathan cringed, as he rolled back up onto his side again and began mindlessly messing with the zipper on his jacket. "_Were_ actually. Brooke tell you this?"

"As always. She failed to mention your break up though," Haley said with gathered interest, watching Nathan fidget.

"Probably because Theresa hasn't told anybody yet," he offered, deciding to go ahead and take the jacket off. 

"Interesting," she replied, looking very intrigued.

Nathan debated on whether or not he should tell Haley the truth. Deciding he could probably trust her, more than his own friends. "Let's just say that after a _certain_ guy I know decided to transfer back to school here in Bayview. Princess Phillips conveniently began screwing the her father's assistant."

"Ooh how Scandalous," Haley said earnestly, putting up a hand to her face in mock alarm, before letting out a fit of giggles.

Nathan watched her and laugh, and within seconds joined in as well, shaking his head at the ridiculousness of his entire social group.

 "Whatever, I'm sick of her drama. I'm done with all of it."

"I know what you mean," Haley added.

"Do you," Nathan asked with a curious grin.

"Yes I do. I may not look like it, but under this smart girl exterior is quite the party girl," she crossed her arms with assurance.

"I bet," he answered sarcastically, giving her the once over with a cocky glance.

Haley gave him an annoyed glare, and let out a groan. "Ya know, everyone keeps saying that I don't know how to have fun, or be wild and crazy. But I do. I'm just waiting for a good opportunity."

Nathan's eyebrow quirked up. "Like being stuck _alone_, in a basement. _Alone_, with a complete stranger. Hours of free time to do with what you may," he through out, his eyes lowered, as he leaned closer to Haley on the rug.

Haley watched him, but chose not to move, "You're not a stranger Nathan."

"I can, if you want me to be," he proposed, sliding closer her to this time, eyes locked on hers.

Haley's breathing grew deeper, as Nathan's voice seemed to lull her in. "What are you suggesting," she asked, all to aware that this current situation between them was not going anywhere good. Not anywhere she wouldn't regret later on.

Nathan leaned forward, his eyes upward as Haley's body stilled, waiting for his move.

"Hey look at that top shelf up there, I think it has food on it," he uttered. Haley's closed eyes broke open, just in time to see Nathan getting up off the rug. Instead of the kiss she'd been expecting, maybe even somewhat anticipating, she now found herself, staring at the back of his head as he tried to reaching for what ever it was he'd seen.

Her heart hit the floor.

Haley decided then and there it would go against everything in her belief system to have Nathan catch her panting, and in lust. So she gathered her self up, and put a serous mask over her face. "What's up there." She asked, moving next to him.

The top shelf was just out of reach from Nathan's grasp, and with one more urgent stretch he let angrily let his arm fall to his side.

"Cans of food I think, maybe, it doesn't matter I can't reach it."

"I can."

"How?"

"Just watch," she moved to the front of the rack and swiftly grabbed onto the pillars. She pulled herself up quickly on the second shelf, and then the third. On her tip toes she leaned onto the shelf, and looked at grouping of cans that lay in front of her. She picked one up and inspected it.

"What is it," Nathan asked.

"Tomato soup and....................Spam. Expiration date March 15th.............," she showed the can to him.

"Well that's not so bad."

".........1997," she finished, putting it back on the shelf quickly.

"Oh Well who eats Spam anyway. It's probably radio active or something," he said, his stomach letting out another audible growl.

Haley nodded in agreement and tired to lower herself down, but found her pant leg stuck on the metal pillar. 

Nathan meanwhile, went back to the rug to lay back down. Haley still struggling behind him with growing frustration. Finally she let out an irritated sigh.

"Hey, _stranger_, wanna help me get down," she called to him.

Nathan flipped his head back an gave her a naughty smirk. "Whatcha gonna do for me?"

"Not throw these cans at your head," she smiled back sweetly, still trying to unhook her pants.

"What kind of deal is that? Come on James, you can think of something better than can throwing."

"I never said which head I would throw them at," she said, biting her lower lip with innocence.  While still holding on to the shelving unit.

Nathan made an instinctual move to cover his family jewels, and gave Haley a painful look. "Alright," he started to forward, "give me your hand."

At that moment Haley gave one final tug to her pants, pulling her leg free and also swinging her body forward. Unfortunately due to the lack of strength of the shelves, and her unsteady balance, Haley found herself losing her grip on the pillar.

Desperately she tried to get her grasp back, but it was to late, she was already falling. Nathan saw her propelling to the ground, and leapt forward, capturing her in his arms with a quick swoop. This action causing him to lose his footing and fall backward to the ground, Haley's body securely in his arms.

With a loud 'whoompf,' once they landed on the floor, Nathan let out a exasperated gasp, and looked up into Haley's eyes.

"You ok," he asked out of breath

"Yeah. You," she replied, concern written on her face.

"I'm good," he answered, allowing his head to fall back, and rest on the ground.

Haley let out a relived sigh, only noticing then the position they were both in. Her body on top of his. His arms wrapped safely, comfortably around her waist as they lay pressed up against each other, neither of them in a hurry to move.

And then, Haley got that feeling again. That feeling where part of her was screaming how wrong this was, how horrible of a person Nathan really is, how she'd regret anything she'd did with him. The other part of her however, the little devil on her shoulder, whispered for her to go ahead. Do what she really wanted. Use him for all he was worth. He was Nathan 'fucking' Scott for Christ sakes, if there was anyone due to getting a taste of their own medicine it was definitely Nathan.  And Haley knew she wanted to be the one to teach him that lesson.

"Nathan," she regarded him tentatively.

"Yeah," he asked, tilting his head up to look at her.

"Earlier, when we were talking where you going to .....I mean.......did you.... maybe want to kiss me," Haley asked, her last  words spurting out of her mouth so impulsively, she wasn't sure where she'd gotten the courage from.

Nathan looked up at her a little surprised, a growing grin on his face. "Did you want me to kiss you," he through back at her.

Haley suddenly felt awkward, her cheeks becoming red and flushed. She didn't have an intelligent answer to that question.  Didn't think she could come up with one either, not lying above him like she was. Quickly she began to move off of Nathan's body.

However, with a strength and agility that amazed her, he reached up and grabbed her hand, and dragged her back up against him. He encircled her with his arms, and clasped his hands together trapping her.

 She paused, staring into his eyes with doubt. "Nathan....I---"

"I want this Haley." 

Stilling her, Nathan lowered his mouth and kissed her.  And, oh he knew how to kiss. From Katie Roberts to Theresa Phillips, he had no doubt had plenty of practice kissing. His mouth applied a slight suction to hers that sealed them together. His tongue was active but not invasive. It penetrated slowly and deliciously.

Echoing the hungry sounds that vibrated in his throat, Haley kissed him back. The little voice in her head repeating the same mantra from earlier. _He'll only hurt you, Haley. He's only using you _Realizing that she shouldn't be, she angled her head back and away. "Maybe we shouldn't...."

"Shhh." He whispered enticingly into her ear, causing her to moan with pleasure. Nathan let a grin spread over his face. As his searching lips found her neck arched and wanting. Ever so slowly he trailed a line of feather soft kisses down her neck, until he reached the top of her chest. 

Haley complied to his movements eagerly, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him close, her nails tracing lightly over his spine, sending shivers all up and down his body. Her fingers twining through his hair, gently massaging the knots in his neck and stroking the chocolate dark locks of his hair.

Nathan moved back and forth over her body, touching her, tasting her all over. His hands now actively pulling her blouse up and off, and he rose away from her delightful touch to do so. 

Haley was panting, her lips were starting to feel numb and she felt as if she were coming apart. There was this visceral sensation of uncoiling or unraveling. For a brief moment she was terrified. Terrified of making the wrong choice, making the right choice, not knowing the difference between the two. Because when he touched her, when he looked into her eyes like he was in this moment, she no longer cared what was right or wrong any more.

Noticing her expression Nathan hesitated and pulled slightly away from her. "Haley do you want me to stop?"

This was the point of no return. The second where everything would change.

"No," she said confidently a instant later, eyes filled with desire.

A smile twitched at the corner of his lips, but his touch was compassionate and tender when he reached up and stroked her cheek. "You sure?"

"Yes." she assured him, then bringing her shirt up and overhead the rest of the way.  Both of their clothing seeming like to much of a barrier between them.

Hurriedly they began shedding their shirts, their pants, everything keeping them apart, until they lay naked together.

The awkwardness of the moment cut short when Nathan drew Haley down for a long kiss. His tongue made repeated forays into her mouth while his hands caressed her breasts, her back, her legs. She responded to every subtle suggestion he whispered, until without any further pain and a great deal of sensation and joy, he was fully nestled inside her body.

He continued to coach her. A soft touch, a guiding hand, a whispered endearment. Loveplay, erotic and exciting. Until it became uncertain who was saying what to whom.

The foundations of their worlds began to quake, then break apart. They clung to each other. He cried her name. She chanted his.

Replete, totally drained of energy, she collapsed on top of him. Her limbs so weak she couldn't move them. Her skin was damp with perspiration. His hands continued to idly strum her back, and arms, but all she could do in reaction was smile complacently against his shoulder. And together, the earth slowly began to slip away into darkness, enrapturing them both in a warm cocoon of slumber.


	9. Reality Check

The feedback for this story has been wonderful, and I really owe you guys a huge bundle of thanks. Your comments keep this thing alive. Keep me in the right frame of mind to continue on. So THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!

TOXIC

Chapter 9

Reality Check

6:05 pm......

**Simon Reynolds was not having** a good night. Hadn't had a really good night in fact, in a long while. Mostly he figured, because he spent the majority of his time in this damn club of his. With a slow ease he slipped into the pitch black house of the club. He switched the main lights on, immediately activating the fluttering sparkles on the disco ball on the empty dance floor. It felt odd being the only one around. Seeing everything so empty and barren. He still hadn't gotten use to opening by himself, figured he'd make Dexter do it from now on.

With a hefty sigh, Simon began his usual routine. He checked what needed to be cleaned, what arrangement the tables should be put in, what areas should be assigned to what waitress. However tonight for some reason, he felt the need to check the bar first.

Squatting down below the counter he checked in front of, and behind him, and discovered they were almost entirely out of Vodka, and few of the beers. With a grumpy scowl, Simon pushed himself up to stand, and tried to grab for the basement keys, under the counter. He didn't feel anything, and bent over again. 

They weren't there. 

Strange.

He went to the opposite end of the club, up into his office and grabbed his personal pair.

Reluctantly he made his way down to the basement, silently listing off the numerous other things he had to get done, before the club opened. He could already feel the stress begin to build up inside of his head. A small twitch in his left eye, causing him to blink a couple times, in a vain effort to be rid of it.

Coming off of the stairs, Simon moved forward, and felt himself trip over something heavy. Balancing himself, before he completely fell over, he whipped out the small flashlight key-chain connected to his other keys and brought it up over the offending object.

It appeared to be a half empty box of Bacardi, which was very peculiar, seeing as 1) the spare set of keys were missing from the bar, and 2) almost an entire case of alcohol just lay open and unattended.

Warily, Simon checked behind and in the other the storage room, unsure of who or what was possibly in his club. When he didn't find anything, he returned to the locked door. Pulling the key he needed and setting it in the lock.

He heard the click of the lock come undone as he pulled up on the silver door handle, and slowly pulled the door open.

At first nothing seemed out of the ordinary. The dark curves of the room appeared untouched. It was only when Simon lowered his flash light that he saw the two still bodies before him.

Tangled limbs covering each other over a Persian rug. Their breaths heavy and shallow, as they slept.

Stunned, all Simon could do was stare at them.

Finally he regained enough composure to do the most effective thing he could think of, which was to yell. "What the _HELL_ is this," he bellowed with anger.

Haley suddenly jerked awake, turning her head to look at the intruder, her eyes fuzzy , her mind disoriented from being woken.

She made an incoherent mumble, as Nathan's body began to stir. And with a hazy picture in front of her,  he gazed up at the large figure standing before her.

"James! Mind telling me what the fuck you're doing," her boss roared, his face a mixture of confusion and anger.

Unsure of what to say, and still a little preoccupied with how cute Nathan looked post-sex, mussed hair and all, she took in a quick breath of air. Pulled her clothes up to cover her body. 

"Simon I uh...I can explain. It's---this is not what it looks like," she said, quickly fixing herself. Simon averted his eyes, the indignation still in his voice as he spoke.

"Really? Cause it looks like you just finished fornicating in _my_ basement. Why or what for I don't know," he rambled on.

Haley glanced over at Nathan, as he too began gathering his clothes, making himself as busy as possible. All Haley wanted to do was talk to him, ask him what he was thinking.

"Ok, it is what it looks like,"she agreed. "But it's not what you think."

"So what exactly am I thinking James. Please tell me, I'd love to know."

Haley adjusted her shirt in place, and then her skirt. She went up to Simon, with a pleading face. "We got locked down here last night by accident, and–and....."

"And you what? Decided to Christen my storage room in the mean time," he rubbed a hand over his head in frustration. His face rough as stone.

Simon had never been an overly emotional kind of man, at least not in the year Haley had come to know him. Straight to the point, all about business, that was him.  Which was why Haley found this sudden outburst at this whole debacle (not her doing by the way) a little bit confusing. More than likely, she assumed that his sudden crankiness had seldom to do with her or Nathan. However that didn't give her permission to piss him off anymore than was necessary. Yes groveling sounded like a good plan. Lots and lots of groveling.

Haley swallowed hard. "It was mistake Simon. I'm sorry. I really am.  Anything you want me to do I'll do it. Just please don't fire me. I need this job. And it was just accident I swear to God. Neither of us meant for it to happen." _And yet you still let it happen Haley. _Her inner voice screamed at her. She shook the thought away, and concentrated on her boss.

Simon bent his neck to the side to crack it, letting the tension out for the moment. He sucked in a breath of air, and exhaled it quickly, giving her a resigned expression. "You know what James, I'm too damn tired to care about this right now. Go home, get some real sleep. Be back here tomorrow at six. And the next time that boyfriend of yours comes inside my club, keep him out of the restricted areas. Got it?"

Haley felt as if a thousand pound weight had been lifted from her shoulders. With happy glee, she smiled."Yeah--yeah of course Simon, we promise, right Nath---,"she began. 

Her words faltering when she spun around and noticed that there were no longer three occupants in the room. Suddenly her breath caught in her throat.  And that thousand pound weight turned into a thousand pound sledge hammer slamming right into her chest.

Quickly Haley gave her thanks again to her boss for his mysterious leniency on the entire matter, and jetted up the stairs through the club and out the door.

Once outside she scanned the parking lot for any cars, any people, anything that would let her know that yes, he was still here. That he hadn't left without saying goodbye. That he'd actually been waiting up here for her. That there time together wasn't just another game.

But there was nothing.

And so she began to trudge through the parking lot, and onto to the sidewalk that would lead her home. 

Her earlier thoughts began to resurface, leaving her mind uncontrollably full. _What did I tell you? I said he'd use you and he did. Just like he does with everything else._

"Maybe it's different this time,"she argued with herself, the mental battle doing nothing to ease the fresh raw pain inside of her aching heart.

.................

**Lucas sat in the bigger** of the two family rooms, in his parents house. Casually flipping channels on the large screen t.v. He glanced up at the clock when he heard heavy footsteps come through the room behind him. The sound of pant legs swishing together as the intruder walked.

Swiftly Lucas turned his head to see the ragged figure of his younger brother come in through the door way. His clothes wrinkled, his hair fuzzy, his eyes saggy.

"Where you been," he called to Nathan, with mild interest.

The brunette never broke his stride as he went passed Lucas and into the hall that led to his room.

"Nowhere," Nathan clipped out, trying to ignore the presence of his brother with extreme determination.

Lucas just shook off his indifference with a grin. "Nowhere huh? Well it certainly doesn't look like you were nowhere," he surveyed his younger brother's appearance with amusement, then raising his hand and waving in front of his nose with a bigger smirk, "And it really doesn't smell like you were nowhere."

"Piss off Luke," Nathan grumbled, pushing through his closed door, and into his bed room. He tried ignoring Lucas's footsteps as they entered behind him, too preoccupied with getting into bed. He needed sleep. He needed to sleep for a long time.

Lucas's curiosity wasn't anywhere near satisfied though. "Come on man. Tell me. Who was she? And please don't say it was Theresa, I know she's hot and everything, but issues, man. Major issues there."

"It's no one, alright. Now get out," Nathan's yells were muffled, while his head was face down on his pillow.

 "Fine. If that'll help get that bug out of your ass. But I bet you twenty bucks you'll be begging to tell me about it later."

"Ready to lose twenty bucks?"

"Whatever you say little brother. Whatever you say."

Lucas stood watching for a few more seconds, realizing the stubborn side of Nathan was out and roaring. No way was he going to get any information out of him this way. He was more than likely defeated for moment.

Relinquishing his brotherly duty to bother Nathan at all costs, Lucas began to retreat from Nathan's room, pausing in front of his door way. 

"Hey Nate?"

"What," he asked dryly.

"Some of the crew are coming over to party in an hour, and their bringing some people from upstate with them. Better get cleaned up. We wouldn't want you smelling like sex when the guests come over," Lucas finished with a wild grin, closing Nathan's door before strutting down the hall.

Nathan groaned into his pillow, not really caring to or even wanting to deal with the idiocy of his socialite friends. And knowing he had to, despite that. With a more effort than he thought he'd ever mustered, he pulled himself back up off his king sized bed, and trudged into his adjoining bathroom. Slamming the door behind as hard as he could in protest.

.....................

**The walk back to the** apartment had been long. Not because she was tired. Which she was. Not because she was hungry. Which she really was. No, the walk had been excruciatingly long because all she had to think of was _him_.

A million thoughts ran through Haley's head on her way home. Some justifying her actions, some damning them. And others just contemplating why in the_ Hell_ did he leave without even saying goodbye.

Logically Haley knew that her indiscretion, as some may call it, was not by any means a form of commitment. Shit, she hadn't even really known Nathan until last night. Maybe she still didn't. She did know however, that in some way or form, in that basement they had connected . Something had clicked. And as strange as the thought of her and Nathan clicking sounded, it was true.

What amazed her the most, was that she didn't find it all that surprising. If someone had told her two days ago, that she would have been talking to Nathan Scott, enjoying his company, like a regular human being, she would have told them to go jump off a cliff. If someone had told her two days ago that she would have spent one of the best nights of her life in the arms of her most revered enemy, she would have told them they were fucking insane.

And yet here she was. Feeling empty and cold without him. 

Life really felt like a huge joke sometimes.

Haley ran the thought through her head again. _Here I am._ She figured she should feel something, anything. But in actuality, it was numbness of _nothing_ that seemed to dominate her emotions. Unhurriedly she slipped her key in the lock of her apartment door, discovering it was already unlocked. Before she even made it three steps in, Brooke and Peyton came running towards her at warp speed.

"Oh my holy God. Where were you?," Peyton questioned her, right beside Brooke.

"Are you ok? Are you hurt? Because you didn't call, and we left the club before you left, and we figured you'd be right behind us, but then you weren't and—I'm really sorry. Are you ok," Brooke rattled off her questions in rapt succession.

"I'm fine."

"We were seriously freaking out Haley, are you sure your ok," Brooke asked her more softly this time.

Haley nodded dumbly and then took a step back from the interrogation of her friends, and sucked in a breath of air. Looking at them with little emotion, before she tried to brush passed them to get further into the apartment.

Brooke and Peyton watched her. Giving each other a confused and bewildered looks. Brooke silently mouthing 'What was that?' Peyton answering with a silent 'I don't know.'

Haley meanwhile went it into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water before heading to her room. Brooke cutting her off at the door, so that she couldn't enter.

"So," Brooke asked Haley eagerly, her eyebrow quirked as she tapped her nails on the door frame persistently.

"So...what?"

"So...where the hell were you for the last 24 hours. Me and Peyton here would really like to know, wouldn't we Peyton."

"Seeing as we spent the first 12 of the 24 hours scouring the entire campus for you. And the rest, spending all our money calling your cellphone, yes, I think we do deserve to know," Peyotn added with a heavy nod.

Haley glanced at the ground, and then to Peyton's feet, noticing the black and pink converse tennis shoes she wore. 

How did she tell them what happened to her? How did she explain Nathan? And to Brooke of all people. There was no way she could handle that now.  No way.

"It's a gigantically long story, with an even more confusing ending. So if you don't mind, I'm gonna go take a shower, fall into bed, and you two can gossip all about it after I'm asleep."

Brooke's eyes widened. "Nothing? That's it? We go an entire day having trauma inducing panic attacks, thinking you were abducted by some alien rapists, and we don't even get an explanation?"

"Nope," Haley affirmed.

"Seriously," Peyton asked, giving Haley that sisterly expression. The one that made it almost impossible for her to refuse, because it was so comforting. She knew it was only a diversionary tactic to break her and make her spill. She was going to be strong. Now was not the time to tell them what happened.

"Totally and completely," Haley answered.

Brooke let out an exasperated sigh. "Ugh.....fine. Be off. We have no use for you, until your ready to do some major spillage girlfriend."

"Thanks for your concern," Haley replied.

"Oh, you have no idea," said Brooke, pushing her into her room, towards her bed.

Haley let herself be shoved forward, watching as her friends closed her door, leaving her in the darkness of her room. Letting the quiet seep into her brain as she sighed. If there was one thing she'd learned about those two girls in the past six years, it was that they always managed to find out everything about her and each other.

 _Everything._  

Haley might have won the battle to keep her night with Nathan a secret. But there was no way she was going to win this war.


	10. I Go Back

A/N: Thanks for all the great feedback guys. I know things might be looking a little bleak now, but they'll get better I swear. Don't forget to keep telling me what you think!! And now on with the reading……

TOXIC

Chapter 10

I Go Back

**Peyton skimmed through a pile** of cd's as she stood inside of _Red Cult_, their town's pathetic version of a real underground record store. Most of the time Peyton considered _Red Cult_ a music haven when compared to the million's of Sam Goodies and Virgin Records that roamed the Earth. Today, however, she wasn't coming across anything that peaked her interest.

She traveled a little further down the rows of scattered selections. The different genre's that were mixed together, only easily detectable to the trained eye.

Stopping when she saw a cover that intrigued her, Peyton flipped the cd over and began reading the song tracks on the back.

"Didn't figure you for a techno fan." 

She heard a deep soft voice say.

Peyton's head shot up to see one Jake Jakelski standing on the other side of the waste high cd racks. A calm smile on his face.

"I like to mix it up every now and then," she smiled back at him.

"Is that right," he asked, thumbing through the music on his side.

"When the mood suits me. What have you got so far?"

Jake held up the cd he'd been holding for her too look at in clear view.

"Chingy?"

"Yep."

"Rap. Now why am I not surprised," she teased with a grin.

Jake watched Peyton's face light up as she smiled, forcing him to do the same. A nervous knot forming in his stomach. "So there's this thing tonight," he began, a little more shy this time. His eyes plastered to the plastic jewel case of his cd.

"Ok," Peyton said, watching him with interest.

"It's this party at Nathan's and Lucas's house. It should be pretty wild," he continued, finally looking up at her.

"And you wanna know if I'll come," she questioned, making eye contact finally, her demeanor more flirtatious than she intended for it to be.

Jake made another nervous attempt to smile. "It could be fun....if you're there."

Fun wasn't the exact word Peyton would have used to describe a Scott party. At least not the ones she remembered attending.  And inwardly she began debating whether or not she was ready to enter back into that world. Yes, at one time her and Brooke and even Theresa and Kelly had been at the top of that group. They'd been in every club, gone to every dance, cheered at every game. But the older they got, the more money had begun to divide them. Because unlike Theresa, Kelly, and the Scott Clan, Brooke and Peyton had never been rich.

The point made all to abundantly clear, when it came time to choose colleges. And that's when her and Brooke had decided to break away.

It was more of a choice, than an option being forced upon them. So they took the opportunity to be free of that group, and ran with it. The last two years spent creating their own new relationships. With Haley and others. Ones not built on money or prestige, or social standing.

Now that she'd had a chance to see the other side was she ready to step back into the madness?

Something about Jake's smiling face told her she could at least give it a try.

"What time should we be there?"

........................

"**I'll pass," Haley told her** two anxious friends. Their faces turning into identical twin frowns at her unenthusiastic response, to her invitation.

"What? Why," Peyton cried, following Haley as she went back and forth from the living room to the kitchen putting the dirty dishes in the dishwasher.

"Because a Scott Brother's party sounds a little too crazy for my taste," she said, while trying to keep busy, under their scrutiny. Trying to do everything in her power not let them see the guilty vibe she was sure was radiating off of her.

"Lucas will be there too," Peyton offered, offhand. And Haley felt confused.

"Yeah? And?"

"And we saw you two lovebirds chatting it up at the bar the other night," Brooke said jokingly, watching Peyton follow Haley around the room, as she herself, sat comfortably on the living room sofa.

"Me and Lucas are friends. We always will be. That doesn't mean I want to go to this drunken, drugged out, sex orgy you keep referring to as a party," Haley declared, a handful of glasses in her arms.

"That only happened once, " Brooke waved her off with a laugh, "And besides we're all of age to drink now, so the cops aren't even an issue. Technically."

"Why does that information not fill me with relief?"

"Because you're too uptight?"

"Where as you on the other hand are nice and loose, so I here," she snapped back at her. 

Brooke mocked hurt, and Haley rolled her eyes looking back to Peyton

"I'm not going alright. Just go by yourselves. You don't need me there anyway. I know the only reason you're going is too see Jake."

Peyton's mouth flew open, "THAT IS NOT .............ok, well maybe just a little. But still Hales, come on, it'll be good to see some old friends," she suggested.

"You forget, oh friend of mine.  That I hated these people in high-school. With a fiery passion. Not really up for rekindling past "relationships"."

"It won't be that bad Haley."

"Yes it will."

"You might have fun."

"I doubt it," she countered.

Brooke cut in before Peyton and Haley could continue the debate, her voice soft and calm. "Both of you shut-up and listen," She yelled looking pointedly to her friend. "Haley if you go there tonight, and show them how much you kick ass. How awesome you really are, their not going to have any option but to fall in line. I mean, ok, so yeah you didn't like them, nobody did. Not even me and Peyton. But maybe, just maybe they've changed too. Everyone deserves second chances right? And this way, you can show up on your own terms. You come and leave whenever you want. No job to keep you trapped."

Haley looked over at Brooke, ready to laugh out loud at the irony of her statement. Deciding now wasn't a good time. "Brooke I....."

"Nope, no buts. You're going with us tonight, end of story. You're going and you're gonna look hot, and we're all gonna have a good time. Understand," Brooke stated, her face full of resolve.

It's not so much that Haley couldn't continue to fight the matter, because she could. When she wanted Haley James could be the most stubborn person you ever met. The thing was, she had never been to one of Nathan's party's. Not even when her and Lucas had dated. They'd both agreed to keep that part of their relationship separate from his friends and family. And so she was curious to see what it would be like.  Even more so, she wanted to see Nathan. Needed to see Nathan.

Putting the rest of the glasses down in the kitchen counter, Haley opened the dishwasher, leaning down to put in the remaining dirty dishes.

"When do we leave," she finally surrendered.

Brooke and Peyton looked at each other with wide feline smiles. The word _Victory_, definitely coming to mind.


	11. Crash

A/N: Totally awesome reviews guys. Thanks for all the great support so far. I hope I'm doing this story justice. Keep up the wonderful feedback. It really helps me whenever I get those spontaneous spurts of writer's block!

TOXIC

Chapter 11

Crash.......

**The party was already in** full throttle by the time the three girls waltzed into the Scott abode. Small and large groups of people scattered all over the house, on the balcony, and out in the large incased back-porch. A soft glow, lighting each and every room, bottles of alcohol in every patrons hand.

Haley cringed at how cliche this entire scene felt, and looked. She briefly wondered if rich kids like the Scott's, created party's which movies based them off of, or if they based their party's on watching too many movies. She didn't have time to ponder that thought, however, before Jake caught up with them in foyer.

"Hey Peyton, Brooke, Haley," he said greeting each of them individually with his ever present charm.

Brooke and Haley gave him warm smiles, as Peyton said, "Hi."

He then ushered them down one of the lengthy hallways, amidst all of the different people, coming to a stop in front of the kitchen.

"You girls want anything to drink? It's all on the house, so to speak," Jake laughed.

They accepted the drinks he offered from the variety of beverages available. Hundreds of bottles, cans, and cups aligned on top of every open surface, before them.

When they were done they then proceeded to follow Jake, until he came to a more subdued part of the house away from the other commotion.

As they walked into what Haley could only describe as some kind of private study, adorned with plush leather couches, she suddenly felt the urge to turn around and run.

Here they all were. Together again. Haley feeling insecure and 16 all over again. Wanting more than anything to hurt Brooke, for making her wear the rather skimpy black top, and form fitting jeans, which hugged her body.

Everyone in the room, looked over and stared as Haley and them entered the room.

"Well look who the cat finally decided to drag in. I knew it was only a matter of time before you showed your faces around here," Theresa snipped out bitchily, from her place on the couch next to Nathan. "Oh and look, you brought Tutor girl with you as well."

"Retract your claws Theresa, were not here to fight," Brooke responded to her, with a curt smile, entering the room as if she owned it all.

Peyton and Jake followed suit, leaving Haley to stand inside the doorway alone. Her eyes locked on the back of Nathan's head.

"You gonna stay there all night," Lucas called from his seat, a couple minutes later.

"Was thinking about it," she said with a nervous laugh.

"Here come sit, join the festivities," he offered comfortingly, and Nathan broke his eyes away from the window he was staring out to look at her.

Haley obeyed his request, sinking down into the corner of one of the two sofa's that occupied the room. She watched the interaction among everyone, with mild interest. Unable to keep her eyes, from flitting back to Nathan, every now and then. Wondering what the Hell was going on in his head.

He'd yet to saying anything to anybody since her and the other's had entered the room. She didn't know if he was purposefully ignoring her, or just didn't know what to say. God knew, she was lacking in the word department at the moment as well.

Taking a drink if her beer, Haley glanced around the room once more, her eyes stopping on the tan blonde that was currently staring at her with a look of pure disdain.

"So what do you do," Kelly asked her with ridicule, a hint of jealousy in her eyes.

"Excuse me?"

"It is Haley isn't it?" 

She nodded. 

"So what do you do, other than tag along to parties you weren't invited to, I mean.

Haley glanced over at Brooke and Peyton who had overheard the remark and were ready to step in. She gave them an 'ok' look, turning back to Kelly sharply.

"I go to school, have my job at the club."  She responded lightly.

"The club? You mean Ecstacy right?"

"Yes."

"How's that working out for you?"

"Just......just great."

"You've probably worked at places like that a lot right?. People like you usually do."

The nerve of this girl was infuriating. What had she done or said to cause such hatred? She'd only been in the room for a total of 15 minutes.

Basically Haley hated confrontation. Avoided it at all costs if necessary. It just never was her thing. Why argue, fight about something when you can solve it with rational words. But something told her that the way these people lived, the way they worked, being logical and rational just wouldn't cut it in this world. She'd have to save herself or be eaten by sharks. Survival of the fittest was the game. And this chick was going down in flames.

"Where as people like you **don't**. I bet you've never had job. You do know what a job is though, right? It's that thing that you do, when you go to a place of employment-- work, and get compensated for it. So that you don't have to live off your Daddy, like a spoiled brat."

"Of course you would know all about that wouldn't you. I'm sure your Daddy just loves cleaning toilets for a living. And so will you," Theresa smiled sweetly.

Haley gave her a murderous glare. Ready to respond, before she was cut off by Kelly. "Yes, please tell us new girl, how is it that your father can afford to send you to a school like Bayview State. Is it the hours he spends sweeping the carpet of _my_ father's law firm? Or in between breaks while he's cleaning the dirt out from his nails?"

Haley wanted to defend her father. Wanted to say something, so that they knew she didn't think of him being a janitor as anything shameful, because to her it wasn't. But no words would come. 

Theresa and Kelly continued to laugh to themselves, while everyone else watched. Haley move to leave.

"Oh don't go," Kelly falsely pleaded to her. "It's so much fun catching up with you."

"Screw you," Haley through back before fleeing the room quickly. Peyton and Brooke right on her tail, and Jake following after them

The two girls giggled wickedly as the others retreated. "Oh I think she's going to cry," Theresa mocked.

"Maybe we should go check," Kelly responded, causing her and some of the other boys to break out into laughter.

And making Nathan finally push up off his seat on the couch, breaking loose of Theresa's grip. She looked up at him, still laughing as he gave her a irritated face. 

"What!," she said defensively.

"That was fucking lame alright. Get a life."

"Oh that's rich, you defending the poor girl now."

"She's not poor. You're just a Bitch."

"Oooh Burn," Vegas called, him and Tim cracking into fits of laughter again.

"Shut up asshole," Theresa screamed at them.

Nathan cast the entire room and annoyed face, before heading to leave, glancing down at Lucas's silent figure in the corner of the room. Shaking his head in frustration.

......................... 

**"Haley wait up," Peyton called**, from the down the hall, Haley almost half way to the door.

She spun around, her face and body rigid. "Do not ask me stay."

"I wasn't going to. I just wanted to see if you were ok.  I think Theresa and Kelly officially win for Bitch of the year now" she said trying to comfort her friend.

"Now Damn it, I wanted that titled," Brooke whined jokingly, coming up beside the two of them, and running a hand over Haley's hair soothingly.

Haley cracked a small smile, and looked down at her watch. "Well I made it a whole twenty minutes before running. You should both be proud," she said.

"You want a medal," Brooke asked.

"If you're handing them out."

"You guys go on ahead, I just want to say bye to Jake first," Peyton added, turning around to were he stood watching them a few feet away.

Haley took a deep breath, and tried to calm her nerves. Her eyes boring holes into the ground.

"Ready," Brooke looked at her expectantly.

"Let me go to the bathroom first, ok?"

"Yeah. I think it's that way, if my memory serves me," Brooke pointed down another hallway.

Haley nodded, and went forward. Exiting the bathroom a few minutes later, she tired to remember which way it was that she'd actually gotten there. Taking a turn to her left, she walked through a door that seemed similar to what led her to the foyer. Instead finding herself inside of a kitchen. A smaller one this time. Empty.

Making her way through it, Haley paused when she noticed someone come through the opposite door. 

Nathan's face staring back at her.

Their eyes locked for an instant and then they broke away. Neither one speaking for a moment.

"I was just leaving," Haley finally broke the silence.

"You don't have to," He responded, casually.

"Do you want me to stay?"

"Sure. More the merrier, right," he gave her a half smile, and then headed to the fridge.

Haley quietly watched him. "So this........... is awkward."

"I guess ," he said, his eyes searching the refrigerator.

It seemed like he stood there staring in front of him for an eternity. She wondered why he seemed so calm. 

Her mind full of questions, only her mouth wasn't being as cooperative. She followed his body, as he began taking a couple drinks from the fridge and setting them on the counter beside him. Minutes passed, and neither of them spoke.

"Well it was really fun talking to you. But I think I'm gonna go now," Haley finally got out, heading to the door Nathan had come through.

It was then that she felt a strong hand grab her by the elbow, and turn her around. Nathan only inches from her face.

"Wait," he whispered softly.

"Why? So you can be the first to leave again," she retorted bluntly, not sounding half as intimidating as she meant to.

Nathan smiled at her, and looked away mildly ashamed. "About that......... I'm.........I'm sorry."

Haley's eyes widened. Her mouth dropped open. "Oh. My. God."

"What?"

"Did–did Nathan Scott just apologize to me?" She looked around the room to see if anyone else had witnessed this event. "I think Hell might have just frozen over."

Nathan gave her a fake grin. "Ha ha you're funny."

"I don't think your friends would so much agree with you on that," she slightly smiled. "Are they always so....."

"What? Snobby?"

"I was gonna go with evil, but yeah snobby works too."

"I don't know," Nathan sighed, grabbing a strand of Haley's loose hair, and tucking it behind her ear. Unconscious of what he was doing, while she looked at him. "Might be the holidays. Nobody really wants to deal with their families, you know."

"If that's their excuse," Haley replied. " Anyways, I should probably go. Brooke and Peyton are waiting for me."

"Right, of course," Nathan said staring down at her, not moving.

"So I'll see you later," Haley responded, unable to move herself.

Nathan leaned down his eyes zoning inn o n hers. The striking blue ocean inside of them making powerless to leave, " Yeah, see you around," he whispered huskily.

Before either of them had a chance to say another word Nathan quickly crushed his mouth to hers in a fervent kiss.

In turn Haley pushed herself up into his embrace, their tongues battling together. As they melted into each others arms. Nathan caressing the side of her face, as she rubbed her hand along the strong muscles of his back. At last breaking away to catch her breath, Haley's eyes, sought out and captured Nathan's. Everything around them pausing for a moment as they watched each other in silent contemplation.

 It was when Nathan finally broke that contact, that they heard the sound of a familiar voice.

"Holy shit" Theresa cried from the open doorway across the room.

Haley and Nathan broke away from one another, and looked forward at the veritable fumes rising off of Theresa's stagnant form.

"Please tell me this is not what I think it is Nathan. Please tell me you're not standing here trying to get into Tutor girl's pants. That's so cute I might just puke."

"Oh, cause you and the Pool boy were just a match made in heaven, right," he countered with revulsion.

"Jealousy is an ugly, ugly color for you darling. Sorry, but I don't think green suits you well."

"Kiss my ass."

"No thanks. I'll leave that to Tim and Vegas, if you don't mind," she gave him a sickly sweet smile.

Nathan shook his head disgusted, noticing how uncomfortable Haley was beside him. "You done? Cause I'm ready to go now"

Theresa's eyes flickered with a moment of pain. It didn't last long though before she resumed her regular visage. This time her expression towards him more demeaning. "What are you doing Nathan," she asked him, while blatantly watching her competition.

Nathan glanced down at Haley, and then to Theresa. "Nothing. It's none of your business. What _I _door_ don't _do is none of your business, actually," he said defiantly.

"Is that right," she yelled.

"Sure is," he hollered back.

"Well you certainly acted like you were my business when I was in your room last night," she finally pulled out her last ditch effort to destroy whatever she could. Her plan appearing to have worked, as she saw Haley's eyes grow wide at Nathan's guilty face.

No one was able to react to her statement however, because in that second Brooke walked in through the door behind Haley and Nathan, her eyes searching everybody, almost as if she'd just stepped into some kind of war-zone. 

She grabbed Haley's arm, and turned her around.

"Let's go."

Haley tried to search Nathan's eyes one lat time.. But he kept his attention focused in front of him. 

Brooke observed as Haley looked from Nathan and then back to her giving her a nod of recognition. Brooke then let her friend lead them both out the door and away from whatever monstrous fight she assumed they both just unintentionally walked into.

 However watching the petite brunette more closely out of the corner of her eye, as they left, Brooke had the sneaking suspicion that her friend hadn't wandered into that argument by accident. And tomorrow she was fully prepared to find out why.


	12. And Burn

A/N: Okay I know I promised lots of updates, and I didn't totally fulfill my part of the bargin. * Ducks from flying tomatoes.* I apologize. Hopefully this writer's block I've been having lately will go away. Everyone cross their fingers! Anyways hope everyone enjoys this chapter, it was not an easy one to write, as I'm sure it won't be easy to read.. :)

TOXIC

Chapter 12

......And Burn

**Sleep hadn't been an easy** thing to accomplish in the last week since everything with Nathan had occurred. Focusing on anything of substance had been a trial really. It was the little things that would remind her of him. Like going grocery shopping, and seeing the frozen pizza isle, or driving by his country club on the way to work. The insignificant things that would sneak up on her, and remind her of their night together. Of how she felt when she was in his arms. The overwhelming sense of being safe, and welcome, something she figured Nathan would be the last person to ever make her feel. Which was why everything inside of her head felt so confusing. 

They lived in two separate worlds.  Undeniably separate. And yet she couldn't stop thinking about him. Couldn't get him out of her mind.

It seemed ridiculous really. To be having these feelings for someone who was so distinctly her opposite in every way. And yet the more Haley thought about it, the more she wanted to take this risk with him. Maybe Brooke was right. Maybe she should just be wild and crazy for once, take a chance. Take that chance with Nathan.

On the flip side though, was reality. How did one go about telling a guy you hardly knew, had recently hated, and very obviously slept with, that you wanted to try dating? Or more even?  Haley didn't have the first clue. And the more she let that thought swim around inside her brain, the more she lost the guts to even think about asking him. For fear he wouldn't feel the same way about her.

Fear was one of the leading factors in her life as of the moment. It controlled almost every decision she made. In retrospect, she knew this was a horrible way to be. Fear only stinted you, it didn't help you grow as person, or lead a better life. It would forever perpetually hold you back. Which made it such a safe place to live. While fear held you back, it also protected you. From rejection, from being vulnerable, from getting hurt. Yet despite, her own fears and all the pro's and con's of their night together, Haley couldn't let one simple thought escape her head.

The Kiss.

She probably could of have chocked the whole basement fiasco up to a one night stand by both parties, if she wanted to be logical about it. Nathan Scott's ladies man reputation was notorious. Even Brooke knew this, and she'd been one of a few that had actually been dubbed his "girlfriend". Nevertheless, somewhere in the pit of her stomach, in the back of her gut, she knew that that night hadn't been just a fluke. It had meant something. To both of them.

And the kiss in his kitchen the night before, the passion she could feel running from him into her was too palpable to ignore. There was something there. There had to be.

As Haley lay in her bed, eyes wide open, covers strewn about, her thoughts still consuming her brain. All probability of falling back into slumber had gone completely out the window.

Leisurely she glanced at her digital clock, the red numbers reading 10:45 am. She knew should get up. Do something productive like go Christmas shopping, or clean the apartment, but it all sounded extremely unappealing. Who wants to do chores on their day off?

So instead of heading to the shower as per usual, Haley pulled a warm blue hooded sweatshirt over her head, and went out into the living room. Vegging in front of the t.v. her plan of action, for current moment And a good plan of action it was, until she noticed the small note taped to the front of the television. She grabbed it , and plopped onto the couch.

_Hales,_

_            My Dad called and asked me to go to breakfast and then Christmas shopping with him. I dragged Brooke along for the torture. We decided not to wake you. Feel lucky. Call us when you're up. And can you get these things from the store if you're out today? Thanks. _

_                                                                        Love ya, _

_                                                                                    Peyton_

Haley picked up the other folded piece of paper within the note and read over the contents on the list. Nothing exciting, just the essentials. Which they needed today unfortunately. The good news was she finally got the distraction she need to get her thoughts away from Nathan, shopping however wasn't going to let her relax.

....................

**Haley hadn't planned on passing** the Bayview Country Club on her way to the store. She had in fact told her self to go the long way round, specifically to avoid seeing any or all traces of him. She needed time to think, or not to think about him as the case may be, and all things having to do with him.

But in her hurry to _not_ think of him, Haley achieved in forgetting to go the opposite direction of the country club. 

So as she ended up passing by the club her first thought was that the guy walking in the front doors looked an awful lot like Nathan. That's what she speculated until she looked again and realized , yes, it actually was him walking inside. And not just her overactive imagination messing with her again.

Her instincts told her to keep moving forward, go to the store and finish her little outing.  What could she possibly say to him right now, that wouldn't sound completely crazy, or idiotic? The entirety of the previous night had been weird. Should she let him know she didn't hold anything against him because of Theresa? Maybe she should ask him what exactly Theresa meant when she made that comment about him. Surmising that there were far too many questions too many things left hanging in the air, Haley did the only thing left to do. She choose not too listen to her instincts.  Like she had been since the moment Nathan had waltzed back into her life.

Turning onto the next corner, Haley pulled into Bayview Country Club's parking lot. She parked her car, and went into the large front doors of the club.

She expected to be questioned, for someone to ask her were her ID was, like a bouncer would. But no one did. No one even noticed Haley's presence in the slightest in fact, which didn't surprise her until she felt a soft tap on her shoulder.

"Haley?"

"Jake, oh , hi, how are you," she sputtered out quickly, feeling like she'd somehow been caught stealing the crown jewels, instead of walking into this federation for the over privileged

"I'm ok."

"That's good."

"Hey, about last night I just wanted to apologize for, ya know, everything that happened," he said, giving her a remorseful smile.

Haley took in a calming breath. "It's not your fault."

"I know, I just....I feel bad. You didn't deserve their attitude," he added.

"Really, it's not your fault. Don't feel bad," she reassured him. She briefly looked around her, to see if she could spot Nathan.

"Are you sure? Cause honestly I really feel like I'm to blame, since I invited you guys and all."

Haley gave him a reassuring smile, "You can't control other people's actions Jake. I know that. Believe me I do."

"Does Peyton," he questioned, with a uncertain visage.

"Yeah, of course she does," Hales replied, a smile quirking up in the corner of her mouth. "Why?"

"Umm...well.......Could you do me a favor," Jake asked, a second later.

"Only if you promise to do one for me."

Jake nodded shyly. "Can you tell Peyton that I'm sorry too. And if she wants, maybe we can try hanging out again soon."

Haley smiled at Jake, and the obvious crush he had on her friend. Thinking how sweet it was that he worried about whether Peyton had fun last night, and even had the decency to apologize for his other friends rude behaviors, Haley made her decision there and then that Jake Jagliegski was alright with her.

"Sure, I'll tell her," Haley said.

"Thanks Haley, I really appreciate it."

"You're welcome.....So can you tell me in what direction Nathan might have gone?"

Jake scratched his head and then pointed to the far left hall. "Nathan? Hmm I think I'm pretty sure I saw him go into the gym not too long ago."

 Haley looked were he had pointed and started to make her way there. Waving back as she left. "Thanks Jake, I'll see ya later ok?"

"Yeah, later," he said, giving her his trade mark head nod.

Haley followed his directions down the hall, to large area incased by glass walls and mirrors. In the very back of the room, where all of the hand weights sat, was Nathan. He was focused and concentrated as he methodically curled the weight up, brought it forward towards his bicep, and then down again, repeating the exercise.

She took a brief breath to calm her nerves.

And then passed through the room quickly, coming to a stop behind him. A smirk on her face as she watched him lift the weight in his hand.. "45 pounds huh? Well now I'm really impressed." 

Nathan turned around from where he sat on the bench and looked up at her with little interest, as he set the weight down, "Well that's me, Mr. Impressive.," he muttered, wiping his face with a nearby towel.

"I don't know if you can actually claim all rights on the word _impressive_. The jury might still be out on that one," Haley said with a light teasing tone.

Nathan gave her a half smile, and stood up from the bench. Disregarding her. His voice in a low monotone. "Maybe so.......What's up Haley?"

She observed his movements as he continued to keep busy, never staying still or looking at her for any length of time. Almost as if he was worried about who would see them together. He acted cut off, distant, different from before. Haley wasn't sure how to respond. 

"So did everything go ok, after we left last night," she finally asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"Well....it just seemed sort of crazy with you and Theresa, I didn't know........"

"It's fine, don't worry about it," he said, stretching his arms, his back turned from her.

Haley glanced around the room, feeling awkward trying to talk to someone who was so mentally far away. She chose instead to be direct, even though her gut screamed at her to just leave him be. 

"I was wondering if we could talk about what happened at the party?"

"What about it?"

Haley bit at her bottom lip, fiercely uncomfortable. Talking to him like this was so difficult, so hard. She had to understand what was going between them though. She needed some kind of answer from him 

"We kissed Nathan. I know that doesn't mean we're a couple or anything, but it does mean something right?"

"I don't know. Does it have to many anything," he stayed still, his words unsteady.

"You tell me," Haley asked expectantly.

 Nathan turned around, letting his arms flap to his sides. He gave her an exasperated glare. Ready to speak, but unsure of what to say. Theresa's words from the previous night still ringing in his ears. Telling him what was for the best.

_Theresa glared at him from across the kitchen. Nathan opposite from her, as they stood alone._

_"It'll never work out with her Nathan. I know that's what you're wondering about, I can see it your eyes. And that's the joke really," she claimed._

_He stared at her, his body stiff. "And what's the catch?"_

_Theresa let out a derivative laugh, "That you want it too."_

_"Whatever," he started to move away, tired of hearing her jealous ranting._

_"Listen Nate," she moved toward him, to get his attention again. " I'll give you some sound advice. Walk away. Do it now. Because whatever you think you may have with little miss goody-two-shoes back there, is just an accident waiting to happen. Think about your parents, think about people at the club, think about our friends. Do you believe even for a second that they'll welcome her with open arms, when you tell them about her, where she's from. Because they won't. WE won't They might pretend at first, for your sake. But eventually they'll get tried of pretending, you'll get tried of having to defend her, she'll get tried of feeling left out. It won't work.....It can't......And you know it........"_

As much as he wanted to deny it, Nathan knew she was right. Knew that, yes, everyone in his small but superficial circle would never accept them. Never accept her. And maybe he was being selfish for not wanting to go through the torture they would inevitably put them through, maybe not. 

Blinking back the memory of what Theresa said, Nathan's eyes now focused on the woman before him. His resolution made. 

"Look Haley, as much as I'd love to stand here all day and play twenty questions with you, I've kinda got plans. So if you don't mind, I think you should go."

Haley attempted to speak, but lost her will, his words beginning to scare her.

"Because this," he said waving his hands at her and then back to him," between us, just isn't gonna work. I've got school, and friends and basketball, and you've got your stuff. It was just......it was fun, but that's it, ya know? I mean don't get me wrong you were good in bed and all. I just don't really have time in my schedule for extra people right now. You understand," he said coldly, his eyes boring into her own, but this time Haley saw no warmth in them, no feeling whatsoever.

 As if burned by his presence she shifted away from him for the first time. Too repulsed by the callousness of his words to be close to him any longer. She gulped back a breath of air, her throat scratchy. Her vision blurred by the tears that stung her eyes. A million things to say, a million questions to ask him.  However, suddenly she just  felt sick to her stomach.

Holding up a strong front as she gathered what little strength she had left, Haley looked back up at him. "Oh yes perfectly. I understand that you're a bastard, just like you always have been. And _I_–I was a moron to ever thinking differently."

Nathan tired to say something else, but Haley wouldn't let him have the satisfaction of saying the last word.

Hurriedly she pushed past him, walked through the room, out of the building and back to the safety of her car. Never once letting a single tear fall from her face, regardless of the pain she felt bearing down upon her.


	13. Friendship 101

A/N: Here you go lysser8312, I hope you like it!!! A big thanks to everyone else for continuing to review. I really appreciate it. The next update won't be until Saturday or Sunday! Enjoy!

TOXIC

Chapter 13                                                       

Friendship 101

**Time always seemed to move **slower when you were alone with your thoughts. Like the world was playing a joke that everyone was in on except you. At least that's the way Haley saw it, while she sat alone in her car, attempting to compose herself. She inhaled a deep breath, and ran a hand through her hair. An overwhelming sense of emptiness filled her again. The same one that she'd felt while walking home after her day in the basement.

Unsure of what to do with herself Haley made her way out of the car and up to her apartment.

Instead of coming home to the empty apartment she'd left, however, Haley came face to face with what appeared to be a very annoyed Brooke, when she walked in through the door.

God she so didn't want to deal with this right now.  She wanted curl up in a ball and cry or scream, mostly both. She wanted to become invisible, be left alone, forget about Nathan Scott and the utter disaster that was this day.

But wishes like that never came true, when you lived with someone from the Davis clan. Polite, respectful, quite, Brooke was not. Especially when she had a bone to pick with you. And it seemed like Haley was the lucky runner up in that category.

"Hi," she clipped out, standing in front of the door like a guardian.

"Hey," Haley tried  moving around her friend, to get inside "Where's Peyton?"

"At her Dad's." Brooke followed closely behind, watching Haley with a Hawk eye. "Whatcha been up to? You've been gone all day."

"I was out."

"Out where," Brooke asked, as Haley tried to go into her bedroom.

"Just out. I had stuff to do," she answered. Thinking how weird it was that Brooke all of sudden had this new found interest in her daily activities.

"Did you get it done," Brooke plopped herself down on Haley's bed, and observed as her friend went about collecting her dirty clothes from the ground, and then putting them into the wastebasket. Anything to stay busy, and not think about loathsome men or suspicious friends.

"Sure did," she puffed out an exasperated laugh at how funny her friends question really sounded to her now. 

Brooke moved off the bed, and came up beside Haley with raised eyebrow. "So tell me about it."

Haley wasn't sure what she was talking about. Was she referring to the errands she was supposed to run?  Because as long as there was food in the fridge, or toothpaste to brush her teeth with, grocery store shopping never rated high on Brooke's 'things to know' list. Yet Haley got the sinking feeling her friend wasn't really inquiring about that.

"What do you mean," she tried going for the obliviousness tactic.

"Well you've been all mope-y for the last week. So tell me who it is that's got you so upset. It's a guy right? Usually is."

"It's no one," Haley started gathering the rest of her clothes, in hopes of getting out of this conversation as quickly as possible. Not only did she not want to tell Brooke about her and Nathan. She didn't want to think about Nathan in general.

Of course Brooke never made things easy. It just wasn't in her nature. It's wasn't in her blood.

"I know! How about you let me guess........," She began with an eager lilt.

Haley scurried out of her room with her clothes piled in her arms, and started out the apartment and into the hallway. She counted on Brooke not following her. Mostly because Brooke tried to avoid the laundry room at all costs.

No such luck this time of course.

 "Hmmm Who could it be........."

Brooke treaded just behind Haley as she got into the elevator. And Haley noticed for the first time that in her rush to get away from Brooke not only had she forgotten a laundry basket, but also detergent and any sort of money. So here they were trapped in an elevator, with Brooke badgering her as she held seven pounds of clothing in her arms. This was splendid.

"Oh I know," Brooke faked excitement, "Could it be.....could it be......Nathan Scott?"

Everything stopped moving. No, no maybe just the elevator, maybe they had gotten stuck. Or maybe she just couldn't feel her legs anymore. God she needed to focus on what was going on. Her friend had just found her out right? Had she known all long? Had she seen them together today? Oh god, Haley wanted to sit down. Take a drink of water. Anything to escape the piercing eyes of her best friend. Had Brooke always been this scary? Or was this new?

"I don't know what you're talking about." Again with the being oblivious.

Brooke squinted her eyes, and stared into Haley's searching her face for lies.

"Don't lie Haley. You suck at it. Plus I saw you two at the party together. Overheard whatever it was Theresa was bitching about. Now tell me what happened. I'm your best friend damn it, I deserve to know."

So it was the party where she'd seen them. Crap, crap, double crap. That just made her life even better. Great now she probably had to explain why Theresa was being such a bitch to them. Although honestly Haley didn't know why Theresa's behavior would be construed as being different than any other time. And there, Brooke was giving her that skeptical look again. Like she wasn't sure she was going to believe anything that Haley said. Life was really unfair most of the time.

Haley figured honesty was the best policy right? That's what everyone always tells you growing up. What they force feed you throughout school, so it's got to be somewhat true.

_Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Prepare for screaming,_ she told herself.

"I slept with Nathan,"Haley uttered quickly, and then closed her eyes, ready for the inevitable onslaught.

But nothing came. Silence over took the elevator. And again Haley wondered if she had just been dropped into some otherworldly realm, where everything turned out the reverse way you expected it to. Specifically to piss you off. 

Slowly she opened one eye and then other, to see Brooke's own eyes wide, her face motionless.

"Please. Tell. Me. You're. Joking," she said deliberately slow.

"I wish I were," Haley offered, somberly just above a whisper. Those words more true now, than they had ever been.

"Ok, I thought maybe you had gotten a little crush on him or something. That's why I went all Nancy Drew on you. But this? I can't even......Have you gone COMPLETELY INSANE?"

Brooke's voice had gone from mild to super sonic within 5 seconds flat, a new record Haley surmised with a cringe. She needed to say something to calm her friend down, but she couldn't find the words. In someway she felt as if she deserved this rant. She did after all, have sex with her best friends ex-boyfriend, one of the top five things never to do to a friend.

"Brooke I'm sorry, I didn't plan for it to happen. You have to know that," Haley pleaded.

"Why Haley? Just tell me why. You and Nathan? I just don't get it. God I thought you two tired to avoid each other like plague."

"Yeah, well we did until we got stuck down in a basement together," Haley added, and Brooke gave her a confused expression, before she finally figured out exactly what she meant. Understood where it was her friend had disappeared off to, that night.

Brooke looked at her friend collectedly, trying as hard as she might not too blow up."So are you two......"

"Together? A big, huge no."

Brooke managed to give Haley a sympathetic look, which surprised her considering she thought the other girl would be half way to ripping her head off by now. It gave Haley a small ounce of comfort.

"Look Hales, I should probably be mad at you, but I'm not, ok. Whatever it was that happened between you two down there, is probably none of my business........ Although feel free to share the dirty details."

"Yeah, that'll happen," Haley chuckled with relief.

"Listen, I know you, and I know what Nathan used to be like. And I don't want you to get hurt."

 Haley looked at Brooke like she'd grown a second head. "That's not the advice your supposed to be giving me. Your supposed to scream, and yell, and tell me to stay the hell away from your man. You're supposed to be all jealous an evil, and try to tell me how awful he is, so that I would never want him in the first place. I watch Guiding Light,  I watch Springer, I know these things. Now get on with the obligatory hair pulling and chair throwing."

Brooke laughed, and shook her head. "Umm, sorry, but there'll be no hair pulling from me. That might cause nail breakage or something. Besides, like I said I'm not mad at you. Me and Nathan are so far in the past I wonder sometimes why we were ever together in the first place. All we ever did was fight. And not in the hot-sexy-I-wanna-throw-you-on-my-bed-and-have-crazy-wild-animal-sex-with-you. No it was more like, how many ways can we annoy the hell out of each other, and storm out of the room with the last word, kind of arguments. Which sadly never ended with fun happy make up sex."

Haley tried to give Brooke a laugh, but feeling even more guilty from her friends' kindness, chose to instead bow her head in shame.  She still felt stained from the entire experience, no matter how much sympathy Brooke offered.

"I don't what care what you say, I'm still a skank for doing this."

"Welcome to the team."

"Ha ha."

"Lighten up girlfriend. Sex does not equate to sluttyness ok. Nobody is going to mark you with a red A. Least of all me."

"But I'm a horrible person. I broke the number one rule of friendship. And that is to **_not_** sleep with your best friends' boyfriend, or ex-boyfriend, or whatever. Basically I just suck. Please tell me that I suck," she begged.

Brooke looked at Haley in amusement. "Will it make you feel better if I do?"

"Maybe."

"Well sorry then, I just can't. Like I said before. I know you Haley. You don't hurt your friends. And you don't kiss boys like Nathan, unless it means something," Brooke offered, the most honest remark she'd said to Haley in a long time.

"I thought it did," she paused, unexpectedly remembering his kisses, the softness of his hands against her shoulders. "When we were in the moment and everything was happening I thought......I don't know, that it was going to be different this time. That maybe he was different. God I'm so stupid. Guys don't change, they're all the same. I should know that by now."

"Hey, I keep holding out for Mr Right too. I know, I know, Brooke Davis settle down? That's Blasphemy! But I do. Trust me Hales, that guy for you, he's out there."

"I hope you're right."

"Aren't I always?"

Haley wanted to be praise her friend for how mature she was being about all of this. Wanted to be overjoyed that Brooke was in someway giving her, her blessing to be with Nathan. But what still remained was that there was no her and Nathan. He'd already made that point perfectly clear.

"I love you, you know that," she smiled at Brooke.

"Well who wouldn't? I mean really."

Both girls let out a calming laugh embracing each other in a quick hug, before Haley hit the up button to go back to the apartment.

"So you and Nathan. And then no–you and Nathan?"

Haley nodded, holding her clothes tighter to her body.

"Wait until Peyton finds out."

"Do you think it's at all possible you hold off on telling her. I don't think I could handle you both barging me with questions."

 "Maybe for a day," Brooke told her. "Will I ever find out what went down between you two though, or am I  left to make up my own slutty little images," Brooke asked, folding her arms in front of her chest.

Haley readjusted the clothes once again. Trying to ignore her friends' question. "Nathan and I.......Well I just don't understand him," she deflected, focusing way too intensely on the aqua blue shirt in front of her.

Brooke came up next her friend, and placed her arm around Haley's shoulder. "I never did either babe. All those years "together" and Nathan Scott is still a complete enigma to me. I think the boy has some serious issues he needs to work out. Because he just doesn't know how to open up with people, especially those close to him, ya know?"

Yes, she sure did.


	14. So Far Down

A/N: Okay so just to try to avoid some confusion I want to explain that Nathan and Lucas are both Deb and Dan's sons in this story. I just chose to make them both full-blooded brothers because it flows better with how I want this story to go. As always thank you all of your wonderful reviews I hope you're enjoying reading it!! Feel free to leave feedback. I always like to know if there was a specific part you liked or didn't like. Either way! I also apologize for the shortness of this chapter. I didn't have a whole lot to add to it. I wanted it be short and sweet. A new update will be up soon though. I promise. Now on with the reading:)

TOXIC 

Chapter 14

So Far Down

**Trying to make his life** make sense.  Trying to understand why he did the things he did. Those were the thoughts running through Nathan's head as he entered his house, and threw his gym bag roughly to the ground. The sound it made it hitting the floor reverberated throughout the rest of the house.

"Nate is that you," Deb Scott called, from the kitchen when she heard the noise. "Nate?"

She listened has she heard heavy steps come from the foyer and into the smaller kitchen, were she was currently trying to make a batch of chocolate chip cookies. The smell of burnt sugar and chocolate mixed into the air. Nathan took no notice of it as he entered the room sullenly.

"What," he grumbled, leaning on a nearby barstool.

"How was your trip to the gym," Deb asked with added pep, as she continued to stir the cookie doe.

"Fine."

"Did you see Luke there," she looked up at him, and his face shifted from blank canvas to a noticeable scowl.

"No."

"Do you know where he is," she pressed, and Nathan shifted on his feet tensely, not wanting to talk to his mother about his brother right at the moment.

"No."

"Do you know where he is," she seemed concerned.

Nathan wondered not for the first time if she ever acted this worried when he wasn't around. Sure Luke was the good child, and he was the bad. They had been deemed these roles from practically birth. And even though Nathan had basketball, he would never be good enough in his parents eyes to be considered the good child. Lucas won the part long ago. Not that they both hadn't been given anything everything they both wanted. Not that they weren't both loved. It just hurt, he supposed, that Luke got both basketball and brains, and he only got one.

"Nope," he bit out at her, ready to leave the room.

"Do you know if he's going to be around for dinner?"

"I don't know Mom. Call his cell," Nathan practically yelled. 

Deb set down her bowl and came closer to her second born. "Is there something wrong Nate?"

He let out a deep heavy sigh. "Everything's peachy Mom," he shrugged her off, and walked toward the hall. He hated when she pitied him. It was sickening.

"Are you staying for dinner," she questioned.

"Yeah," was the last thing he uttered before he left the room, and went towards the stairs. Only to come right across his father's path.

Another heavy sigh. Why did people always bother him, when he just wanted to be left alone.

"Nate, you seen your brother," Dan Scott said as he continued to parus the catalog he held in his hands. 

Nathan rolled his eyes, wanting more than anything to not have to go through this whole spiel again. "No. I don't know where he is. I haven't seen him all day."

"You think he'll be home tonight," Dan asked with interest, his eyes still on the what he was reading.

"Probably," Nathan bit out in a raised voice, which immediately got his father's attention.

Dan eyes him carefully, and snapped the catalog shut. "Did you talk to the Bayview coach yet?"

"Not yet."

"You better get on top of it son, or else you won't be playing on any team next year."

"I know Dad."

"Then do it," Dan stated with a serious glare.

"I will," Nathan replied in kind, the overwhelming feeling of never quite being good enough, struck him as it always did when he had these talks with his father. It was a Dan Scott speciality something both him and Lucas knew too well. Something, which neither of them could escape, and yet always tried to attain. It was a futile effort, and Nathan could see that. He just didn't know if trying to live up to his father's expectations was worth all the sacrifices. Not when it made him choose between what he wanted and what Dan wanted. And not when it made him feel like this.

Both men stood in silent consideration for a moment, Nathan staring off into the empty side room, as Dan observed him.

"How about we go for a run," he questioned, with a more merrier expression.

"I already went running this morning," Nathan countered, with a tried shrug.

"Well you'll go again then. Gotta keep fit for next season," Dan smiled, slapping Nathan on the back as he started down the opposite hall.

"Go change, I'll meet you down here in 15," he added before disappeared.

Nathan grinded his jaw together, and slowly began pounding his way to his room. The only real thought that continued to haunt his brain, despite the nagging of his mother and bluster of his father, was the image of Haley's fallen face. The fact that he had caused it, and now it was too late to take back. Much like everything else in his life.


	15. Center of Gravity

A/N: Not sure when the next update will be. Might not be for a few days, I've got a lot of work to catch up on. If you're ever curious just check out my Livejournal. I post updates there all the time:)

TOXIC

Chapter 15

Center of Gravity

**Avoidance was the key to** getting anything and everything out of your mind. At least that's what Nathan wanted to believe, when it came to any kind of thoughts of Haley James.

No clubbing, no cruising around town, no going to the gym, no nothing. That had been his strategy. It seemed like a logical assumption, which appeared to be working. For the first few days he just hung around the house, had people over to party, no big deal.

Then of course the boredom began to set in, and he knew if he had to spend one more minute of listening to his Dad bitch about him or Lucas, taste test another batch of his mother's disgusting sugar cookies, or even listen to his brother's mind numbing punk rock music he'd have to kill them all. Or maybe himself. Both options very unappealing.

Which was why when Jake had come over to his house earlier that night and begged him to go out with him, he'd finally relented.  

Because he thought he might have some actual fun, get his mind off of girls he can't have, or mistakes he'd made in the past, not watch his friend desert him the very second Peyton walked into the club. 

Haley gliding in right behind her. 

He also didn't think he'd care all that much when a blonde curly headed American Eagle wannabe came up to the bar and started blatantly flirting with her.

But he did. 

Which for some reason pissed him off even more.

And so there he was, sitting at one of the corner tables inside of Ecstacy, half drunk off his ass, and very much annoyed. His glower prominent for everyone to see.

"Having fun," Jake asked, as he stopped by the table to take a swig of his beer.

Nathan finished off the last of his drink and plastered on a fake smile. "Yes Jake. Thank you for bringing me out. I've had oh so much fun," he stated loudly, waving around the empty bottle.

Jake set his own drink down and put his arm on top of Nathan's to stop the swinging, his voice lowered. "How many drinks have you had man?"

"Not enough," he declared, swiping Jake's beer off the table, and chugging it down as well.

"Are you–are you mad?"

"No this is my happy face. Can't you tell?"

"Did I miss something Nate. Cause I thought you wanted to come out tonight."

"Yeah and I thought you were gonna hang out with me instead of drooling all over Peyton Sawyer. Guess we were both wrong."

"Dude if you wanted to leave you could of just said so," Jake uttered, feeling a edge of guilt.

Nathan just rolled his eyes with disinterest and turned his attention back to the bar where Haley sat. The blonde wannabe closer to her this time. His hand slightly resting on her leg, as she laughed at some pretentious comment he'd made. 

 Nathan gripped his bottle and squeezed it roughly. The fire inside of him, becoming more than he could handle. The unbelievable urge to tell that prick to stay away from her, beginning to seep into his alcohol induced mind. He knew he had to stay away though. She wasn't his business. She couldn't be.

"If you want, we can go," Jake offered, but Nathan rebuked his proposal.

"How bout I get another drink," he said getting up from his barstool. He made it halfway across the room before he felt a small hand grab his arm.

"Hey sexy. When did you get here," Theresa purred from behind him. Her closeness giving Nathan that all to familiar feeling of suffocation, and irritation.

"Before you did," he answered, turning around to face her.

"Want to dance?"

"No."

 Theresa flicked her tongue out an ran it across her lips, seductively ."Fine. Want to get me a drink then?"   

"Not particularly," he answered plainly.

This was not what she expected to hear from him."Well Jesus, Nathan, you're sure being a grade-A asshole tonight,"she whined.            

"Thanks. Now what do you want Theresa," Nathan ground out.

Theresa plastered on a plastic smile, and flipped her hair with the flick of her wrist. "Can't I just want to hang out with my boyfriend, without him thinking I have some ulterior motive," she asked, innocently batting her eyelashes at him.

Nathan pulled away from her ensnaring arms, in an attempt to get away. "_Ex-boyfriend _is what Iam Theresa. And no, you can't. And whatever your motive is I don't care. Find some other yuppie to fawn over you, cause I'm done," he finished turning back towards the bar without giving her s second glance.

When he was almost to the bartender his eyes voluntarily flickered back over to Haley. The blonde wannabe only inches from her now. His mouth suspiciously close to hers. Which was the last thing to set Nathan off. He didn't even hesitate to think, instinctively moving forward.

"We need to talk," he muttered, coming in between Haley and the man she was with.

Haley looked up at him confused. She'd seen him when she'd walked in of course. He'd been the first thing her eyes had zeroed in on. Which made her whole plan of getting him out of her head even more difficult. Yet when Brad Shiftly, the same Brad who had called her only a little while before to study, she was happy for the reprieve. Even more so when he began flirting and buying drinks for her.

Nathan coming over to talk, didn't however, make sense.

"Excuse me," Haley asked him in annoyance.

"You. Me. Over there. I need to talk to you," Nathan continued, pointing to a quiet spot in the club.

She glanced between Nathan and Brad, at a total loss.

"Haley do you know this guy," Brad cut in before she could say another word. 

Nathan's attention diverted for the moment from her to him. He turned straight to Brad, his eyes stone cold. His trade mark smirk in place. "Yeah we're old childhood buddies. Go way back. Come on Haley," Nathan latched his hand on to hers, and began to pull her forward, when she refused to move.

"I'm sorry. What's your name again," Brad asked with more gall this time.

"Nathan. Nathan Scott."

"You here alone," Brad asked with a simper as he stood exceptionably close to Haley's side.

"Is that any of your business," Nathan replied, his jaw starting to involuntarily twitch.

"I simply ask, because you seem to have a great deal of interest in talking with Miss James here. When I thought I clearly saw you with that lanky brunette over there," Brad claimed, pointing to Theresa's figure.

"Well you were wrong," Nathan tried his most to be cordial while he could feel his blood begin to boil.

"You sure? Cause I saw your hands all over her a minute ago?"

Nathan's temper flared. He knew this jerk was referring to his little encounter with Theresa throwing herself at him. He knew the entire act could of been interpreted differently from far away. And this guy was using that fact to his advantage. Another reason Nathan wanted him nowhere near Haley.

At this point Nathan knew he needed to talk to Haley or leave, otherwise things were going to get ugly fast. When he looked down at her though, her eyes were filled with unbidden anger. He attempted to say something to her but was cut off once again.

"So where exactly did you matriculate from Nathan Scott," Brad asked with a fair amount of insolence.

"Bayview, actually. And you," Nathan responded in the same. Both the men faced each other head on. Haley unsure of what to say or do, to calm the storm she was sure was going to come.

"Newport."

"Well that's fascinating ____"

"Brad."

"That's fascinating Br-ad. Now if you'll excuse me and Haley for just a second," Nathan began to pull her forward again. 

"I'm fine right where I am Nathan. If you have something to say then just say it," she protested, finally yanking her arm away.

Nathan tried to think of something substantial in his alcohol induced state. The only rational, plausible thought that kept repeating itself in his head was that she should be with him. A statement he didn't want to believe and couldn't say. His head hurt.

Haley and Brad watched him earnestly, as he stood there silent. Giving up she grabbed hold of Brad's hand, trying to pull him with her through the club.

"I don't think you should go with him," Nathan yelled to her, before she got to far.

Haley stepped away from Brad and came right up in front of Nathan's face. There bodies only inches apart. His breath cool against her skin.

 "Well I don't really care what you think Nathan. You're not my keeper," she whispered harshly, enough for only the both of them to hear.

"So you're dumping for hair model now," Nathan waved his arm forward dramtically.

Haley's eyes widened as she leaned closer. "Are you bent? We are not together Nathan. There is no you and me. By your own choice, remember!"

She moved back towards Brad when Nathan grabbed her arm, yanking her back harder than he'd intended. Brad quickly moved to help her get her balance back, daring Nathan to make another move.

"I think you should walk away. Right now. Me and Haley are just trying to have some fun. No distractions, no boy-toys" he said snidely.

"Guess that means you're out then" Nathan retorted, getting up in front of him.

Brad didn't back down, like Nathan had expected, which caught him off guard.

Brad was by no means a tall man, Nathan could tell. But he did look strong, something Nathan himself could in no way compete with in his current state, which made Brad appear all that more intimidating. Any other time Nathan would of been up to the challenge, but there were to many obstacles in his way. And if anything, he was smart enough to know when he was backed into a corner.

"Look man I don't want to fight you."

"No he just wants to fight me," Haley broke in between them.

"No I just want to talk to you.....Five minutes, that's all."

Haley looked back to Brad reluctantly, knowing that if she didn't adhere to Nathan's request, he'd just find another way to get to her.

Passing by Nathan, she walked into the hallway by the bathrooms, the music a little more subdued. She stopped before him, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "Speak," she ordered.

Nathan took a calming breath, still unsure of why he felt it was so important for him to do this, when he was practically stumbly to just walk. 

"Don't go back out there with him."

"Why not?"

"Because he's just playing you Haley. To get you into bed. Everyone can spot guys like him from a mile away. You know the real cocky, overly confident, arrogant jackasses that think they're God's gift to women. He's no good for you."

Haley scoffed, shaking her head back and forth until she broke out into a laugh.

"What," Nathan looked at her with angry confusion.

"Don't you get it? You are that guy Nathan. You have no room to judge."

He narrowed his eyes at her. Holding back the outburst he could feel within him. "Fine. Whatever. Let him use you then. I don't care."

"Did you ever stop to think that maybe I'm using him," Haley glared, and watched as Nathan's face fell. The hard mask he held for the rest of the world quickly returning, a moment later.

"Well I hope you're happy with yourself when you wake up next to him in the morning."

"That's not really your concern now is it?"

"You're right. It's not," he replied, shrugging his shoulders, and brushing past her.

Haley spun around and watched him dart out the club. Leaving a smiling Brad there to console her.


	16. Sway

New update all here for ya. Might be another one coming sometime this night or early tomorrow. So keep an eye out :P

TOXIC

Chapter 16

Sway

**The apartment was completely silent **as Brooke walked in from her quick outing. She figured on somebody being up by now. It was after all noon. Not that the sleeping power of a college student couldn't rival the best of the best, but she also knew her roommates weren't exactly the type to sleep the day away either.

This was why she hated working on Saturday nights. It almost always entailed coming home alone. A deed she wasn't too used to. Which made being completely alone the following morning, even less appealing. Usually she had Haley to hang out with. Gossip about her weekend adventures with. However both her friends seemed to be a no show at the moment.

Which left Brooke to ponder where it was they were. 

Not being one to actually ponder anything for too long a period of time, she headed towards Peyton's room.

The sight of a ruffled Jake coming out of her room, stopping Brooke dead in her tracks.

"Brooke," he nodded in acknowledgment, as he yawned his eyes heavy from sleep.

"Jake," she said back, and quietly watched as he made his way out the door. Peyton coming out of her room only seconds later, a content smile on her face.

"Good morning," Peyton chirped, heading to the bathroom with a light step.

"Yeah I bet," Brooke unintentionally smiled for her friend as she yelled to her through the closed door.

Standing by the door in debate, Brooke decided to return once again to the lonely kitchen table and her uneaten bagel she'd just bought. 

The front door opened right as Brooke sat down, and revealed a very disheveled Haley.

Again Brooke's mouth dropped open as she moved to get up.

"Hal—"

"I don't want to talk about it," she said as if on cue and waved Brooke off, going into her room and shutting the door.

"I didn't even say anything," Brooke yelled to her. She waited a few minutes in silence again. Unsure of whom would be the next to reappear.

"But you were going too," Haley yelled back. Coming out of her room moments later, a fresh pair of clothes on, her hair up in a tight ponytail.

"Can't I be a little curious," Brooke asked, as Haley began searching through the refrigerator.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because, if I tell you one thing, then you're going to want to know about everything. And you won't stop bugging me until you do. This way, if I don't tell you anything. You won't have anything to bug me about."

Brooke didn't look amused.

"Well fine then Mary Sunshine. Tell me about your encounter with the Evil Scott then."

Haley stopped her searching. She popped her head out of the fridge too look at a grinning Brooke.

"Thought I didn't I see that right? You should know by now that I catch everything when I'm working. So come on spill it."

Haley didn't know what to tell her. It wasn't that she felt like she had to lie. They'd already cleared up any of those residual doubts. It was that she wasn't sure of how much to share with Brooke. She wasn't ready to tell anybody about her and Brad.  She wasn't ready to confront that train wreck just yet.

 She paused on how to begin. "Nathan saw me with Brad and—"

"Chemistry guy," Brooke asked with a slight mischievous smile. Haley frowned at her and continued.

"Yeah. Nathan saw us talking together, and got...I don't know pissed that I was paying attention to somebody else other than him. Or maybe that somebody was paying attention to me. Who knows? Either way he tried to get into a fight with Brad. And when that didn't work, he left. And then we left."

"Being you and Brad?"

"Yeah."

"And then what happened?"

"I told you I don't want to talk about it." Haley said with an overwhelming sense of insecurity.

"Talk about what," Peyton asked coming out the bathroom, freshly showered, the smile still on her face.

"About her and Brad spending the night together," Brooke offered, and Haley gave her the look of death.

"Brad who," Peyton questioned, situating herself by the other two girls.

"A guy from my Chemistry class," Haley stated simply, her eyes cast downwards.

"That she spent the night with," Brooke added with a bouncy smirk.

"Oh really? What happened," Peyton asked, and both Haley and Brooke gave her shocked expressions. Peyton had never really been one to pry. New developments seemed to be springing up all around.

"Nothing happened ok! Nothing," Haley said dramatically in hopes of placating their interest

Brooke looked unconvinced, while Peyton seemed to accept her admission for the moment. Brooke eyed Haley's uncharacteristic frown and decided to move to Peyton.

"Ok so Haley says _nothing_ happened with her and Chemistry guy. But I know something went down with you and Jake. Or should I say some _one_," Brooke smiled, and made a little squeal when Peyton threw a dishtowel her way.

Haley watched in dismay as her friends gushed over Peyton's night with Jake. How sweet he was, how gentle, how he promised to take her out next Saturday for dinner. The whole time wishing she could be happy for her friends, instead of wishing that she could have that for herself.

........................... 

**"Can I have Ice Chia Latte please**," Brooke asked the swirly 16 year old cashier, that stood across the counter from her at Gloria Jeans coffee shop. Expertly leering down at her chest.

"Would you like skim, 1%, or 2% milk with that Ma'am?"

"Two Percent. And don't call me Ma'am," she flinched, tousling her hair a bit for emphasis. Feeling way too old at the moment.

"Oh sorry Ma—iss."

"Sure," she sighed, handing him a 5 dollar bill from her purse. He took the money and gave her, her change.

Brooke then proceeded to leave, but found herself blocked by a rather tall figure with blonde hair and a pair of stunning blue eyes.

"So do I get Hello or what," Lucas asked, his own smile beaming.

Brooke looked straight up at him, her lips curving into a flirtatious grin, at the sight of him. She'd never admit it of course, but Lucas Scott had always been very appealing to her. Why she'd never approached him before now was a mystery to her.

"I'm surprised to see you here," she replied, following him to the counter.

"Oh and why is that?"

"I guess I never really pictured you as a coffee kinda guy."

"That's cause sweet frosty beverages really aren't that manly if you know what I mean. Got keep it on the down-low. I do have a reputation to uphold and all," he said half-jokingly.

Brooke let out a little giggle and waited for him to get his drink.

When she looked back down at her watch three hours later she realized just how long her and Lucas had been sitting there and talking. Enjoying each others company. Time had cease to exist, and for some reason she didn't really mind.

"So tell me Luke, why didn't we ever get together in High school huh," she teased him with a bat of her eyelashes, leaning closer to him from across the table.

Lucas leaned forward as well. Matching her smile with his own. "I don't know. Probably because you were dating my brother, and I was dating your best-friend."

Brooke flipped her hair over shoulder, and then nodded her head with playful jest. "Oh that's right, of course. But still we could have hung out sometimes, I mean who knew you could be so much fun to just hang around and talk with?"

"Hey I've got a crazy idea," Luke locked eyes with her.

"What?"

"How bout we hang out next weekend. You and me."

Suddenly their playful afternoon had just taken a twist Brooke wasn't prepared for. Did he really want to go out with her? Be friends with her? Knowing her past? Most boys didn't.

"Are you being serious," she asked, her smile fading.

"Aren't you having fun," Luke countered still keeping her gaze. Tilting his head to the side with curiosity.

"Well yeah....but don't you think that us "going out" might cause drama?"

"From who? Nathan? Who cares. As far as I know he's already hung up on somebody else anyway."

This was news. This was definite news, of the good variety. "How do you know?"

He gave her a suspicious eye squint. "He's been pissy for weeks. More than usual, and I know it's not from school or basketball. Which leaves only one other option really. That it's a girl. I'm guessing she must've dumped his sorry-ass. It would definitely explain the attitude."

"Do you know who it is?"

Luke let out an audible laugh at her question, as if the very idea was absurd. "That's funny. The last time Nate told me who he liked was.....umm.....never. He's not big in the sharing department."

Suddenly Brooke had an idea bubbling in her head. An idea she knew could turn out disastrous in a multitude of ways. But that wasn't going to stop her. Her brain had already gotten on the train and was heading full speed down the track. Now all she needed was to make sure everyone else was onboard.

Slowly she broke into a grin, turning to Luke with a gleam in her eyes. "Ok, so what if I told you I have this friend, who likes your friend.............."


	17. Truth or Consequence

The other update I promised. Hope you like, and don't forget to review :)

TOXIC

Chapter 17

Truth or Consequence

**In the week that passed**, Christmas had come and gone. Uneventfully.

Brooke and Peyton had returned to the confines of their apartment earlier that day. While Haley had just gotten back. Loads of new presents weighing her down as she entered through the front door with a grunt. Sluggishly she drug all of her remaining bags from her stay at her parents through the living room and into her bedroom. Returning a minute later to plop down on the couch next to an idle Brooke, who had conveniently decided to leave her bags by the front doorway.

"Ahh it's good to be home," Haley sighed, resting her head on the back of the couch.

"Parents drive you crazy," Peyton asked, sitting in the sofa chair by them, randomly flipping channels on the t.v.

"Parents, siblings, cousins, uncles, aunts, you name it," Haley numbered off, "I don' think I got any sleep while I was there."

"Family time's a Bitch, that's for sure," Brooke stated with complete honesty.

"I second that," Peyton said jokingly, but all three girls knew the truth. While Haley's family could swallow you whole with its pure size, Brooke's on the other hand was almost non-existent. So when she wasn't spending forced time with her mother and step-father she was usually over at Peyton's house with her and her dad.

Shaking off the bad thoughts of her family, Brooke jumped up excitedly from the couch. "I'm bored lets do something fun?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know, give each other facial's or pedicures or something," Brooke said giddily.

"Since when did you become one with all the bonding," Haley muttered, her eyes reverting back to the television screen. A happy Jessica Simpson jumping up and down about the new car Nick had gotten her.

"Well you want to look pretty tonight don't you?"

"For what exactly?"

"For the dinner plans we made last week remember," Brooke said, and looked to Peyton who also nodded in agreement.

Haley brought her head up and looked back and forth between them confused. She couldn't remember ever making any sort of dinner plans. Not that she'd had a whole lot of room in her brain for anything other than the large amount that Nathan was previously taking up. But still, dinner plans? On a Saturday? She couldn't remember ever agreeing to that.

"Dinner Plans?"

"At the Bayview Steakhouse. Duh," Brooke waved off with a laugh, and Peyton gave her that –aww you silly goose– expression. Haley suddenly feeling like she'd just waltzed into a bizarre episode of Leave it to Beaver.

"Well sorry to burst your bubble guys, but I'm gonna take a rain check this time."

Brooke gave her a disapproving glare. " Haley James opts out once again. Why am I not surprised."

"Hey I don't even remember making these supposed "plans". Besides, going out on a Saturday would seriously cut into my lounging around time. Plus I've already eaten enough of my Mom's gourmet cooking to feed a small village."

Brooke looked too Peyton for some support, and she just flipped up her arms in defense. "Hey I'm not getting the middle of it this time."

"Who cares if you don't remember making the plans. Go anyway, be adventurous," Brooke pleaded to her.

"Yeah we can have a whole girls night out thing. Just the three of us," Peyton decided to add, which earned her a bright smile from Brooke.

Haley sighed, convinced she must be crazy for always letting her friends convince her into doing things she didn't want to. "Will you get off my back if I go out tonight," she asked, totally resigned to her fate.

Brooke's face lighted up.

"Cross my heart," she chirped, making a girl scout gesture as Haley just laughed.

"Alright I'm in," Haley subsided letting her head fall back to the couch. "But someone has to help me pick out something to wear."

Brooke smiled mischievously and Haley immediately turned to the sofa chair. "Peyton....help?"

..................................

**The Bayview Steakhouse was one** of the only three classy restaurants that resided in the their rather small town. While it wasn't quite as exclusive as the Bayview Country club, reservations were still more difficult to manage than the average café. 

So when the girls walked in, dressed to the nine's they absolutely felt like a million bucks. Haley watched as a large majority of the male population within the restaurant turned their heads as they strutted into the lobby. It made her feel good inside, special. Something she hadn't ever felt whole lot of in her life. 

Which made this good idea she finally surmised. Get out, be among people, away from the doldrums of her room and the constant questions about, and thoughts of a tall, dark, and handsome figure that had been relentlessly invading her brain.

Brooke was definitely an expert about how to get your mind off a guy. Which reminded Haley to thank her for this night later on.

"Feeling good yet," Brooke asked her a moment later, as she noticed the evident smile that had appeared across Haley's mouth, when a rather cute green eyed waiter had looked her way.

"I'm getting there," Haley smirked at her friend.

Brooke grinned and then went up to the Hostess to ask for their reservation.

Peyton and Haley stood back behind her, waiting around, quietly observing the soft glow of the room around them, the serene atmosphere. The peacefulness of it all.

Haley's attention was directed on a happy couple dining together, the soft way they would touch the others hand, or lightly laugh at the other's comment. Wondering how it came so easy to them.

So focused she was on watching them, she didn't even notice that Lucas and Jake meanwhile had come into the restaurant behind them dressed more casually. Everyone but her stood in a little circle conversing.

"Haley," Brooke called over to her. "Look who's here."

"Hey Jake, Luke," she greeted them, before eyeing Brooke and Peyton with an uncertain glower.  Something felt off about them being here. It seemed to much of a coincidence.

As everyone else continued to talk Haley came up beside Brooke and grabbed at her elbow to get her attention. "What's going on," she said in a hushed voice.

Brooke had to lean down to hear, but once she did she snapped to alert. Plastering a fake smile on her face. "What do you mean?"

"Why are Luke and Jake here? I thought this was supposed to be a girls night out, remember?"

"It will be," Brooke assured her. Haley continued to look at her skeptically while everyone else chatted. Unsure of whether to believe her or not. Brooke usually wasn't one for lying. Unless it served her some greater purpose. And if she had wanted to hang out with Lucas, there was no need for the charade. Brooke had come home completely swooning from her little rendevous with Lucas. At first Haley wasn't sure how to react. Of course she didn't want to be a hypocrite and tell Brooke that dating Lucas was a bad idea. Because honestly her time with had been good. What worried her was the level of excitement in Brook's voices as she talked about him. Never in all their years as friends had Haley ever heard Brooke squeal over the prospect of attention from a boy. It was something that was thrown at her every day. 

Yet Haley also knew happiness when she saw it as well. The true genuineness of Brooke's smile came through her words. And what else could Haley do, but grant her the same clemency that Brooke did for her. She only hoped that for them, it would out better.

Glancing over to Luke at her thoughts, she briefly wondered if Nathan had ever mentioned anything to him about her. She was doubtful. Nathan had always seemed had been private person, about most things in his life. And Luke and him had never been truly close. Just another question of without an answer she supposed. Something that was becoming almost a rule when it came to figuring out the how's and why's of Nathan Scott.

Lucas noticed gave Haley a quick smile, when he noticed her looking his way. He flicked his eyes over to Brooke and his face softened.

"Hey mind if we eat with you guys," he asked  all three girls expectantly, as if it was the most natural thing he'd ever done.

"That'd be fun," Brooke sidled up next to him happily. "You don't mind right Haley?"

Uh, yeah I do, she wanted to snap at Brooke, but didn't Seeing the happy faces of the two couples in front of her made her heart ache and glow at the same time. This was not how she'd planned on spending the night. However she, decided that being the fifth wheel for a few hours, would be a lot easier than dealing with four very unhappy people, two of which she had to live with.

"No it's fine," she shrugged, watching as the host came up to their little circle in the lobby.

"We're ready to seat you now," he stated primly.

Haley started to move forward when she heard Jake speak up. "Actually we're waiting for one more person."

Something didn't feel right about all of this. They were acting too contrived, too......cautious with their words.

"Who," Haley blurted out looking to anyone who would answer.

"Nobody. Just a friend," Jake answered nonchalantly.

Haley waited for him to elaborate, but he stayed quiet. "By the name of.........."

"Hey sorry I'm late, I had to—"

Their eyes met and froze, like they had so many times in the past few weeks. Only in this instance their was no hate, or passion, or anger. Just total and complete shock. 

Haley jolted back. "Oh no! No no no no," she waved her head and arm about frantically, this was not happening, she was not here with him, with her friends, with his friends. This had to be a bizarre dream. Wake up Haley, wake up.

She went to move but the two other girls stopped her. "Yes, yes , yes," Brooke nodded at her, pulling her toward the host who was still waiting to seat him.

Haley glanced around at everyone in front of her, wanting more than anything to dash out the restaurant like a cat after a mouse. But that would require making a scene, something she wasn't prepared to do. Especially in front of Nathan. He didn't deserve to see her make a fool of her self. He didn't have the right.

So as she let her self be led to their already adorned six person table, she turned a harsh quiet voice to Brooke and Peyton. "You set me up. You totally set me up!"

"Sorry sweetie it had to be done," Brooke stated logically, nodding her head.

"What?-Why?!........Oh God. I think my life has just turned into some cheesy daytime soap opera. I mean really, who does this kind of stuff? Who scheme's against their own friends?"

"Apparently we do," Peyton added, with a smile.

"Well you're a disgrace to best-friends everywhere then."

"You won't be saying that when you and Nathan are a happy couple. Now will you," Peyton asked in a chipper tone.

Haley shot her a crazed look, and Peyton shut her mouth, letting her go to sit in her seat.

The boys close behind them just as huddled as the girls were, Nathan none to happy with this current situation

"I'm so gonna kick your ass after we leave here," Nathan grumbled to his brother in a low tone. He wanted to be annoyed by Haley's complete brush off at seeing him here. Honestly though it just hurt more than anything, and that made it worse.

"Man, who knew the two of us could lie so well," Jake laughed at his achievement.

"I probably get it from Dad side of the family. What do you think Nate," Lucas asked with chuckle.

"I really hate you right now," was his only response, as he refused to look at anyone while taking his seat at the rectangular table. Girls and boys on separate sides.

Nathan sat in the middle, across from Haley, who was currently choosing not look anywhere but at her menu.

Brooke noticed the hesitation from everyone's silent forms. Figuring she needed to break the ice, and the fast. She turned to Haley, with more of her usual bounce. "So what are you getting to eat Hales?"

"Anything that's not going to break my bank," she snotted, while opening her menu.

Nathan puffed out a laugh. "Figures," he mumbled under his breath, seeking out any type of retaliation on her he could. Despite the immaturity of it.

Haley whipped her head to look up at him, unsure of what he said. "Excuse you?"

"I didn't say anything," he declared, returning to his own menu.

"Soooo, Jake. How was your Christmas," Peyton swiftly began, doing her part to keep the atmosphere between all of them light.

Jake gave her a knowing smile. "Pretty good. My Dad got me a new lap top with DSL."

"Oh that awesome. Yeah my Dad got DSL last year and now all he does is sit at the computer and buy things off of e-bay."

"That's just like Poppa Sawyer," Brooke laughed.

"Yeah I know. He keeps asking me when you're going to come see him," Peyton replied.

Brooke bit the bottom of her lip, and let her mouth play out into a naughty grin. "Tell him, anytime he wants," she let out a soft giggle.

Peyton leaned over and threw her napkin at her, shaking her head back in forth in vexation.

"Should I be jealous," Lucas asked, watching both girls in amusement.

"Brooke has a dirty crush on my father. It's disturbing."

"He's cute," Brooke shrugged innocently. "Haley agrees with me don't you?"

"No comment," she stated, and everyone fell into a soft laugh. Everyone but Nathan, who had somewhere in the middle of the conversation found himself entranced with Haley's smile. The way she talked when she was happy. He'd never noticed it before. It was so delicate. So not what he needed to be paying attention too.

"Well if they both think you're Dad's great then it must be true," Jake cut in with that endearing charm again. Completely taking Peyton off her guard. "Maybe I could meet him sometime?"

Peyton's face brightened. Not a usual occurrence for her, but nonetheless beautiful "Sure....if you want."

"I want."

Both of them broke into a calm silence as they smiled at each other from across the table, making Nathan more than a bit uncomfortable. Mostly due to the fact that he hadn't wanted to be broughten to this bundle of love in the first place. Yeah, sure he might have been slightly excited when he'd seen Haley first thing. What was going to happen there though? He'd broke it off between them, because......well because they wouldn't work And she'd proved his point by leaving with Brad. Now here they were sitting across a table in a restaurant neither of them wanted to be in. While he was forced to watch his friends be mush all over each other. Fantastic.

"Isn't that so cute," Nathan added sarcastically, at Jake's comment.

"I think so," Haley opposed with resolution.

"You would," he bit out at her, the other two couples staring at them.

"They like each other. What's your problem with that?"

"Why do you care what I have a problem with?"

"I don't."

"Good," Nathan barked, his face a mask of stone as his looked at Haley straight on.

"Great," she met his glare with a fierce determination.

"Perfect," he raised his voice, the tension between them so heavy, it would take a veritable bulldozer to get through it.

"Umm, are you ready to make your order now? Or shall I comeback," their waiter cut in hesitantly.

All six occupants veered their attention into varying directions. Brooke being the only one unfazed by it all, smiled up at the waiter graciously "Yeah, we're ready."


	18. Jaded

Finally an update is here. Sorry about the wait. Here's the second part of the dinner scene for you all. Thank you all for the superb feedback! I couldn't ask for more!!

TOXIC

Chapter 18

Jaded

**It had been over an** hour since they'd all ordered and eaten. The worst meal of the century finally coming to end. It was in the middle of one Brooke's class act dating disaster stories that Haley heard a slight beep coming from her purse. She reached down, where she'd sat in on the ground and placed in her lap, taking out her cell-phone and flipping it open. The front screen read: _New Text Message_.

Haley clicked into her Inbox, the message from a number unknown to her. She scrolled down her inbox to the message.

            _Haley, Had fun last weekend. Can I see u again?  –Brad_

She felt her heart begin to race inside her chest, as she snapped her phone shut, and threw in back into her bag. Picking up her fork, she tried to returning to her meal, only to discover she'd pretty much lost her appetite.

"Whose that," Brooke asked out of left field.

"Nobody," Haley blurted out quickly, too quickly. Which brought Nathan's attention away from his steak and into the conversation.

"Was it your new boyfriend," he asked bitterly, choosing now of all time's to finally join the conversation.

"Boyfriend? Haley is there......" Peyton began.

"I don't have a boyfriend. I don't know what he's talking about," she looked to Nathan nervously, hoping against hope that he wouldn't do what she knew was in his nature to do. And that was making potentially bad situation worse.

"Sure looked like he was your boyfriend when you left the club the other night," he spit out, his ego still sore from the rejection he'd felt by Haley's words.

"How would you know? You walked out first, remember? Not that anyone's surprised by that news," Haley matched him.

"I don't see you denying it."

"I don't have to deny anything to you, or anyone else."

"So you did leave with him then," Nathan prompted, despite Haley's paling.

"Just let it go Nate," Lucas tired making peace.

Nathan waved him off, without a second thought, his mind set. "No I'm curious. She won't say if she left with him or not. But she will say they're not together. Now what does that mean?"

"What do you want from me." There wasn't even a word for how uncomfortable she was feeling right now. Glancing to Brooke or Peyton, Haley hoped for some kind of reprieve. None came.

"Oh come on, we're all dying to know?"

"Know what," Haley cried.

Nathan was beyond curious now, as he continued to prod her. He needed to know what happened. Had to know to what she did with this guy; why he was so much better.

"So did you make it to his apartment, or did you just screw him right there in the parking lot?"

"NATHAN," Lucas and Peyton yelled form both sides of the table at him.

"Keep your voices down! Jesus," Jake whispered, as people from other tables began looking over at them.

Nathan wasn't prepared to quit. "Tell us Haley. What was it?"

"Nathan stop," Brooke snapped.

"No! I want to know. Did you sleep with him Haley?"

She felt the room begin to spin around  her, as Nathan's eyes observed her frantic own. She took shallow breaths.

"I didn't do anything," she finally confessed, as her mouth began to quiver.  "I wanted to. I tried. But I couldn't stop thinking about you."

His eyes widened.

"Happy now," she yelled at him, pushing her seat backwards, and fleeing the room.

"Nice going Romeo," Brooke gritted out, shooting an evil glare Nathan's way. "I'm gonna go check on her."

Haley sat on the lady room stall, anxiously cracking her knuckles. Of all things to say to Nathan, in front of all of her friends. Why did it have to be that? She didn't know whether she should feel foolish or stupid for her admission. Everything seemed so messed up. And the more everyone tried to fix it, the worse it got.

"Haley are you ok," Brooke called from the other side of the door.

"Define ok?"

Brooke blew out a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry about Nathan sweetie. He's a jackass."

"What's new," she gave a defeated shrug.

"Haley?......Why didn't you tell me about the Brad thing? I could've helped."

"Because it was a mistake. The only reason I even started talking to him that night was to make Nathan jealous. It was a stupid, and it backfired on me anyway. Now we're back to square one. He hates me, and I hate him, and that's ........I don't know anymore."

"Maybe you should try talking to him," Brooke offered as she walked into the stall beside Haley's and sat down.

"I have tried, it doesn't make any difference."

"Try again."

"I don't want to Brooke. I just want to go back to the way things were. When my life wasn't so complicated," she added, with false conviction.

"You mean when you sat back and watched life go by," Brooke through back at her.

Most of her life people had called Haley the goody-goody, the girl next door, the dependable one. And she'd just accepted that was her place in life. She was the go-to girl. But she also had dreams of her own. Goals and ambitions that most people didn't even take the time to pay attention too. 

"Just because I haven't dated half of the football team, and every frat boy on campus doesn't mean I watch my life go by," Haley yelled threw stone marble walls of the bathroom stall.

Brooke snorted out a sardonic laugh. "You spend so much time hiding from what you want Haley James, you might as well just be watching it!"

"You're wrong," she got up from the seat and pushed out into the open bathroom.

"You're scared," Brooke countered, followed her.

"Well I'd rather be scared than a Sl–," the word died on Haley's lips before she was even able to finish the horror of what she almost said, hit both of them like a ton of bricks.

They stared at each other for a moment before Haley averted her eyes away with uncertainty. Bolting out the door before Brooke could even manage a response.

...............................

**The winter night sky had** become a drizzling mix of blacks and greys, as raindrops began to fall lightly fall. Nathan stood outside the front doors of the steakhouse, his hands shoved deeply into his pockets as he paced, head down, around the sidewalk. He'd walked back forth on the same patch of concrete for the last twenty minutes, attempting to make any sense he could of Haley's words.

She'd meant them, that he knew. What they meant for them, he did not. He didn't even know if there was a _them_. Or if there should be.

It was when Nathan has made it to the end of the sidewalk for the hundredth time, that he saw Haley storm of the restaurant. Too busy putting on her coat to see him.

"So you're leaving first this time," he blurted out, trying to get her to stop.

She glanced back at him, and kept moving, ignoring his presence, intent on getting to her car. He ran to right after her.

"Haley wait up!"

"No," she shouted.

"I need to talk to you," he called, coming up in front of her and blocking her way. She tried to move around him but the effort was futile. And so she let her arms fall limp to her sides, as she met his eyes in anger.

"Oh now you want to talk. And see here I thought you didn't have time in your "schedule" to talk to people like me."

"It's not like that," he pleaded.

"Whatever," she shook her head, "I don't want to talk to you Nathan. I don't want to look at you. I don't want to be anywhere near you."

She tried to get to her car, but he wouldn't move. And Haley noticed how much Nathan really did tower over her. He was so much bigger than her, so much stronger, that if he really wanted to make her stay he didn't have to ask, not really. 

"I'm sorry ok, I am," he said softly.

"You say that a lot. Does it even mean anything?"

He shifted in front of her, uncomfortable as she watched him. "Things are rough right now for me. And I didn't mean to drag you into it."

Haley looked less that impressed. "I really hope that wasn't suppose to be an apology."

Nathan watched Haley search his face. He knew he needed to explain his behavior, for no other reason than that she deserved the truth. "It's not"

"Then what? What do you want?"

"The truth? I flunked out . Every class...I just stopped going. Didn't see the point really. I thought I was invincible, ya know? Here I was a freshman at Michigan State, playing on the starting line with Seniors, two and three years older than me, who were never gonna get drafted. I thought I could just blow off a class or two. Nobody would care. My coach would cover for me. And he did, in the beginning. Until I stopped going altogether........I got a letter in the mail right before Thanksgiving though. It was from the Dean of Admissions kindly letting me know that I was no longer welcome in the University," Nathan sucked in a breath of air and met Haley's eyes, they were withdrawn, distant "I know that doesn't mean anything to you, but it's my life. And I've fucked it up. Just like my entire family knew I would."

Haley didn't know what to say. Part of her heart broke for him, and also felt rectified as well. Nathan Scott finally getting a taste of his own medicine.  It should've felt more pleasing. But it didn't, it just hurt more really. He looked so lost inside of himself.  Ane she sat on the edge, with no clue of what to do. 

"I'm sorry for you Nathan. I am. But you make your own choices. We all do. And maybe you just made the wrong ones this time. I don't know. Either way that doesn't have anything to do with me," she made to him around him, and grabbed on to her arm to stop her.

" I told you because, I'm trying to apologize about......."

"About what? Sleeping with me and then leaving. Treating me like I'm below you? Accusing me of sleeping with Brad when everyone knows you're still screwing Theresa?...... Well don't. Just don't ok. I don't want to hear it," she stood still and waited for him let go of her arm.

He looked to ground, his whole posture sinking with him. He looked childlike in that instant. Almost shy, and vulnerable, a side of him Haley was sure, most people never got to see.

"I'm-I'm sorry that I hurt you."

"Then why did you do it?"

"You hurt me when you left with him. And so I wanted to hurt you," Nathan answered honestly, still grasping her arm, his grip not as tight this time. Haley glanced down at his hand and then back to his face, the reality of the situation becoming rather more confusing than less with Nathan's words.

"I don't get it Nathan. You don't want. You want me. You don't me, or you don't want anyone else to have me? This all too messed up. I can't deal with you or this anymore," Haley shouted, pulling her arm away, and pacing back and forth feverishly.

Nathan watched her quietly as she moved in front of him. Oddly enough, unable to move from his spot on the parking lot. His mind kept reverting back to her outburst at the table.

"But you said you couldn't stop—"

He broke in, but Haley spun around to face him. "I said I couldn't stop thinking about you. But I will."

The words stung more than he thought they would. Unprepared, he supposed for the inescapable rejection she was simply throwing back his way.

"You say that, but how do you know," he challenged.

"Because I know how to be happy," she through back at him.

"And I don't?"

"You may think your so unreadable Nathan. That no one can see what you don't let them see. You'd like to think you have that much control. But you don't. You spend so much time trying to make your parents happy. Trying to be better than Lucas, and everyone else that your completely miserable with yourself. And now you want everyone else to be miserable too."

Nathan's face clouded over as the realization of her words actually hit him. He felt to open in the darkness of the parking lot, her bright eyes observing him. It seemed pointless to argue with her. She 'd already made up her mind about him. And he didn't know where he stood. 

Taking a few steps backwards, Nathan glanced to his feet and then back up to her, as she continued to stay near her car. The distance between them felt like an ocean.

Gulping back a breath of air, Nathan shoved his hands back into his pockets were they belonged, and moved back a little more.

"Too bad the only time I wasn't miserable was with you," he uttered softly, not even looking at her, before he turned around and headed back into the restaurant. Haley left in the dark without him once

 again.


	19. Running on Empty

As always you guys have been great with the feedback. You know I love it! Hope you like this next chapter as well. So please tell me what you think. Got any favorite parts? Specific lines you liked? Do tell!!!

TOXIC 

Chapter 19

Running on Empty

_everything changes _

_everything falls apart _

_can't stand to feel myself losing control _

_deep in my senses I know_

_that you're no good for me_

_ but you're the only one I see_

~~Sarah McLachlan

**The last few days had** run together in a slow monotonous blur. Haley did her best to keep busy, stay out of everyone's way, anything to avoid her current situation and the fact that she frankly didn't know the first thing to do about handling it. She simply couldn't get over the impact a few simple words from one guy could have over her life.

Listlessly she wandered through the super market, her forearms resting on the bar of the shopping cart. She took a quick turn down the snack food isle, her eyes searching for the most delicious fattening, and ultimately satisfying food she could get her hands on.

When she turned the corner she saw Lucas grabbing a bags of Doritos and dutifully shoving them in his already full cart. 

Haley puffed out a laugh and rolled her eyes as she came up beside him. "Why do I always run into you at the strangest places?"

Lucas looked up from his cart and gave Haley a soft smile. "Cause we live in a small town?"

"Or maybe it's fate," she teased, propping her hand up in the cart to rest her chin on.

Lucas shook his head and chuckled. "Then fate's really screwing with our heads, cause I know I'm not the one you want to be running into right now," he said, his tone turning more somber as he watched her expression turn serious.

Haley brushed off his comment and looked down at his cart. "What's with all the food? You guys having a party, or did you just suddenly develop a serious fetish for nacho cheese Doritos?"

"Personally I prefer Ranch, but it's Nathan's New Year's party so he gets to pick the food," Lucas stated, giving his cart the once over.

Haley gave him skeptical look. "So how did you get roped into shopping then, may I ask?"

Lucas shrugged his shoulders, with a crooked smile. "He won a game of horse."

Haley shook her head at the male mind. Semi-consoled by the fact that certain things like the Scott brothers and their unique problem solving skills would always be a constant. 

"You should come tonight," Lucas offered with added conviction.

Haley tried not to laugh. "Are you joking?"

"Do I look like I'm joking?"

"You were there the last time I was in your home right? You did see how badly that ended up right," Haley asked him in awe of his proposal. The thought of even stepping foot into the Scott abode, seeming more absurd than the aspect of actually seeing Nathan.

"So what? I guarantee you no one in that room even remember's what happened that night anyway. They're all way too drunk and self-absorbed for that."

Haley bit her bottom lip, feeling her heart lurch inside her chest. She softly shook her head. "I can't Luke....you know I can't."

"Because of Nate," he asked in a low tone, his eyes understanding.

"Mostly."

Lucas contemplated Haley's slumped figure, the way her eyes drooped, the dullness in her hair were the shine use to be. She looked so sad, so different from the open, happy, free-spirited Haley he'd known. The one he'd gotten a short glimpse of the first night he'd come back into town.

"What," Haley asked him bluntly, when she noticed his uncertain stare. His questioning look.

"What? What."

She squinted her eyes at him, and rested her hands on her hips. "You want to say something to me. I can tell. What is it?"

Lucas stood silent for a moment. Unsure of how to start, he let out a heavy sigh. "I don't know what happened with you and Nathan. And that's ok with me. But I do know your not happy Hales. And neither is he."

"What am I supposed to do with that," Haley said, a world of turmoil inside of her.

"I have no clue," he answered truthfully. "Maybe you should talk to him, or come see him."

"You've been talking to Brooke haven't you," she asked defensively.

"Yeah I have. Maybe you should too."

"Umm no thanks. Brooke has her way of doing things. I have mine, and the two will never meet. It's just a fact."

"So you're just going to what....not talk to her ever again?"

"Who knows.. Why does it matter to you," she argued.

"Because I care about you both. And I don't want to see you in pain."

Haley stayed silent in front of him, insecure of what to say. She could see that he was in an awkward situation, they all were. Which just made everything so much harder.

"What do you want me to say Lucas," Haley asked in frustration.

"That you'll try to come by tonight," Lucas stated, knowing that just seeing Nathan might help her. Even if she didn't believe it to be true.

"I told you I can't," she snapped at him, irritated that he was trying to force her into something like this.

Frustrated by her words and her attitude, Lucas let out an audible groan, and traipsed back to his own cart, gripping the handle with fervor.

"Fine," Lucas said to her flatly. "Go ahead and do what you want Haley. I don't care."

"Well thank you for your permission Luke," she bit out sarcastically.

He gave her one last look before he started down the isle, "Yeah.....see ya around Haley."

...................................

**Haley waltzed into her apartment** around 7:35 pm. She could vaguely hear someone in the bathroom blow-drying their hair as she walked into the kitchen and placed her plastic bags on the counter.

She began sorting the refrigerated goods from the cabinet foods, when she heard the blow dryer click off. Peyton came into the room a moment later. Her hair straightened, her eyes smoky, her lips red.

"Whoo-hoo sexy la-dy," Haley hollered as Peyton laughed and did a little twirl for her, careful not twist her ankle on her studded heals.

 "What are you doing tonight?"

"Going out with my man," Peyton said jokingly, grabbing her purse from the night-stand, and looking through it.

"Anywhere special," Haley asked, coming from the kitchen.

"Nope. Just to a party."

"Where," she asked curiously.

Haley watched as Peyton continued to rummage through her purse. Finally digging out a compact and flipping it open to check her make-up.

Peyton snapped the compact shut a second later, and looked up at Haley with a uneasy expression. "Uh. At Nathan's house."

"Oh," was her only reply.

Peyton quickly tried to deflect the conversation away from the negative. "So.....do you have to work tonight?"

"Actually no," Haley chuckled, "The one night out of the year that I don't have anything to do, and I don't get scheduled to work. Why does it always happen that way?"

"Because it's one life's great ironies," Peyton replied, zipping up her bag, and setting it back down on the table.

"Agreed," Haley laughed.

 Peyton chuckled to herself, and shook her head. "You should of offered to switch with Brooke. I think she whined all last week when she found out she had to work New Years. She's even making Luke come and hang out there with her until she gets off. Poor guy."

"Yeah, sitting in a club with you girlfriend on New Years Eve. That sure is torture," Haley mocked lightly.

Peyton's face turned serious, and she began messing with the strap of her purse again. "I'd ask you to come to the party with us but......"

"Why waste your breath," Haley finished honestly.

Peyton semi-shrugged and waited a beat before coming closer to her friend. She knew she needed to stop bull-shitting around the subject that was obviously the forerunner in all of their minds "You doing ok Hales," she asked quietly, her eyes staring deep into Haley's.

"Yeah I'm-I'm great," Haley forced out, shifting on her feet.

"You don't have to lie to me, you know?"

"I'm not. I'm fine really....I'll be fine. Don't worry about me Peyt."

"But I do worry about you Haley. When I see my two best friends fighting and not talking to each other. And I see you hurting like this.  I want to help but I don't know what to do. It's driving me crazy."

"I wish I could give you some answers but I don't have any," Haley uttered.

 Peyton wasn't so sure. "That's the thing. You act like you don't even care if any of this gets fixed."

"Why is it always my responsibility to fix everything? Maybe I wasn't the one who was wrong!"

"I'm not saying it's all your responsibility. I'm just saying that the Haley I know hated fighting with her friends. And she would've done anything in her power to try to fix it."

"Well I'm tired of always being the one to apologize first.  Being the one to have to clean up everyone else's mess. Maybe you can do it for awhile."

"This isn't my fight Haley. I'm not getting in the middle between you two."

"Oh that's a big surprise. You never do," she whipped back at her harshly.

Peyton knew she was in a losing battle. So instead of feeding the fire she simply grabbed her purse off the table, and headed to the door.

"You know what Haley? I don't have time for this. I gotta go meet Jake. Have a fun night," she said with defeat, before walking out he door.

Haley stared at the spot Peyton had been only a moment earlier, and suddenly felt so completely alone. How had she isolated everyone in her life that she cared about? It seemed like there should be an easy answer to a question like that. Something she could take out of the equation to fix the situation. But the only thing that she saw as a problem was her. Of course she could blame Nathan for her own hurt feelings, but not Brooke's, or Luke's, or even Peyton's. She'd done that all on her own.

Haley never wanted to be the kind of person that hurt other people. She never wanted to make people feel less than they were, because God knew she'd felt enough of that through out her own life. And she was starting to believe that maybe even Nathan, had done his share of feeling that way as well.

Still there was just so many questions when it came to the both them. How did he feel? What did he want? Who did he want? Haley's head hurt from the constant merry-go-round of thoughts that had been spinning around in her mind over the last month. She wanted everything to be clear again. Just to feel free again. And Nathan was that answer.

With much trepidation, Haley wondered into her room, and shed her clothes, picking out a more suitable outfit. She reapplied her makeup and fixed her hair, until everything set just right upon her face and body. She looked herself over in the mirror not particularly satisfied with the reflection staring back at her, but decided this was as good as it was going to get.

.............................

Thirty minutes later, Haley slowly made her way into the Scott abode, the very familiar feeling that she'd seen this scene once before, flashing through her mind.

"Yo, what's up Tutor giiiirrll? Want a drink?" an inebriated Tim yelled to her with a smile, the second she walked through the door.

Haley gave him a disdainful look, and searched the a room for more friendly face.

"Do you know were Nathan is," she asked dryly, when it was obvious to her that the large amount of people she'd have to waft through to find either Peyton or Jake, would be almost impossible.

Tim laughed, his face breaking into a wild smirk. "Why do you ask?"

"Because I need to talk to him," she answered condescendingly, looking around at the passing faces.

"About what," he pried.

"About none of your business," she scowled at him defensively.

"Well I guess we could come to an arrangement of some sorts," he slurred, with a lecherous smile. Coming up behind her to whisper in her ear. "You tell me why you have to talk to him , and I'll tell you where he is. Or you know you could just give me a—," Haley slapped her hand over Tim's mouth, her eyes squinted.

"You do not want to finish that sentence. I promise you."

Tim cowered at the veritable flames seeping through her eyes. "He's up in his room." He pointed the way.

"Thank you." Haley let her arm fall back to her side, and flashed a courteous smile, as she stepped away from Tim and into the crowd.

The closer she got to his door, the more she could feel her stomach tie it itself into knots.  She kept thinking that maybe her decision to come tonight was n't such a good idea after all. 

She stood in front of his cherry wood door and stared at the gold doorknob. She had no clue what she was going to say or do once she went inside that room, and she was terrified to find out. She took in a breath of air, and closed her eyes, trying to find the strength to knock. She opened her eyes again, and felt just as lost as before.

This wasn't working, She needed some help. She needed some liquid courage.

Rushing back down the stairs Haley caught up with Tim in the kitchen and grabbed onto his shirt pulling him toward her. 

"What," Tim looked at her strangely.

"Yeah about that drink....."

........................

Haley was on her fifth Screwdriver, by the time she realized she was ready to find Nathan. Quickly she jumped off the stool she was sitting on, and suddenly felt her stomach drop. Not a good feeling. Not a good feeling at all.

Need air first, she thought as she passed by the stairs and went onto the back porch. The cold winter air, floated in a white cloud in front of her face as she breathed in and out. Wrapping her arms around her thinly clothed covered arms Haley leaned back against the house, closed her eyes, and just appreciated the silence of the night, despite the bitter cold.

A soft rustle came from the opposite end of the porch, and Haley titled her head back to look at Nathan's lone figure sitting in one the metal chairs that adorned the porch. 

"So you decided to show up after all. I don't whether I should be excited or annoyed," he replied curtly, his face devoid of any emotion.

Haley tried to think clearly through the fog her brain was creating. She moved closer to him. "I didn't come here to fight with you Nathan."

"Then why did you come," he asked, gulping back a swig of the drink he held in his hand.

It was an honest question. Haley wasn't sure  how to answer it. 

Nathan got up from his chair indignantly and started to pass her back into the house.

"I wanted to see you....that's why came," she blurted out, causing him to stop mid step.

He turned around, a small smile on his lips. Haley watched as he came closer to her, his eyes searching hers. The overwhelming smell of alcohol mixing in the air between them.

Nathan leaned down slightly, his body hovering over hers, as he breathed in her in. "Is that right?"

Haley felt his hand come up and tenderly touch her cheek. The smooth callouses on his fingers grazing her skin, driving shivers through her body. She didn't know what she was doing. And when he touched her like that, she didn't want to care.

"We need to talk Nathan," she whispered against his hand.

Nathan's eyes grew heavy as he watched her lean into his touch. "We are talking," he mumbled, slipping his arms around her waist and bringing her to his body.

Haley instinctively let her body relax against his, as she arched her head back up to meet his gaze. For a moment they just stared at each other, really looked at each other for the first time. As if they were trying to read the others thoughts.

"Did you mean what you said the other night," Haley asked, breaking the silence.

Nathan kept his blue eyes locked on hers, "Yes," he murmured, leaning down farther. Haley didn't know if it was the alcohol taking over her mind or Nathan's body against her, but when he said that one little word she couldn't hold herself back any longer.

She crushed her lips to his, wrapping her arms around his neck. Nathan in turn pulled her body flush against his, enveloping her with his whole being. Their lips battled against each other, as their hands played softly against each other's face.

Haley let out a small moan when Nathan dropped his mouth down onto her neck, trailing heated feathered kisses against her skin. She dragged her hands through his hair, feeling the velvety texture slide through her fingers.

When Nathan pulled his mouth back up to hers, the impact of his kiss made Haley lose her footing, causing them both to fall back against the house. She felt her back slam against the brick wall, and winced in pain.

Nathan pulled away from her, his eyes more lust filled than before. "Come here," he lulled, taking her by the hand.

Haley did as he instructed and put her hand into his, as he led them back into the house. Everything seemed to swirl around her in a blur. Everything and everyone was moving in a slow hazy rhythmic motion.

When they made it upstairs the door to Nathan's room opened, and he drew her inside, shutting it behind him, and enrapturing her again.

"I want you now," he breathed into her ear kissing her passionately. Haley kissed him back with added fervor and let herself fall onto his bed, continuing to touch him all over. Helping her push herself farther back on the bed, Nathan began to undo the zipper on Haley's top.

While he was doing that, she began pulling one of his top shirts off, as he continued to rain kisses down upon her face neck and collarbone. She could feel her face become flush and her breath become rapid, as he rubbed his arousal against the inside of her thigh.

With an added amount of effort Nathan finally got the rest of her shirt undone, exposing her stomach and back laced bra. He looked down at her body for a second and then settled back on her face. Letting himself fall into her eyes.

Haley pulled him down for another searing kiss, her hands running up and down the muscles of his back.  She reached down and found the end of his t-shirt, grabbing the hem, and slowly pulling it up his bare back, so that she could see the ripples of his stomach.

Nathan moved away from her, and hurriedly yanked his top all the way off. Then quickly returning to her, he let his body meet hers, for the second time. He started to deepen the kiss he'd just began, when someone came through his closed door.

"Hey man do you know where th—," the words fell short on Vegas' mouth the instant he saw the couple laying on the bed.

Nathan and Haley both paused, staring back at  the intruder with open eyes.

Vegas tried to appear apologetic, but as he saw Haley his eyebrows quirked up and he squinted at her unbelieving. "Dude is that---?"

Nathan glanced back at to her and lowered his head for a split moment. "What do you want Vegas," he snapped out.

Vegas went serious. "Um nothin,' never mind."

"Then get the Hell out of my room."

Vegas nodded with another smile, and closed the door behind him quietly.  Nathan glared at the empty room in front of him and let his head fall back. "Shit."

Quietly he turned back toward Haley, who'd been watching him the entire time. The fog inside of her brain starting to lift.

"Sorry about that," he grumbled, as she sat up on the bed, using her arms to cover herself.

Haley heard the tone in his voice as the words left his mouth. The shame in his whole body was unmistakable. "Sorry about what? Getting interrupted? Or getting caught," she asked bluntly, beginning to put her shirt back on.

Nathan watched as she tried to get up off his bed. He grabbed her arm, "I didn't mean it like that."

"Yes you did. I can see it all over your face Nathan. You're ashamed to be with me........ You know what? I'm done. You're not worth this," she through out and saw him immediately flinch. Pulling  her arm free she stormed out of his room.

Nathan grabbed his t-shirt off the bed, and yanked it over his head, running after Haley down the hall. "Haley! Haley stop. Stop!"

She refused to listen to him, despite the yearning in her heart to do so. She made it to the end of the stairs, the noise of the party and bright lights jutting up from the darkness of the hallway.

Nathan caught her before she could step down. "I don't want it to be like this. Not with you," he said to her honestly. His heart open for her.

"This is so messed up. I can't so this anymore. I can't be around you anymore Nathan. All we do is hurt each other," she replied, as she felt the walls around her slip away. Haley wanted to see the good in Nathan, in what they could have together, but all she could see was the pain. She knew needed to get out there.

As Haley tired to move down the stairs Nathan pushed his way in front of her. His face pleading. "Don't leave like this please. I know you don't want to go. I know you want me, just as much as I want you."

"You don't want me Nathan," Haley countered. "You want what I can do for you. And that's sex.......You don't even know me. How the hell could you want me? You don't know my middle name, or how I got this scar on my elbow, or what my favorite movie is. You don't know that I've always wanted to eat in a 50's style diner, or go snow-boarding, or that I love to sing. You couldn't know that stuff, because we aren't friends, we're not even acquaintances, and were certainly not a couple. Those kinds pf people would know that about me. If you were boyfriend I wouldn't even have to ask what my favorite anything was, because you'd already know.  Because good boyfriend's pay attention to the important stuff........ But you're not my boyfriend, or even my friend. So how can you say you want me? When we both know all you want is sex. And for some reason doing it with me, when you know your friends and family don't approve gives you some kind of thrill. Well I'm sorry I don't want to be just another one of your fuck buddies Nathan. I'm better than that." 

Nathan stood in awe of Haley's outpouring. "I don't want you to be my fuck buddy," he answered angrily.

"Then go down there right now and tell someone, anyone how you feel about me," she challenged him.

Nathan looked at her, and then down at the crowd below. He didn't move. He didn't speak. He looked away, and that was enough of an answer of her.

When she tried to leave this time, he let her, watching as she quietly floated down the staircase, and out of his house.

Haley didn't even realize what time it was when she made it back home that night. All she could see was the hall light come on the second she entered her apartment.

A groggy Brooke stepped out of her bedroom, and glanced at Haley's numb form by the door.

"What time is it," she asked rubbing at her eyes.

"I don't know," Haley replied numbly, staring at the ground.

Brooke could see that something wasn't right. "Haley, what's going on?"

"I knew it would be like this. I knew it would end this way. But I just........."

"What happened Brooke questioned with obvious concern.

Haley tried to bite back her emotions, as she connected eyes with her friend.  "I'm sorry Brooke. I'm sorry I'm such a shitty friend, and that I hurt you, cause I never wanted to do that.  And I hate that I did. Can you forgive me?.......Please.....can we not fight anymore," Haley choked out with a sob.

Brooke could see her friend coming apart in front of her, and it broke her heart. She came up to Haley and pulled her into a tight hug. Haley let her head drop against Brooke's shoulder as the tears she'd been holding for so long finally began to fall.


	20. Finding What's Real

A/N: Sorry, sorry, sorry for the long update. My computer has been really wacky for me as of late, and I also had a problem with the disk that this chapter was on, and so it ended up getting erased. But all is well now, so please read on and enjoy!

Also if you have some free time, go check out the **TANGLED WEB AWARDS** at geocities.com and you can vote for me for **Reader's Choice Vote**. Or you can just read some more awesome OTH fanfic. Hope everyone has a fabulous day!!!!

TOXIC

Chapter 20

Finding What's Real

**It had been a mistake**, letting her walk out that door. Nathan knew that. He knew he should have said something to stop he, something to show her how he felt, that's all she was asking for after all. But he couldn't seem to find the words. A crippling mix of fear and pride prevented him from doing everything and anything, but the one thing he really wanted to do.

It was becoming almost like a pattern for him now. Find something good, and then completely screwing it up in every way possible. The more Nathan looked at himself recently the more he saw a person he didn't like anymore. He never wanted to be the guy who made girls cry, or shut out his friends, or sat in the background sullen and depressed. Yet that's exactly what he'd been doing lately, and it made him feel sick in the pit of his stomach. It was like the harder he tried to get away from becoming his father, the faster he did just that. And he knew if he continued on this path, he'd be just another broken man in the Scott lineage. 

He didn't want to end up that lost in himself. That devoid of emotion and love. He didn't want to be that alone. Because Nathan knew despite the tons of people Dan Scott always had surrounding him, he was alone inside.  A fully grown man, alone and still afraid.

 The question was: How was a person supposed to change though? There was never a clear-cut answer, or a certain guide you could follow in trying to be a better man. It had to come from within, and Nathan didn't know if he had that kind of strength in him. Sure in the moment, laying in his bed and staring at the ceiling in the comfort of his own room, it all appeared so easy. But things are never as easy as they seem. Hell, Nathan had made such a colossal mess of pretty much everything in his life he didn't know where to start off first.

Desperately trying to fall back into the depths of sleep, and forget for a second how much damage he had created, Nathan close his eyes. He laid silently still, as the sun peeked through the bottom of his curtains. He knew sleep was an impossibility now that he'd woken up, yet like most things in his life he tried to fight against it.

With an exhausted groan he sat up, and looked at his wall clock, the time reading 7:55 a.m. This was the fifth day in a row he'd only gotten a few hours of sleep. He felt like an insomniac going to bed at five in the morning and the waking up at eight. Sleep was such a nice way of avoiding the world, and all it's problems. Yet he wasn't able to use that escape. Maybe it was his subconscious punishing him for his actions.  He didn't know.

What he did know, was that he couldn't sit around and think about school, or his life, or Haley anymore. All the mistakes and bad choices, he'd made felt like they were suffocating him. He didn't want to deal with any of it. He just wanted everything to fix itself.

And he knew it never would.

...................

**Lucas let out a long** yawn and as he made his way downstairs and into the kitchen for some breakfast. The house seemed deserted for the time being, which meant his parents had already gone off to work for the day. Leisurely Lucas headed over to the refrigerator and opened it up. He scanned the shelves in search of something, but wasn't satisfied with what was there. As he closed the refrigerator back up, Nathan came into the kitchen and quickly began busying himself.

"You're up early," Lucas mentioned, heading over to the pantry.

"I've got a meeting with my advisor today," he stated plainly.

"For Bayview?"

"Yeah."

"You want to get some food with me and Jake after you're done."

"Nah. I should probably hit the gym. Dad's been on my case again about my conditioning," he answered with disdain.

Lucas shook his head. "You've been at the gym every day this week man. Come on, take a break."

"Can't," he shrugged, simply, honestly, because he knew this was his responsibility.

Lucas could see the resolve on his brother's face, and chose not to fight it. He could tell Nathan needed time to figure things out. This whole situation with and Haley was obviously tearing him up inside. He didn't need an expert to tell him that. He felt for Nathan, and he wanted to help, but his brother never let people help him. Not outright anyway.

"Well if you change your mind, give me a call later," Lucas added friendly.

Nathan glanced up at the sibling he'd spent the better part of his life trying to compete with, and let a small grateful smile splay across his face. "Sure," he said, before gathering what he needed and going back the way he came.

...............................

**The sun was warm against** Haley's face, despite the cold as she peered down at the shops spread out before her. She cringed. "Why am I here," she groaned, waking in between Peyton and Brooke, as they roamed through the stores of a nearby strip mall.

"Because shopping soothes the soul, my friend," Brooke placated, rubbing Haley softly on the back as she simultaneously took noted of each cute item she wanted to back and try on.

Haley rolled her eyes. "No, ice cream soothes the soul Brooke. Double chocolate fudge ice cream to be exact."

"Trust me, after you slip on some sexy red tops and a great pair of jeans you'll see what I mean," she quipped, linking her arms with both girls.

Haley let Brooke lug her forward, and Peyton just laughed at Brooke's ability to be so chipper. The last few days had been draining to say the least. Haley had been a complete mess New Years Eve, and Peyton had come home early that morning to discover her two friends cuddled up on the living room couch. Brooke comforting Haley as best she could despite the tears. The following days hadn't gotten much better and it seemed that their first dual attempt to bring Haley back to the land of the living wasn't blooming with success either.

Brooke squealed at an outfit she saw in a passing window, and pulled Haley in the store with her, pulling Peyton out of her thoughts as she followed behind her grumpy friend. Going straight to the skirts, Brooke momentarily left her two friends behind for a quick breather.

"So what classes are you taking next semester," Peyton asked, trying to lighten the mood, when she noticed Haley's eyes drifting off again.

"Umm Advanced Calc, Ethics 104, Latin American History and Educational Psychology," Haley replied half-heartedly. She watched as Brooke skimmed through a rack of black skirts, taking a few off and then popping onto the next rack excitedly.

Peyton nodded. "Did you get David' for Ethics? Cause I heard he can be a real jackass."

"I think so. I'm not positive though......Did you make a decision on that art class yet," Haley switched the conversation away from her.

Peyton shrugged, and bit the side of her lip. "I don't know. Jake says I should wait if I'm not ready. My dad says there's no time like the present. I just don't know Haley. What if I'm not good enough?"

Haley smiled, and pulled a stray strand of hair out of her eyes. "I've seen your art work Peyton. Believe me.  You're good enough."

With another nod, Peyton smiled back at her friend with ease, as they continued to follow Brooke around the store in silence.

"Are either of you going to try anything on," Brooke called from across the store. Haley and Peyton both shook their heads no, and Brooke just rolled her eyes and waved them off, before she went into a nearby dressing room.

Haley mindlessly skimmed through a few racks, as Peyton followed behind her. "So this thing with you and Jake........"

"Is good," she replied with contentment. "I mean, I didn't plan on it, and I wasn't looking for it, but I guess that's when the most unexpected things happen right/"

Haley knew the truth of that statement probably better than anyone. "Yeah," she said, "they do."

Brooke came out of the dressing room a few minutes later and traveled toward the cashier, with a smaller pile that she had initially started with. Haley and Peyton waited near the front of the store, ready to leave.

"When does Jake leave for school," Haley asked off hand. Wanting anything to keep her mind off the obvious.

"On Sunday I think. I'm not ready for him to go back yet. Hell I'm not ready to go back yet."

"Go back where," Brooke asked coming up behind them two bags in hand.

"School," Haley supplied, walking ahead.

"Are you guys talking about school already? Give me break. We have four days left of freedom ok. No more talk of school, or boys or anything related all right? We're gonna have fun shopping, and doing girlie things dammit," Brooke declared, as all three girls walked together down the side walk.

Brooke went to move forward a minute later, when she felt a strange arm come around her waist and pull her back. 

"Hey you," Lucas said, planting a peck on her lips, causing her to giggle.

Haley and Peyton noticing their lost companion turned around and watched the happy couple.

"Well that certainly didn't last long," Haley throughout.

"Didn't think it would anyway," Peyton added, and they both laughed.

"You think we can go home now that he's here," Haley whispered to Peyton, with a tight-lipped smile.

"I don't know. She might try to track us down. We better wait. "

"Damn, and I was really hoping this was my chance to get to go home," Haley mumbled, with a tried tone.

Peyton looked over at her friend and wrapped her arm around the petite girl's shoulder. "Come on Mary Sunshine lets get some of that ice cream you were talking about."

"Don't you want to go hang out with Jake?"

"What? And miss the doom and gloom?" Peyton squeezed her shoulder comfortingly.

Haley laughed, "Ice cream it is then. But you're paying," she pointed up with a teasing smile.

"Oh of course," Peyton replied, as they made their way down the block.

Brooke watched her friends traveling farther away and tried to pull out of Lucas's grasp. "What are you doing here?"

"Meeting Jake for lunch. You want to come with," he asked pulling her back toward him with a grin.

"I shouldn't. We're doing this whole shopping thing with Haley, and she needs us right now. Maybe tomorrow?"

Lucas looked down hesitantly. "Yeah, speaking of Haley. I was wondering if you could do me a favor?"

"Like what?"

"Like....possibly talk to Nathan for me," Lucas asked, sticking his hand in his pockets.

Brooke shook her head vigorously. "I am not, let me repeat NOT, getting involved here. No,. no, and no.

"Please Brooke. I need your help. I don't know what to do," Lucas plead to her and Brooke was confused.

Her eyes opened wide. "I don't get it. You guys have never been that close. Why the Hell do you want me to talk to _him_ now?"

He sucked in a breath of air, and clamped his mouth shut, and then opened it slowly. "Because he's really hurting."

"Well cry me a river."

"I'm serious. I've never seen him this fucked up about anything. Especially a girl. He's spiraling."

Brooke gave Lucas an irritated look. "So Satan Jr. actually has a conscience. Are we suppose to pity him now?"

"No."

"Then what Lucas? What do you want me to do? Cause right now I could give a shit whether he's hurting or not," Brooke said with conviction, taking some of her aggression for Nathan out on Lucas.

And Lucas could see where Brooke was coming from; he felt bad for asking putting his girlfriend in this position. But he also knew that Brooke was one of the most honest people he'd ever met. She could put people in their place, and tell them like it is. He wasn't going to push though. It was her choice, and as much as he was use to getting his way, this time, Lucas wanted to be the bigger man and let her make it.

With a soft kiss to the side of her cheek, Lucas gave Brooke a solemn smile, and looked down at his watch realizing he was already late. "I don't want to fight with you about this. If you don't want to talk to him, then don't. But think about it all right? I'll give ya call tomorrow."

Brooke gave him a nod, and watched as he turned around and went down the block the opposite way, the whole time wondering how either of the Scott men had managed to worm their way into her life, and this time into her heart.

...............................

**It was later that afternoon** as Lucas was pulling back up into his parents drive way that he saw Nathan, Tim, and Vegas packing boxes of food and alcohol into the back of Nathan's black SUV. Lucas jumped out of his own car and went over to where Nathan was standing by his trunk, situating the boxes.

"What's going on," he asked.

Nathan stayed busy, not spearing his brother a look. "I'm taking a few things over to the beach house tonight."

"For what?"

"For a par-tay," Tim announced loudly, shoving another box in the back, where an open space had been made.

Lucas chose not to grant Tim any attention, and instead turned toward Nathan. "You just had a party on Monday man."

"So," Nathan said, as if it was the most normal behavior ever.

"So don't you think you're going a little overboard?"

"Not really," he replied, moving back toward the house, semi-ignoring his brother.

Lucas followed him in frustration, and watched as Nathan went into the kitchen, picked up a huge case of beer, and began traveling back outside to his car. "Do you think drinking is really gonna help fix your life right now," he asked frankly.

Nathan knew he was right, but didn't want to listen to Lucas of all people try to tell him what to do. Not today. "Probably not, but it sure as Hell makes it more interesting," he replied, blowing his brother off.

Lucas tired to say something else, but was at a total loss for words. If Nathan wanted to self destruct, he couldn't stop him. In the end he had to make his own choices, his own mistakes. Lucas watched as Nathan and the other boys jumped into his SUV and sped out of the drive way, onto the street, and down the block, before he could even blink his eyes.

.........................

**Tim, Vegas and Nathan wandered** through the isles of K-Mart haphazardly, talking and laughing about their plans for their party. They decided to make a quick stop in front of the condoms, before moving onto the alcohol.

"So what do you think man, regular or ribbed," Vegas asked thumbing through the boxes.

"Dude I don't care, just pick something," Nathan muttered, resting his arms on the front of the grocery cart.

Tim stood still debating, tapping his foot lightly on the ground. Nathan watched him in irritation for a moment, and then snapped. "Hurry up," he ground out.

"Ok....here, got it," Tim grabbed the same thing Vegas had chosen only moments earlier, and turned to face him. When Brooke came around the corner an instant later, she gave all three boys a disinterred glance, but didn't move forward.

"Hey Brooke," Tim squeaked out, giving her what he probably thought was a sexy smile.

Brooke didn't acknowledge his greeting simply glared at Nathan. "I need to talk to you," she bit out, waiting for a response.

"What, are you stalking me now," Nathan asked with a sardonic laugh.

"Only in your dreams baby," she replied with an edge to her voice that showed no humor.

Nathan tried to brush her off and move forward but she grabbed onto his arm, and looked up at him with malignant eyes. "But like I said before. I need to talk to you......ALONE," she enunciated her last word, looking at the other two boys expectantly.

"I'm busy Brooke," Nathan answered with irritation.

"That's all very nice and well Nathan, and I'll let you get back to perusing the prophylactic isle as soon as we talk."

Nathan knew she was never going to let him go, before she said her peace, and to be honest he was in no mood to argue. "Get the beer man, I 'll meet you in the front."

Vegas gave him a heads up and made his way down the isle and out of sight, leaving an oblivious Tim watching them. In a last ditch effort to make Tim get a clue, Brooke snatched his box of Trojans from his hand and held them in front of him waving it back and forth. "Here, here doggie, go fetch," she taunted, throwing the box down to the end of the isle with a smirk.

Tim looked to Nathan for help, but got none, and so simply looked at Brooke with contempt, raising his hand up and flipping her off as he passed her.

"Yeah, love you to babe," she sing-songed, watching him leave.

Nathan observed their little interaction with mild amusement, turning back to the condoms once he lost interest. 

"Nathan.......NATHAN," Brooke yelled, at him to get his attention when he failed to heed to her calling, she smacked him on the back of the head, hard.

"Oww," he cried out, rubbing his shoulder. "Jesus Christ. What do you want Brooke? I'm trying to buy condoms here," he lied.

"And for what purpose exactly?"

The urge to attack her with a nasty comeback was overwhelming, but he didn't want to deal with a more pissed off Brooke than he already had now, so he let it go. "None of your damn business," he turned to face her straight on. The familiar feeling of how they used to argue before hit him, and he suddenly wondered why they'd spent so much time in a relationship they were never happy in.

"Actually it is. And if you'd been paying the slightest amount of attention to this current chaos you've dragged us all into then you'd know it definitely is my business," she countered fiercely. 

"Oh and why is that," Nathan asked.

"Because you're fucking with my best friend Nathan and I'm sick of it. You need to decide what you want to do and now."

Nathan could see that she was out for blood, and right then he didn't think he could handle another person in his life telling him how much of a screw up he really was.  He couldn't tell Brooke that though. He didn't know how, and so he did the only thing he knew was safe, and that was to walk away. "Get a life Brooke."

Brooke watched as Nathan started down the isle, letting him make it half down before she spoke. "Are you happy Nathan? I mean really, truly happy?"

"What does it matter to you," he asked, stopping where he stood, but refusing to turn around and face her.

"Honestly, it doesn't. Because I don't care what happens to you. But you know who does? Haley. And so I'm going to let you in on a little secret."

"Oh please tell me quick," Nathan looked at Brooke and laughed in a mocking tone. "I can't handle the suspense."

She couldn't believe the audacity of him. She couldn't understand what Haley ever saw in him, what she ever saw in him. Brooke wanted to believe that there was some good in Nathan. That this act that he put on really was just a defense mechanism to keep people out, but right now she wasn't so sure. "You really do deserve all the shit you bring upon yourself Nathan. No wonder you hate your life so much."

"Whatever Brooke, I'll see ya later," he started to move away again.

"If you want to leave and go be with all the other snotty little bitches like yourself then fine. But I suggest you listen and learn. Haley cares about you. And for some un-god-known reason she wants to be with you, and that gives you power Nathan. Whether you know it or not, because if there's one thing I've learned about Haley it's that if she loves you. You can destroy her. Time to quit playing around Nate," Brooke finished, walking passed him down the isle and out of the store.


	21. Higher Ground

Wow!! Thanks for so much great feedback guys I love it. Keep it coming !! Here's the next chapter hope you like, and the next update will have more n/h scenes I promise!!

TOXIC

Chapter 21

Higher Ground

**The lingering smell of booze** followed Nathan as he traipsed out of the party and onto the beach. The sky was a deep gray as the storm clouds above swirled around, causing the ocean waves to crash together in a thunderous roar. Despite the noise Nathan thought it anything was more peaceful than the sound of 40 drunk twenty-year-olds, trashing his father's house.

He inhaled a breath of cold air, hard goose bumps popped up all over his body as he treaded further out on the beach, away from the light of the houses. His tennis shoes sunk into the snow cover sand, and he stuck his hands inside of his hooded sweatshirt, silently cursing himself for not grabbing a jacket in his hurry to get away from the madness. It was ironic, he'd been the one to initiate the party in the first place, he'd been the one to make sure people were coming over, and now he just wanted them to disappear. He didn't know what he was getting tired of more, the people, of the atmosphere, or both. All he'd done since he'd turned sixteen years old was party, play basketball, and attempt to skate by everything else. It just didn't seem like enough anymore.

As he walked further and further from his house different thoughts began to plague his mind. Over the years Nathan had watched his older brother slowly make something of himself, not only on the Dukes' basketball team, but also in school. How did you live up to that? How did you compete with that? It seemed like he couldn't answer that question no matter how many times he continued to ask himself. Right in the moment, it wasn't his biggest worry either. Coming up near the docks, Nathan jumped up on the edge and sat down, staring forward at the black ocean. It was more majestic in the darkness, more magical, but most things were, as he was coming to learn.

Closing his eyes, and resting his elbows on his knees, Nathan placed his head in his hands and tried to breathe. It felt suffocating, letting other people always run his life. He didn't know why he let his friends or his father's opinion dictate what he wanted. He didn't know if he could stop this addiction for approval either, but he wanted to try. He just......didn't know how. Taking another deep breath in, Nathan felt the soft material of a jacket fall on top of his head. He looked up to see Lucas standing behind him on the dock.

"Thought you'd want that," Lucas said, gesturing to the jacket he'd thrown to him.

"Thanks," Nathan replied quietly, fitting his arm threw the jacket whole.

Lucas came to where Nathan was sitting leaned and against the opposite side of the dock a few feet away, his eyes drifting to the ocean as well. For a moment both brothers stayed in silent repose.

"So why did you come," Nathan asked finally, his eyes focused on the beach.

"What do you mean?"

"Here. Tonight. I thought you didn't want anything to do with this," he waved his arm back to the house, where people were standing outside with drinks in their hands, obnoxiously mingling with each other.

"I'm not against a good party Nate. I just don't think you should be getting drunk and hanging out when you've got other things going on," Lucas responded, coming to stand next to Nathan on the dock, resting his forearms on the wood.

Nathan bit the side of his cheek.  His body tensing up. "If you came out here to send me some message from Dad,  save it all right. You can go back to doing his bidding tomorrow."

"Dad didn't say anything man. I just wanted to see how you were doing,"Lucas expressed sincerely.

Nathan shook his head and laughed. "Since when do you care what's going on with me," Nathan bit out, spinning around and jumping off his seat and onto the dock.

"I care. It may not seem that way, but I do," Lucas countered at his brother's stubbornness.

"Oh of course I can tell. It's cause we've always been so close, right _Luke_," Nathan retorted, with a sardonic tone, standing face to face with the other man.

"No, you were too busy shutting me out. But whatever. If you don't want to talk that's cool with me. Go inside and get drunk by yourself, doesn't change anything," he said matter-of-factly.

Nathan watched as Lucas jumped up onto the dock where he'd been and sat down, facing out toward the ocean. He looked to the beach house and back at his brother, knowing he had to pick the lesser of two evils. With a heavy sigh, Nathan moved back to the dock, and quietly took a seat next Lucas.

"So did I tell you Dad offered me the Beach house for the rest of the semester," Nathan admitted collectedly a minute later, as he fiddled with the zipper on his jacket.

Lucas puffed out a laugh. "I get a B + average, and I'm stuck in a dorm with a guy who thinks washing his socks means setting them by the window to "air out." You flunk out, and get to stay in a three-bedroom beach house. Now tell me again how I'm the favorite," he said jokingly.

Nathan let a smile creep up on his face. "I'm sure Dad would probably offer to buy you a house if you asked him too."

"Doubt it. He's gotta make sure at least one of us is suffering."

"It is his main goal in life."

"Pretty much," they both laughed again. It seemed weird how family dysfunction was always the most amusing element to bond over.

Nathan shook off his laughter as he became more serious again. "Yeah but I'm not gonna take it."

"Take what?"

"The beach house. I don't want it. And I really don't want to feel like I owe him something for it you know?"

Lucas nodded. If there was anything they could agree on, Dan's ability to try to control them was  it. "So where are you staying?"

"An apartment most likely. It's too late to get into a dorm now, and I don't really want too anyway. Guess I'll just have stick it out at home for a few weeks until I decide," he said, as if he was planning things out in his head, calculating how he was going to get it all done. The responsibility weighed down upon him heavily.

"Is it just me, or was college supposed to be more fun and less....I don't know.... work," Lucas asked, and they both let out a knowing laugh.

"They really don't tell you about all the homework in the brochures."

"No they don't," Lucas laughed again

"Maybe we should write a letter," Nathan grinned.

"Or give them a phone call," he added.

"Yeah I like that idea better."

"You would."

Nathan elbowed Lucas in the side, as they both chuckled, "Shut-up man."

They fell into that comfort zone of silence again, as they both stared out to the beach. It was easier not to talk about the subject that was currently affecting them, and the other people in their life. It was easier just to ignore it, and pretend that it would go away. Lucas didn't want to pretend anymore though. And he didn't want Nathan to have to either.

"Brooke told me she talked to you today," the words spilled out of Lucas's mouth awkwardly. It wasn't the most smooth transition he'd ever attempted, but that didn't matter. The subject was hanging above them like an angry rain cloud that was ready to explode, and if one of them didn't bring it up sooner or later, that cloud was going to burst into a million different pieces. Where they then wouldn't be able to figure out how to begin.

Nathan began twiddling with his zipper again, pulling it up an inch, bringing it down three, and then repeating the process. His eyes fixed on his fingers as they worked. He didn't know how to respond to his brother's statement. "Yeah, what did she say?"

"Not much. Just that you don't know what the Hell you're doing, and Haley deserves much better," he answered, seeing Nathan's eyes flicker shut, and his jaw tightened.

"Yeah......yeah......," Nathan nodded in response, not really sure what to say or do, and knowing Brooke was so right, it scared him.

Lucas observed Nathan's stiff posture, "Do you want to talk about this man?"

"No. Yes. I don't know," he shrugged uneasily.

Lucas continued to watch as Nathan ran a ridged hand through his hair, and then leaned forward, resting his arms on his legs, as he looked out into the ominous dark of the night.

"I failed all my classes, got kicked out of school and one of the best teams in the country, came home, completely screwed up any chance I had of ever being with Haley. I've got nowhere to go. I don't want to be here and I don't want to leave. I don't' know what I'm doing anymore," he said out loud, not really speaking to Luke, or anyone else. Just saying all of the things that had been bottled up inside of him for the last five weeks.

When Lucas brought up a tentative hand to pat his brothers back, Nathan broke out of his trance. He looked back at Lucas in slight embarrassment. It wasn't every day that he spilled his guts to people, especially his sibling. He thought it would be more weird, to share things with his sometime enemy, and brother. But it wasn't, it was relieving.

"It'll get better Nate," Lucas through in.

Nathan laughed softly, at his brother's advice. "And how would you know," he asked teasingly.

"Because I'm smart like that."

"You'd like to think so."

"Well....._ye-ah_," Lucas chuckled, tightening his jacket around his body again, as a cold swift breeze rushed over both of them. Again Lucas looked over to Nathan. "Seriously though, it'll get better. You just gotta take one thing at a time."

"It sounds easy when you say it like that. But I don't know. I think I've pretty much fucked up any chance I had with Haley."

Lucas shook his head back and forth. "You give up really easy Nate."

"No I don't."

"Yeah you do."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do."

"Fine. Tell me how then. Tell me how I give up so easily," Nathan challenged Lucas defiantly.

"Well I don't know a whole lot about your situation with Haley, except what Brooke has told me. But I can see that you want to be with her. And yet you give up, the second that she's not falling at your feet anymore," Lucas asked.

"It wasn't like that. There's just too much bullshit we'd have to deal with, and I don't know even how she feels about me. I don't think she wants this," Nathan waved his arm about directing the statement not only to himself, but back to the party, and the world he lived in.

"That's what I mean man. The second you're not sure if things are going to go your way, you give up. You let it go."

"Well what am I supposed to do Luke? None of this matters to her. It's like if she's not into me because of the money or popularity or any of that other bullshit, they why does she like me? I don't get it. She's so much smarter than, and we have almost nothing in common. And it's just a matter of time before she gets tired of me. Because let's face it, most people like her do," Nathan said in one breath. He looked up to meet Lucas's eyes, and found just a familiar face looking back at him, instead of the judge he figured he would get.

"Maybe you need to fight for her," Lucas replied nonchalantly.

Nathan's eyebrow quirked up. "What? Against the bar geek?"

"No. Just in general, to show her how you feel. You can't sit back and expect her to fall all over you. You already blew that chance all to Hell."

"I hadn't forgotten, but thanks for reminding me," Nathan gave a fake tight lipped smile.

"So fight. Be ruthless. Pretend you've got five seconds left in the game and this is....your last shot," Lucas let out a laugh at his own words and Nathan rolled his eyes.

"Nice metaphor."

"Yeah, it worked well didn't it," Lucas asked, and both boys fell into a soft laughter again. To any outsider looking in, they would think that they were close, and what gave Nathan some comfort in that moment, was that he knew that maybe they were getting there.


	22. Falling Together

Ok, just wanted to update this chapter real quick. Sorry if there are a lot of technical errors, I tried to edit it as much as I could, but I wanted to get this in tonight. Hope you enjoy. And thank you again for your great feedback.

TOXIC

Chapter 22

Falling Together

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**Haley sat in one of** the front desks at the side of the room. It was her first day back, and as always she was the first person inside the classroom. It was learned behavior for her, years of being late because of how long it took a large family to get ready for anything, had taught her how to manage her time. She almost thought that maybe she was a little bit neurotic when it came to punctuality, because she was never late, and this morning class was no different. 

Silently she watched as her peers stumbled into the class slowly, filling up the desks one by one. Everyone looked blasé and tired, like they new this was the start of a long journey filled with homework, presentations, tests and grades. A journey they weren't particularly ready to start at nine o'clock on a Monday morning. Nevertheless as the seats were almost entirely filles up, a tall gangly man in a tweed vest came into the room and set his brief case on top of the desk, a cheery smile spread over his wrinkled face.

"Good Morning everyone, and welcome to Educational Psychology. I'm Professor Hales, but for all of those who prefer the more casual side, can call me Kevin."

The teacher checked his watch and then the clock to make sure it was in fact nine, and then opened his brief case. He took out a large stack of packets and then headed over to where Haley sat, placing the packets on her desk.

"All right, I want you to take one packet and pass it around. This packet holds your syllabus and a few other papers your going to need for the rest of the year. Don't lose these people. I hate making copies," the professor quirked up his eyebrow in a light manor and a few of the kids in the class laughed to themselves.

Haley began flipping through her own packet, half listening to the teacher talk, half reading what was going to be expected of her in this class for the next four months. Out of the corner of the room she randomly heard the giggle of the doorknob and the click of the door, indicating that someone was coming into the class. Haley glanced up from her packet, as did a few other students, to see Nathan quietly fumble into the classroom, and into one of the back desks. The professor gave him a warning look and continued on with his schpiel.

For some reason Haley lost all feeling in her body the second Nathan walked into the room. It wasn't so much that she was surprised he was there, he had come right out and told her he was going to Bayview. It was that she'd given up on seeing him again. Resigned herself to the fact that she and Nathan lived into two separate worlds, yet even though those words in her mind where only metaphorical, she in some way though that made them real.

But it didn't.

She and Nathan lived in the same world, in the same town, and now once again went to the same school. There was no escaping him. Haley didn't know if she should be happy by this knowledge or not. She didn't know if her heart could handle the constant day-to-day interaction with him. His rejection still hurt so much.

She kept her eyes on him, until he took his seat in the back, setting his back pack on the ground, and looking up at the front of the room just in time to lock eyes with her. Quickly she spun her head back to the front of her desk and down to her packet, reading it like it was the Holy Grail. She could feel his eyes on her back, which only made her body tense and uncomfortable. She sat straight in her chair, her arms resting on the desk as her hands were clamped down on the paper before her.

Part of her so badly wanted to turn around and look at back him. Just to check and see if he really was staring at her. She didn't know why he would be though and the fact that she felt him doing it; confused her even more. Nathan Scott was an enigma.

As the minutes ticked by, Haley continued to stay stagnant in her chair, aware of only one other person in the room besides herself. A million thoughts ran through her head of what she was going to do when the class ended.

Should she say hello, and be polite?

Should she ignore him on purpose and be a bitch?

Should she act indifferent, like she doesn't care?

Even more concerning was what was he going to do? Talk to her? Not talk to her? Blow her off, ignore her, maybe apologize?

Haley wanted to laugh at that thought. Nathan Scott would never attempt to apologize to her in a public place, and even if he did she didn't want to hear it. It wouldn't mean anything. None of the others had, so why would this one?

So consumed in her thought's Haley barely heard the professor give the signal for the end of class. She saw all the other people around her collecting their things and putting them into their bags. She hastily began to do the same, then grabbing her bag she hopped out of her seat and pulled her bag onto her shoulder.

With the most courage she could muster she glanced back at Nathan and saw him getting up out of his seat. She didn't know what to do. What was right and wrong, and what felt right didn't make sense to her anymore. All she knew was that she needed to be out of the classroom and away from him.

Using her small frame to her advantage Haley squeezed through the large crowd and out into the hallway before Nathan got to the front of the room. She didn't even try to look back as she made it down the stairs and out of the building.

........................

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**"Please, please, please tell me** why I chose to take Statistics. Because I can't for the life of me, figure out what brain malfunction I had that day," Brooke moaned when she saw Haley come inside their apartment.

Haley gave Brooke a sympathetic smile. "I think I remember you telling me that the Prof. was hot."

"He is," she nodded.

"So what's the problem?"

"The class sucks."

"So drop the class," Haley dropped her bag on the kitchen table and slumped down into the sofa chair by Brooke.

"But Haley you don't understand this teacher is a god. He's gorgeous, and not just in the normal way. More in the I'm-Brad-Pitt-in-_Legends-of-the-Fall_ kind of way. I mean the man's got waiting lists a mile long--that's how many people, mainly girls, want to take his classes. And I got in. I can't just drop it."

"Then don't drop it," Haley shrugged resting her head against the back of the chair.

"But this class is going to suck so much. Grrr I don't know what to do," Brooke groaned again, and flopped her self out along the couch. Haley laughed lightly, and then suddenly remembered her own experience earlier in the day. The smile fell from her face.

"Maybe you could just transfer to one of his easier classes," she suggested, bringing her hand up to pick at her nails.

Brooke sat up and looked at her friend. "Yeah, except this is his easiest class. So either way I'm screwed."

"I don't know why you care so much. You do have Lucas, ya know."

"Yes, but he's back at Duke until the end of May, so I have to have some eyes candy to keep satisfied."

Haley shot her eyes up at Brooke and the other girl laughed. "I can look and not touch. Believe it or not."

"Hey I didn't say anything," Haley lifted her hands up innocently.

"Yeah but I know what you were thinking, little miss gutter mind," Brooke pointed at her.

Haley chucked and shook her head. "No actually I was thinking about how Nathan Scott was in my Educational Psych. class today," she through in and Brooke moved her head forward.

"Huh? What?"

"Nathan's in my class."

"Yeah I heard that. What happened?"

Haley sighed and let her arms fall to the arms rests in a defeated manner. "Nothing. He came in, sat down, we had class and then I left."

Brooke waited in silence for Haley to continue but she didn't. "And?"

"And nothing."

"What do you mean nothing? You did nothing? Or nothing important happened? What does that mean, 'nothing'?"

"It means class ended and I left. I just.... I walked out," she said uncertainly, and Brooke picked up on it.

"You just walked out?"

"That's what I said."

Brooke scooted down on the couch closer to the other girl. "So Nathan just randomly shows up in your class and then you both ignore each other?"

"Not exactly."

"Then what happened Hales?"

"I didn't really give him a chance to ignore me. I kind of.....ran out."

"You ran out?"

"Yes, stop that," Haley stated, fidgeting in her seat.

Brooke looked confused. "Stop what?"

"That. Repeating everything I say."

"Sorry, I'm just a little lost here. You tell me Nathan shows up in your class, and you don't talk to him. Not that I blame you of course because he is the biggest jerk this side of the western-hemisphere, but still, why did you run out?"

Haley bit at her bottom lip, and leaned on her side to rest her body into the chair. "Because I didn't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything babe. You can ignore his pasty ass all you want. That's your right as the jilted lover."

Haley laughed at Brooke. "I know. But I feel like I should say something. Let him know his presence doesn't bother me."

"Does it," Brooke questioned her, her eyes staring into Haley's.

"Yeah," she answered honestly. "Damn it."

...........................................

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**Haley had hoped that her** talk with Brooke would have squelched some of her fears going back to class the next morning. But there was no such luck. Again she was the first person inside the class, and again she waited on bended knee for Nathan to come through that door. Five minutes till the beginning of class he came through the door and took a seat two desks behind hers. She sat stiffly never looking anywhere but to the space in front of her.

Professor Hales waltzed into class precisely at nine and began his lecture. By the time he dismissed the class, Haley's hand was so swore from writing down notes that she wasn't as quick getting her things in her bag. Placing Haley in a position Nathan could take advantage of. As she pulled her bag up on her shoulder and mad her way out of the room, she could feel his form bearing over her from behind. She didn't know what to do. She didn't want to turn around, she didn't want to walk faster, and yet she felt her legs quickening their pace. She could also hear his shoes coming up beside her.

"So what do you think of that class," he asked her, as he finally made his way beside her in the hallway.

Haley looked up at him in bewilderment. What was going on? "Huh?"

"I think it'll be all right. It's kind of boring, but Kevin's not too bad," Nathan talked nonchalantly.

"Who," Haley asked feeling out of the loop of the conversation.

"Our Professor," he stated simply.

"Oh," was all she could think of to say in response. This whole situation felt wrong.

"So anyway, what are you gonna do for the paper? Cause I was thinking maybe I could do like liberal arts in education or something . But I'm not sure, I don't know a lot about--"

"What are you doing," Haley cut in, at Nathan's rambling.

He looked down at her innocently as if them talking like this was the most natural thing in the world. "Talking to you about our assignment."

"Why?"

"Because that's how us students communicate. See I–"

"I mean why are you talking to me? Why are you in my class? I don't understand you," Haley said in exasperation.

"Well I'm a complex kinda guy," Nathan joked and Haley didn't even crack a smile.

"Complex?.....If that's what your calling it. Either way, it doesn't matter. You're not my business, we've established this point pretty clearly I think. So please, _please_ just stay away Nathan. I can't take it anymore."

"Can't take what," he asked, speeding up when he noticed Haley trying to get away.

"This back and forth between you and me. It's awkward and painful to both of us. All we seem to do is mess each other up, and I'm done with it. I quit." She said frankly and saw some of the light in Nathan's eyes darken at her words, but he still looked determined.

"How can you quit?"

"By staying away from you. By dropping this class," Haley said with her own determination and a hint of sadness.

Nathan tried to search Haley's face, see if she really meant what she was saying. He wanted to say something, do something, but he was at a loss in this moment. The last thing he wanted was for her to have to give up something else for him.

Nathan let out a resigned breath. "Don't drop the class."

"Wha–"

Haley wasn't sure what to say so she just stopped, and looked up at the man beside her. "Do you want me to drop the class," he asked her, his eyes hopeful.

"Yes," she replied weakly, the all too familiar feeling of fear setting in as she made yet another clouded choice.

"Then I will," he answered softly, giving Haley a quick smile. She tried to smile back at him, as she began to walk away, but heart just wasn't in it.


	23. The Links In Between

I apologize for the long update, but with me starting my new job, and life continually getting in the way, it's been tough getting the energy to write. But I think I'll have a bunch of free time this weekend, so hopefully there will be updates galore. And as always thank you guys for your kick-ass feedback. Me love you all long time :)

Also if you have time, check out my new N/H story **Chariot!** Shameless pimping of my own stories, I know, I know, but hey what can ya do?

TOXIC

Chapter 23

The Links In Between

"**Welcome back slacker," Denise Young** called out as Haley walked into the Student Learning Center with a handful of books in tow.

"Miss me," Haley questioned with a bright smile.

"Only a little," the red-head teased. "How was your break?"

Haley came up to the round blue table that Denise was sitting at and pulled out the chair next to hers. The room was fairly quiet for that time of day, but it was mostly due to the fact that the semester had just begun. And most students wouldn't start coming by until the second or third week in, when tests began being given. Haley was going to take this quiet period and relish it, before the madness really began.

"It was okay," Haley replied, pulling out a pen and notebook from her bag.

The other girl eyed her suspiciously. "What? No torrid romances or exciting adventures?"

"No. No, not really."

"Yeah, me neither. Us book types never get involved in the juicy drama," Denise spoke with seriousness, and shook her head for emphasis.

Haley stared at her for a minute and then rolled her eyes in amusement, "You're such a cornball, you know that?"

"And that's why you like me. I bring laughter and joy into your life," she pointed at her with her ball-tipped pen.

"You're the only," Haley added sarcastically, while laughing.

"As long as I believe it, that's all that matters to me," she replied, flipping her own book open.

Both girls giggled together for a few moments before falling into quiet while they studied. A few of the other tutors were scattered about the room at other tables, helping the small number of students that occupied the room. Haley was only required to stay around from 2pm til 5pm, but she usually came a little early and stayed a little late. She'd come to truly appreciate and eNjoy helping others learn over the past 5 years. Had enjoyed it ever since she started doing it in highschool. Although she also figured it would've been something she'd just leave behind when she came to college, that way she'd have more time to focus on her own major. She found though, that she felt somewhat lost without it. So her sophomore year she'd signed up for it and never looked back.

The room was quite as both girls studied and after a few minutes Haley could hear the door to the learning center click open. She saw her friend's head snap up the second a tall dark haired guy entered the room.

"Ooh hottie at three o'clock," Denise whispered, using her head to point to the handsome man across the room. "Be right back."

Haley laughed at the other girl's verbosity, and went back to her book, that feeling of sadness coming over her again, as she watched her friend flirt so freely with someone that happened to resemble Nathan. But it wasn't him, and that fact cause her to ache just a little bit more.

_Do not think about him_, she told herself. _Think about math. Math is good. Math never gets you into trouble or breaks your heart, or doesn't love you back._ _Math is the exact opposite of gorgeous, rich, basketball stars._

"Excuse me...you tutor for Stats right," a voice came from behind her, breaking into her inner monologue.

"Yeah. Can I help you," Haley asked, twisting in her chair so that she could look up at the person standing behind her chair.

"Actually you can," Nathan grinned, swiftly moving into the empty seat beside Haley. "You see, I was taking Educational Psych. but I had to drop out of it. So, Statistics 108 was the only class available for me to take in its time slot. And isn't that a coincidence that you just happen to tutor for that exact math."

Haley watched the growing on Nathan's face, and remembered why she was annoyed with him in the first place. She scowled at him. "That sure is a coincidence."

"I thought so too. Funny how life works out like that."

"Oh yeah, real funny."

Nathan pulled his book bag up onto the desk. "So here's what I think: I figured we could just go over the assignment. It doesn't seem too—"

"Nathan I'm just going to stop you right there. Before you take out all your books and start whatever plan this is that you've concocted."

"That's not what this is," he claimed.

"Then what is it," she asked, folding her arms in front of her.

Nathan took a breath and met Haley's eyes. "I came to you because you're smart, because you know what you're doing, and because I trust you..........I want to do better this time Haley......Will you please—,"he took another deep breath in, forcing the words out. "Will you please help me?"

Haley watched him, saw the sincerity in his eyes, and in his voice. "I–I don't know Nathan....."

Nathan leaned on the table, bringing his body closer to hers, but not touching her. He didn't smirk, or pull out a cocky grin, just gave her an honest face. "I'm not asking you to make up your mind about me this second. I just want you to be my tutor. And whatever happens tomorrow, or a week, or a month from now, we'll deal with it then. Right now I just want you to help me with Math."

Haley sat silent for a moment, watching him--watch her, before she raised up out of her seat, taking her books with her.

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**Their microwave beeped three times**, signaling that her frozen meal was now ready to be eaten. Haley sat the papers she was studying down, and went to the kitchen. Peyton came out of her room and joined her there a minute later, opening the fridge in search of something to drink.

"We got any more lemonade," Peyton asked, her head still shielded by the open door.

"No, I think Brooke drank the last of it yesterday," Haley replied, grabbing a fork from the drawer beside her.

"Dammit, why does she always drink the last of everything. It's like a frikin' evil ritual for her or something."

"You can have some of my orange juice if you want?"

"Mmmm no thanks. I'm not in an o.j. mood."

Haley nodded at her, and continued out of the kitchen and back to her little study session by the couch, her food firmly in hand.

"So my day was boring as usual. How was your," Peyton sing-songed, plopping into the cream sofa chair by the couch.

"Um I don't know," Haley jabbed at the lasagna in front of her.

"Well, was it good....bad.....suicidal? Should I be on death watch here?"

"Yeah ok drama queen, not quite.......It was just interesting is all."

Peyton tilted her head. "Interesting like how?"

"Like there was some new developments," Haley brought another bite off food to her mouth.

"Really? Well you mind actually telling me what you're talking about here, instead of being all cryptic?"

Haley swirled her fork around in her dish, concentrating on how the red sauce mixed and separated underneath the black plastic carton. "......Nathan asked me to be his tutor today."

Peyton sat silent as Haley waited for her to respond to her news, when she didn't, Haley bit her bottom lip and dropped her fork onto her plate. "Say something."

"So what did you say to him," Peyton asked, shifting in her seat on the couch.

Haley continued to bite down on her lip, and stare at the papers, she'd set down on the coffee table in front of her, his handwriting scribbled in jagged lines across the page. "I said I would," she responded softly.

Peyton puffed out a knowing laugh and smiled, getting up from the chair and heading back over to the kitchen, decidedly thirsty again. "You think that was such a good idea," she said, not making any judgements, simply asking the question Haley had been asking herself all evening.

"I don't know," she replied, running her fingers over his written name on the page. "I guess I'll have to wait and see."


	24. A for Avoidance

Alrighty new chapter for ya all. Things are starting to look up four our couple no? Well keep reading and letting me know what you guys think, I really appreciate it!

TOXIC

Chapter 24

A for Avoidance

**It was strange how time** could give you a whole new perspective on things you hadn't really been able to see. The simple act of waiting, being patient, and not letting your own insecurities bog you down, was something Haley had never really done before. She'd always been patient with others, always been able to wait for them to come around no matter what the circumstance. It was herself that she was particularly hard on. Needing to know what the next move she was going to make, what that consequence would inevitably be, she needed to know the answers to these questions. And the only way for her to know those answers was to constantly be on top of everything, in every moment, of every second. And sometimes it was exhausting.

Haley didn't know what had happened between the time Nathan had asked her to be his tutor, and the three months that followed, but something inside of her had changed. It was gradual of course, not noticeable to the unseen eye, but as Haley sat and watched Nathan taking his practice quiz across the table from her, she'd come to the realization that something within her was different. The way she felt about them was different. It was in the way she'd woken up that morning, the way she'd gone through her day, the way she'd walked into the Learning Center and smiled at Nathan as he sat at their table waiting for her.

Maybe it was because she could see that he'd changed too.

S he could see it in the way he diligently went to class every day. In the way he'd come  early and stay late to make sure every problem on his homework was right. In the way he'd respected her decision when she'd told him that she was only his tutor and nothing more. How he'd started off small, asking her questions here and there, telling her jokes to see her smile, and then let that develop into longer conversations. Mostly it was how he'd never stopped trying to do better. His courage astounded and scared her all at the same time.

But courage, bravery, those things only went so far, and they certainly weren't living in a fairytale here. Happy endings didn't come for everyone.  You had to work hard for them. Golden carriages didn't magically come and take you away.  And despite your wishing, life nor people didn't fit into this simple package that they so often got labeled as. Nathan wasn't perfect, and Haley knew she wasn't either. She also knew that the end of the school year was almost around the corner and that meant  yet another change for both of them. This one neither of them could avoid, but had successfully been putting off though for weeks.

Even as Haley continued to glance up from her own homework, watching as Nathan would scribble a few things down on the page before pausing and starting again, she knew something was happening between them, could feel it in her bones.

"You almost done," Haley couldn't help but ask, as she watched his crinkled brow, his eyes focused sternly on the page.

"Uh, about half way through," he uttered, concentrating on the problem.

"You've got about 30 minutes left, so you should be fine, if you're passed problem 15."

"Ok," he said, finishing the last few stages of the problem he was working on. He checked over the problem quickly, to be sure he didn't make an error and then let his eyes flutter up through dark eyelashes to look at Haley across the table from him.

He rarely let himself have these moments where he would just purely stare at her; but sometimes he couldn't help it. It hadn't been easy being himself in front of her. He was so used to putting on the act for everyone; being the suave, charming guy that always gets his way, that he almost didn't know who he was without it. He found he had a lot less to say when all the witty comebacks and smooth pick lines weren't useful anymore. It was like he almost had to start from scratch, and that was scarey.

"What are you working on," he asked, unable to stop the words as they came out. She always looked so peaceful when she was writing, as if it was the ultimate escape.

"My Ed Psych. final paper. I can't seem to get pass this page for some reason. It's driving me insane."

Nathan quirked his eyebrow up and grinned. "Well if you need help Haley, maybe you should get a tutor."

"I guess I could," she agreed, smiling back at him. "But then I'd miss out on all the fun of watching you take quizzes every day."

"I do agree with you on that," Nathan laughed. "You wouldn't want to miss out on watching me, I am very pretty to look at."

Haley couldn't help but laugh, and reaches across the table to lightly smack him. "Get to back to work," she ordered pointing to his paper.

 This had become more constant lately, this light meaningless banter between them, and most times she enjoyed it. But just beneath the surface she wanted more. She wouldn't come right out and say it, because that would mean she'd have to admit a whole world of other possibilities that she wasn't sure she was prepared for.

Nathan on the other hand was ready to take a leap, any leap, just as long as it involved moving away from this monotonous circle they'd fallen into. He tapped his pen vigorously against the table while Haley went back to writing on her paper. He shifted in his seat uncomfortably as he watched her, causing her to look up at him curiously.

"What's up? Are you stuck on something?"

"No," he answered, shaking his head. Haley gave him a strange look and was about to go back to her paper when he spoke again.

"So you heard about um, Peyton and Jake's thing this weekend?"

"You mean the concert in Coralwood?"

"Yeah."

"A little bit," she shrugged. "I think Jake won some tickets to something like that?"

"Actually he got them from a friend of his who works at the local radio station there. And I guess Luke and Brooke are going too," he answered blandly.

"You don't sound too excited about it," Haley mentioned.

"Oh I am," Nathan countered. "I just......I was just curious, ya know, if you were gonna.........go or not."

Nathan fidgeted in his seat, as Haley looked back down at her paper contemplating it.

"You know you only have 20 minutes left, you should really finish the quiz," she replied, trying to smoothly change the subject, and knowing it wasn't really working by the way he continued to stare at her.

"I will in minutes," he told her, his eyes piercing. "So are you going to?"

Haley felt hot and uncomfortable. She didn't know what she was doing.  She hadn't given it much thought. Mostly because she'd been avoiding the subject like she did with a lot of things in her life. She gave Nathan an I-don't-know expression.

"Uh probably. Why do you want to know?"

Sometimes when she spoke to him like that, like they were still complete strangers, it angered him more than anything else. "Wha–.......Why do you think I want to know?"

Haley lifted up her hand and shrugged. "Nathan I've really gotta work on this paper, and you need to finish your quiz. So we'll talk about this later."

Sometimes he felt like things were never going to change between them, no matter how hard he tried. And that thought was disheartening.

Gathering his books off the table, and slipping them, with the rest of his papers into his book bag, Nathan started to get up from the table.

"Where are you going," Haley asked in confusion.

"Um, I gotta met Luke at the gym," Nathan answered lamely, choosing not to look at her.

"But what about your quiz?"

"Ill finish it tonight," he replied, slinging his back pack over his shoulder, his voice a cold against her ears. "I'll see ya later."

Haley watched as he traveled out the room, wanting to call out for him to come back, the only word leaving her mouth though was a sad, "Bye."

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**It wasn't until Saturday when** Haley, Brooke, Peyton and Jake arrived at the train station, that she saw Nathan again. He pulled up 10 minutes after they had, joining Peyton and Jake as they handed him both his train and concert ticket for the night. Haley decidedly stayed back, sitting with Brooke as she worriedly checked her cell phone. This was the first time they'd all had a chance to get together again since after Christmas and the anticipation was especially killing Brooke.

"He said he was coming right," Haley asked her friend, making a few short glances at Nathan, before he would turn her direction, where she would then look at back to Brooke.

"Yeah, he said he'd meet us here at four," Brooke checked her phone again, skimming through to her voice mail, and then to her text messages.

Haley flicked her wrist to look at her watch. "It's only 3:55 Brooke."

"I know."

"Then why have you been hovering over your phone for the last hour?"

Brooke stilled at Haley's question. She stared at the purple and blue flowers displayed on her cell phone screen a moment longer, before finally snapping it shut. She leaned forward, resting her forearms on top of her thighs.

"Do you think he might of changed his mind about me? Like maybe he got back to school and though, 'Hey that thing with Brooke was sure fun.........I'm over that now.' Like maybe he realized that I wasn't his type or that I wasn't good enough?"

Haley leaned forward as well so that she was eye level with Brooke. "Well I don't personally have a lot of experience on Lucas and love, but I do know what I see. And what I saw of you two that night at dinner a couple months back, and the way he always calls you every weekend, and sends you those text messages I catch you giggling at every night, I can safely say I think the guy is crazy in love with you."

Brooke turned her head, her stomach getting that fluttering feeling again as she smiled. "You really think so?"

"I do," Haley nodded.

Brooke chuckled, wrapping her arm around Haley's shoulders. "Ahh, times have sure changes around her tutor girl."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning, look at us, me being all nervous and angst-y about a _boy_, and you giving love advice like an old veteran. It's great."

Haley rolled her eyes at Brooke and just laughed. Lucas's silver car pulling up a moment later, causing Brooke to squeal and jump up from the bench as she happily ran over to her boyfriend.

"Finally! He arrives," Jake bellowed from the little group that had congregated waiting for Lucas to get out of his car.

Lucas smiled at Jake, and came over to the group, giving his brother a nod and his friend a quick slap on the back.

"Hey how you doin' man?"

"Great as always," Jake answered with a sparkling smile, pulling Peyton over to his side.

"You been good to my best buddy," Lucas asked Peyton.

"I try," she replied with a smirk.

An instant later Brooke bounded through the group, stopping short in front of Lucas with a teasing smile.

"Hey gorgeous."

Lucas smiled down at her. "Hey beautiful. I missed you."

"I missed you more," she said, coming into his arms, and leaning up to kiss him.

The other three people in the group made grossed out faces and took a step back from the spectacle the couple was making and started heading over to their train.

"Ok....gag patrol alert guys. Come on, lets go. The train leaves in five minutes," Jake announced, and Haley looked up from the bench and let a soft laugh out. As much as she was sickened by the sweetness of Lucas and Brooke, part of her heart warmed for them. It wasn't every day you met someone you were so completely passionate about, and she was glad that both of her best friends had found it.

Following the rest of the crowd onto the train, Haley trailed slowly behind, choosing to take a solitary seat up near the front of the cab rather than sit with either of the couples in the booth seats in the back. Nathan had also chosen to do the same, taking a seat across the aisle from her by the window. It was funny, Haley thought, how they always seemed to be the odd men out in their little group. Funny, yeah right.

.......................................

**The few hours it took** them to get to Coralwood and onto the concert grounds, Nathan had been steadily quite. Haley kept wanting to ask him what he was thinking, if he was mad at her, but she couldn't seem to find the nerve. And as the night progressed on, the less she cared about what was really going on in front of her, and the more she wanted to leave.

"Wanna try to look like you're having fun there Hales," Peyton asked, as they both stood in the crowd, the new band that had entered the stage less appealing than the one before.

"I'm having fun," Haley retorted.

"Yeah, about as much fun as Nathan is. I can tell," she gestured to where Nathan was standing by himself a couple yards away, a sullen expression marring his face.

Haley gave Peyton a scowl, while she internally fluttered. It made her happy to know that he was as miserable as her, it gave her small ounce of comfort that their conversation the other day hadn't just been swept under the rug.

Peyton saw Haley looking over at Nathan, and nudged her in the side with her elbow. "Maybe he thinks this band sucks as much as we do. You could go ask him."

Haley took Peyton's hint and waded her way through the masses, coming up behind Nathan tall form. She stood silent, but it didn't really matter, the loud metal music was making it difficult to hear much of anything, especially how close he was to the stage.

"So I'm glad you came," he looked down at her awkwardly.

"What," Haley yelled, back unable to hear.

"I'm glad you came," he raised his voice.

"What did you say, I can't hear you."

"I SAID I'M GLAD YOU CAME," he shouted, causing her to grin and giggle at him. He noticed that she wasn't laughing at what he said, and more at how he'd shouted it.

"You're teasing me," he pointed at her in mock shock.

Haley brought her hand up, using her fingers to demonstrate. "Just a little bit."

"So are we talking again," he asked, stepping back and away from the crowd, waiting for Haley to follow him.

"Did we stop," she asked, when they made it farther away from the stage, the sky above them becoming a dark blue, the early summer weather making it hot and humid.

"I was attempting to avoid you. But apparently you didn't notice."

"I noticed," Haley admitted. "I just didn't know what to say. I mean it's been all about school for us for the last few months and when you sprung that question on me I froze up."

"I wasn't trying to pressure you into doing anything you weren't ready for Haley."

"I know that," she said. But there was still the question. What did Nathan want from her? More importantly what did she want back?

It was the lingering thought between them, and although neither of them wanted to ruin the moment by asking, it was in the back of both of their minds, plaguing what they should do next.

The rest of the night ran rather smoothly and they all gathered together again for the long train ride back home. Inside the train was hot and musty from the weather and the differing passengers throughout the day. Haley chose to take a seat at the back of the cab this time in one of the empty booth seats. She opened the window, letting the warm night summer breeze blow over her, cooling  her flushed face.    

The other two couples were sprawled out in the other booths, either resting their eyes or almost completely asleep from all the earlier activity. The rest of the cab was quiet and empty and Haley enjoyed the silence. Nathan came up to where she was sitting and took the seat diagonal from her. He didn't speak, simply watched as the wind whipped through her chocolate hair, blowing it away from her face. She looked so content, looking out at the darkness, something he wasn't sure he'd ever seen before. It was calming and terrifying to him all at the same time.


	25. All You Wanted

New update is here. Sorry they're not as frequent guys, but my stupid job takes up a lot of time. I'll try to get another one in this weekend ok? And as always thank you so much for the fantastic feedback, you know I love it so!!

TOXIC

Chapter 25

All You Wanted

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**No matter what anyone tells** you, it is impossible to find someone if your actually trying to look for them. It's always happens this way. The second you don't want to run into someone, "poof" there they are right in front of you. But when you finally decide to search someone out, as Haley was coming to learn, they were physically unattainable.

She'd spent over an hour scouring campus for him. Unable to stand the suspense, when she knew earlier that day he'd taken his Stats final. The tutor in her was dying to know how he did, and the girl in her, the part of her she'd been trying to avoid for months now, just wanted to see him in general. They hadn't really gotten to talk much since the big excursion to Coralwood, and she feared that maybe it was partly her fault.

The more she tried to get closer to Nathan, the more she felt herself pushing him away. Out of fear of rejection, or fear of what they could be, she wasn't sure. It was like the more he seemed to change the more she wanted everything to stay the same, the more she wanted to stay the same.

Honestly she hadn't expected him to try so hard. Not someone like Nathan Scott. It sounded so hypocritical and judgmental when you said it out loud, but the truth was, people like Nathan usually didn't want to be different. They liked their small but affluent assemblage of friends and family. There was no branching out, or meeting less privileged people, because there was no need. Wealth like the Scott's was abundant in Bayview, almost half the family's in town were apart or in someway associated with the country club, and so the inner groups never had to mingle with the outside. There was never a need.

This little aspect alone was enough to scare Haley away from whatever prospects her and Nathan could potentially have. However there was also, that little issue of them having actually been intimate with each other that they had never fully resolved. Where they both destined to just be friends', or was Haley holding them both back from something larger, something that could end up being really amazing?

She didn't want to think about the answer to that question, despite the fact that it had been consistently rapping her brain all week. Right now she needed to find Nathan, talk to him about his final, talk to him in general.

Haley traveled down toward the east end of campus coming to a stop in front of the Gymnasium. Looking at, as it stood tall and wide in front of her, ominous in the afternoon sun, she wondered why the first place she figured to look for him, was the last place she ended up going. Deciding not to contemplate it, she stepped up the concrete stairs and pushed the large metal door open. Inside it was mostly dark, only a few lights on at the opposite end of the court where Nathan was shooting hoops by himself. Silently she watched him as he bounced the ball effortlessly between his hands, his feet gliding along the floor and then jumping up into the air as he made a slam dunk. It was so easy for him to just play by himself, no Dad's hassling you, or older brothers' outshining you, or domineering coach's with messed up agenda's. When it was just him and the ball, Nathan found, he could play for himself, play the way he always loved to play.

Haley watched this in fascination, lightly treading farther into the gym, and taking a soft seat on the first open bleacher. She hadn't really expected to find him in there alone, and yet seeing as most of the students were packing and getting ready to go home for the summer, it only made sense that Nathan would be practicing here by himself instead of at the country club, under the scrutiny of the people there.

It didn't take long for Nathan to notice that someone was watching him, He could always feel when her eyes were on him. Something he'd come to develop over the time he'd spent with her, like a sixth sense or something. He'd be working on some homework or a quiz, and she'd look at him through the corner of her eye, or her the spaces between her hair. He loved it and hated it, because he so badly wanted to look back up at her, and grab a hold of her face and...........

But he couldn't or he wouldn't and it angered him, with himself more than her. Neither of them where taking any sort of initiative in whatever it is you would call their relationship. They were at a complete stand still, and Nathan felt it was almost worse, than if they were right back in that parking lot yelling at each other again.

Making one last shot, he walked over to the bleachers and grabbed his towel up, wiping the sweat from his face and then taking a drink of his gate-o-rade. Haley was waiting for him to acknowledge her presence. And so he finally did, throwing the towel over his shoulder and looking over at her at the other end of the gym.

"Hey," he called, his body tired from the long workout. Haley couldn't quite distinguish his attitude as he walked over to her, She wanted him to be more happy to see her, but he looked indescribable, and it bothered her.

"Hey," she ran a nervous hand through her hair, and then let it fall back onto the books she had sitting on her lap. Nathan took a jagged seat down next to her, his chest heavy as his lungs tried to even out.

"What's up," he asked, leaning back on the bleachers so that his elbows rested against the next level of bleachers. To an outsider he would've come off as completely cocky, but Haley knew Nathan to well, and when he tried to come off more confident than what he really was, it was only to hide how insecure he was really feeling.

"Do the coaches always let you use the gym for your own personal pleasure," Haley questioned him, unable to stop from teasing him when he seemed so intent to look serious.

"I talked to the coach a couple weeks ago, and after he looked over my record and grades he said I'd mostly likely be eligible to play next year. Just as long as I spent the summer working my ass off to get up to speed for the new season and the draft picks," Nathan spilled out, watching for Haley's reaction to it all. He expected her to look surprised or at least a little taken aback, but she only gave him a confident smile, as if she'd known he could do it all along.

"That's wonderful Nathan. I'm really happy for you."

"Thanks," he shrugged, not knowing how to really take her praise. No matter how many times he heard her praise other people, it always sounded strange when she said it to him.

"Actually, the real reason I'm here bothering you was, I was wondering how you did on your Stats final. I know we had some problems with those last few chapters, so I just wanted to make sure."

"I think I probably bombed on the last two problems, but other than that I think it went ok."

Haley smiled at him brightly. She so badly wanted for him to get the B he'd been struggling for all semester, and it was evident in the way she worried about it. Nathan couldn't help but think, that part of the reason he'd tried so damn hard this last semester, was because every time he got a good grade, or got something right on the homework her entire face would just beam for him.

"So you really think you did well," she asked again, eager to hear his own assurance.

"Yeah, I do. I'll find out for sure on Friday though."

"Will you let me know, when you do," Haley looked at him expectantly, and it was so cute the way her eyes grew so big and sweet, that he had to comply. He nodded at her, with a half smile, and watched as she smiled back at him satisfied.

She usually wasn't such a Nazi when it came to knowing her student's grades, but Nathan was a special case, in and out of her life.

"Well now that I've completed my duty of harassing you about your grade for the day, my mission is now complete. You can now return to your regularly scheduled play," Haley grabbed her books from her lap, and stood up from the bleachers.

"You don't have to go you know. You could stay and hang out for a while," Nathan offered, leaning back up so that he sat straight. His hands mindlessly fumbled with the sports bottle, as he tired to come off nonchalant in his request.

"I would, but I've got a late cram session with one of my Advanced English people, so I can't," she said honestly, and felt part of the comradery they'd built up, fall away a little. Nathan tried to look disinterested.

"Yeah sure, whatever. It's cool. Some other time then," he jumped up off the bleachers, and stood in front of her, his body towering over hers in that all too familiar way that always sent shivers up her spine.

"Some other time," Haley repeated his words with a nod and half smile. It felt so awkward leaving like this, when what she really wanted was to stay. This was the last time either of them technically needed to speak to each other, and although Nathan had left somewhat of an opening for them to see each other again, Haley didn't know how strong that bind would hold.

So as she watched Nathan give her a quick wave and head back over to the end of the court, she knew she couldn't leave him like this, not after all he'd done.

"Hey Nathan" she called out loudly across the court, and waiting until he turned around to look at her.

"Yeah?"

"I just wanted you to know that I think you've done a great job. All the work you've done and the time you spent working so hard to get where you are now. I know it wasn't easy, and I' m not always the most fun to work with, but you never quit, and that's all that matters. You should be proud of yourself Nathan, because I know I'm proud of you."

He let her words wash over him for a minute, taking in what she had said, and what it meant. Haley didn't say words like those without truly meaning them. It was something to take seriously, and Nathan planned on doing that.

"We're friends right," he asked, and Haley cocked her head to the side at him curiously. She wasn't sure were the change of subject had suddenly come from, but she could see he was definitely going somewhere with it.

"We are," she agreed, her feet taking her slowly back toward him, until they met again at the middle of the gym.

"Do you wish we were more," his voice was soft, but certain as he searched her face. Haley felt her breath catch in her throat. The conversation had quickly turned in a direction she wasn't prepared for.

"Is there a right answer to that question," she looked up at him uncomfortably. She didn't want to have to be the one that made the next decision. She was always that person for everyone else. For once in her life, Haley wanted someone else to do it. She wanted him to do it.

Nathan moved about, shifting his body weight on his feet uncontrollably. "You wanna be my date to the Summer Kick off party on Sunday," he blurted out all at once, and watched as Haley's face scrunched up on confusion.

"For the what?"

"For the Summer Kick off party at the Country Club. My Dad's friends throw it every year and it's really boring and dull, and I could definitely use a friend."

"What about Jake or Tim. Why don't you ask them," she pried, trying to get him to say why it was that he wanted her to come with him. Especially to something where all of his upper crust friends were guaranteed to be at.

"They don't get back for another week. And besides, you look better next to me anyway," he joked, trying to avoid the obvious answer to her question. Because Nathan did know what it was he was asking her to do, he wasn't stupid. Yet he also knew if either of them were ever going to get passed this roadblock that was standing in front of them like the Chinese Wall, they'd have to do it together.

"Are you seriously asking me this," Haley searched his eyes.

"I wouldn't ask if I wasn't serious," he answered back.

"What if it turns out to be a complete disaster," she throughout at him. It was an honest question, one they both weren't entirely capable of answering. Haley needed to know from Nathan though that if she was really going to do this, put herself out there for everyone to see, that if things came crashing down, he'd be there.

"Then we'll deal with it. It won't be so bad Haley. Not all of my family's evil," he smiled at her, knowing that she was beginning to cave in.

Haley shook her head, a small smile bursting onto her lips. She couldn't help but smile when she saw his face light up the way it did. It made her heart soar.

"It's not your family I'm worried about Nathan. It's everyone else."

"Just stick by me then, and everything will be fine," he reassured her with another sparkling smile. She wanted to be comforted by his words, but deep down she knew things like this were always more easily said than done.


	26. The Shape of Things

So here's a long update for you. Hope you all like, and don't forget to leave feedback, it helps me more than you know!!!

TOXIC

Chapter 26

The Shape of Things

**Haley sat at one of** the white tables near the edge of the lawn by herself.  She ran her finger along the rim of her crystal wine glass over and over again, watching as the light reflected through the crystal making a beautiful rainbow pattern on top of the white silk table cloth. She couldn't remember how long she'd been sitting alone, just that now she was feeling rather bored and lonesome. The sun beat down upon her face turning it a little pink with flush, and she was grateful for remembering her sunglasses for once.

She watched as Brooke approached her table from where the main tent was set up just outside the country club. It was a magnificent set up to say the least. Pristine white tents covered the green manicured lawn. Small and large groups of people milled around, chatting with each other in their chic summer dresses and suits. It felt like something right out of _The Great Gatsby_, with it's elegant setting and people. But Haley couldn't seem to shake the feeling that despite its beauty it all felt like just a spectacular illusion.........

For the moment though she was happy for a reprieve from her dreary thoughts, as friend came to join her. Although the look on Brooke's face would have shown otherwise.

"If I have to watch Kelly Thomas try to throw herself at Lucas one more time I might just have to claw her little beady eyes out," Brooke growled as she took a seat next to Haley, Brooke usually didn't mind a little competition now and then. Most of the time she thrived on it, but when it came to Lucas, she didn't want to play any games.

"Yeah I was watching her, it's quite amusing," Haley said teasingly. In truth, Kelly had been throwing herself at Lucas all day, but it wasn't that unusual of an occurrence. Kelly was always trying to find the new hot boy of the day, and apparently Lucas had won that contest the moment he stepped out into the party. Brooke didn't find it humorous however.

"Amusing? Ha! I swear I hate that little ho-bag. She always does this to me. The second I meet a guy she suddenly discovers that _they_ have so much in common. Like it isn't obvious what she's trying to do."

"He doesn't even notice her Brooke, "Haley placated. "He's too busy making sure all the other guys here don't look at you. Really I wouldn't worry about it."

Brooke smiled at Haley's words, trying to let them clam her down. No matter what anyone said, Haley could always make you see the good out of a bad situation. It was a quality many people found very attractive in her, and a reason, Brooke figured, was why Nathan was so drawn to her in the first place.

"As long as she keeps her hands, feet and body away from either of the Scott boys, I don't really care what she, or anyone else does," Brooke leaned back in her chair more relaxed now. She ran a handover her shoulder pulling the hair behind her back so that the sun was hitting her naked collarbone.

Haley laughed at how easily Brooke could go from nuclear to calm in 60 seconds flat, and you would never be able to tell the difference. She wished she could brush things off that easily as well, because this whole party atmosphere was making her more uncomfortable by the moment, especially since she hadn't a clue to where Nathan had gone off too.

"Speaking of the Scott boys, have you seen Nathan around? He said he was going to get a refill on his drink. That was like 20 minutes ago," Haley looked to the tents to see is she could find his dark head above any others.

Brooke turned to look too. "He's probably schmoozing with his fathers' friends. Don't worry he'll be back around," she assured the other girl with ease. Haley wondered how Brooke seemingly took all of this in stride, like it was so simple. Every muscle in her body felt tense, she felt like every move she made was being scrutinized in some way. It was not as easy as it appeared, and Haley could see how people would spend their lives always coming to these parties. It was all about prestige, and showing off what you had. The second you got your foot up on the latter, the person behind you climbed up two more steps. You were perpetually above and behind someone, always wanting to be higher and never quite getting there. It was all consuming. And Haley couldn't comprehend how they all did it, or how they even tried.

"How do you do it Brooke. How do you stay so calm? You fit in so well here," she told her friend, while continuing to mess with her glass.. Brooke sat up in her seat a bit, grabbing her drink from off the table and taking a small sip.

"It's all about faking it babe. You just gotta paste on the plastic smile and blank look and remember to nos and laugh at all the right jokes."

"You make it sound so easy."

"You'll get better at it," Brooke waved at her. "It just takes time."

That was the point right there. Haley wasn't so sure being fake was something she wanted to get good at. Parties like these always appeared so wonderful on the outside, but on the inside you never really got any enjoyment out of them. You couldn't, because you were too busy making it seem like you were having a good time to actually have one. It was like a vicious cycle, and Haley was afraid to get caught in it.

"I suppose......So anyway, where's Lucas at," Haley changed the subject onto something more agreeable.

Brooke picked up on the topic right away, that silly grin coming across her face again at the mention of him. He's discussing basketball with one of his fathers' friends. Where else? He told me to come back for him in 10 minutes, but I think I might just let him suffer a little while longer, since he left me alone with Theresa and Tim. when we first got here. Which by the way, never a good combination."

Haley giggled at the look of annoyance on Brooke's face. "Yeah I'll take your word for it."

They sat in silence for a while, letting the sun and cool wind wash over them. It was a rare occasion when either of them found the time to just hang out anymore.

"Hey you want to get something to eat? I heard they started serving food a couple minutes ago."

Haley half shrugged. Her stomach had been in knots al day, and the thought of food right then sounded extremely unappealing. "No, I'm not really hungry."

"Well at least come with me to get something to drink. Since Nathan seems to have disappeared."

Haley smiled at her best friends and nodded. Both girls traveled back to the main tent where a small bar sat underneath it. Brooke walked up to the bar and started ordering a drink while Haley stayed a few feet behind. She felt a warm hand come up on her back and she looked up to see Nathan standing beside her.

"Having fun yet," he grinned, and Haley had to stifle a moan. He looked absolutely gorgeous today. He wore a white cotton button down shirt, with his collar unbutton just at the top to reveal a small expanse of tanned skin. His light khaki pants clung around his waist, but fell nicely over his bottom and legs. His hair was slightly gelled causing the rest of his already handsome facial features to stand out strikingly against the white of his shirt. It made Haley's breath hitch in her throat the way he smiled down at her.

She looked down at her own light blue sun dress, and wavy hair, and somehow felt inadequate standing next to him.

"Bundles," she clipped out dryly, causing Nathan chuckled lightly.

"Alright, how 'bout we try that once more with feeling."

She wanted to be happy for him today, she really did. But the harder she tried to be, the more she wanted to just retreat back into that safe shell of sarcasm and wit that always felt the most comfortable.

"I'm sorry Nathan. I just feel a little out of place you know? Plus I'm not that sociable—"

"Haley you're one of the nicest people I've ever met. Just start talking with someone and I know they'll fall in love with you," Nathan brought his arm up around her shoulders and gave it a slight squeeze. She wasn't used to him being quite so affectionate with her.  It felt strange, and not in a bad way.

"You seem awfully confident about that," she smiled at him, as Brooke came back up to where they were standing, Lucas with her this time.

"What can I say," Nathan shrugged with a grin. "I know what I know."

"Hey, were getting ready to leave, you guys coming with," Lucas asked as he Brooke joined them in the middle of then tent.

Nathan looked to Haley, and then back at his brother. "In a little while. Dad said something about talking to me before I left so........"

Lucas nodded, knowing how their father could be about his parties and his friends. It wasn't a party for Dan Scott, if he couldn't promote both of his sons to each and every successful man in a 30-foot radius.

"Me and Brooke are going over to her apartment, so maybe we'll see you later."

"Call me if you need anything," Brooke said, looking Haley in the eyes.

The smaller girl nodded, and attempted a smile.  Her and Nathan watched as Brooke and Lucas disappeared into the building. They stood for a moment unsure of what to do when small older blonde women came up to them.

"Excuse me for a second," she said in reference to Haley. "Nathan your Father wants you to meet someone. He asked me to get you. He's over by the fountain."

Nathan audibly groaned, tired of his father for the afternoon. "Again? He just paraded me around for the last half and hour. I'd like to spend time with my own guest Mom."

The blond woman seemed to take more notice of the girl beside her son this time, and turned her body so that she facing both of them, a bright smile on her face.

"I'm sorry for my rudeness sweet heart. But my son here must have forgotten his manners, by not introducing us," she through a nagging look Nathan's way.

Nathan glanced back and forth dumbly between the two women until he caught onto what his mother was suggesting he do. When he picked up on what she wanted he waved his hand out gesturing to his mother first. " Haley this is my Mom Debra Scott. Mom, this my........Haley." Nathan stalled on her name, not sure what to call her. What was appropriate or not. He continued on quickly. "You remember.  I told you about her. She's the one tutoring me."

Deb nodded," Oh yes, of course. Yes I remember now. It's nice to meet you again Haley. I think we've met before."

"Just once, when I came by your house with Lucas," Haley replied softly.

"That's right. I thought I recognized you. So, you're a friend of Lucas's as well?"

"You could say that."

Deb was pleased with this information."Well I'm glad by boys have a mutual friend. Maybe you can keep tabs on them for me."

"Mom," Nathan cut in, and both women laughed. He always did look rather adorable when he was embarrassed.

"I'll certainly try my best Mrs. Scott," Haley giggled.

Out of nowhere they all heard Dan Scotts menacing voice a few yards behind them, He was flagging over Nathan as he called his name. Nathan sighed long and heavy, as if he was returning to prison.

"I'll be back in a couple minutes all right," he asked her more than told her. Haley simply nodded and smiled.

"Have you and Nathan been friends for long, Deb asked when Nathan was out of ear shot.

"Not really. We just sort of fell into it out circumstance, I guess you could say."

"Well I'm grateful either way. For your help with his grades and his happiness."

Haley wasn't prepared for something like that to come out Deb Scott's mouth. It meant more than she would've like to have admitted.

"Thanks."

Deb seemed to take that one word of gratitude in stride and smiled warmly down at the younger woman. "Now if you'll excuse me again, I think I might have to go save my husband from himself."

"It was nice to meet you again Mrs. Scott," Haley said, shaking the other woman's hand lightly.

"You to Haley."

Haley watched as Deb treaded over to Dan in the large group he was standing in, giving Nathan just enough time to excuse himself from everyone. It was in that instant that Haley knew no matter how flawed Deb Scott could be, Nathan at least had someone like her in his life to depend on.

"Hey you ready to get that drink now," Nathan asked her, his demeanor much happier now that he was away from his father.

"Sure," she nodded, following his lead back to the bar.

"At least this way we can pretend to be doing something productive, right," he teased, and noticed her unknowing blanch at the topic. She'd looked uncomfortable since the moment they'd walked into together. He couldn't tell if it was from the stares they got from him bringing someone new, or if she just didn't know what to do with herself. Most of the time Nathan didn't know what to with himself when he was at these parties, and he'd grown up around them.

Still, he wanted to make her comfortable as possible, and he was bound and determined to make that happen.

"Brooke told me their serving food in the dining hall too," Haley offered, and Nathan saw this as his chance to finally get them alone.

"Are you ready to eat," he turned back toward her.

Haley wrapped her arms around her stomach, those nervous butterflies still, occupying most of the space. "Mmm, not really. But I could stand to get out of the sun for a little while though."

"Just follow me then," Nathan placed out his hand and Haley tentatively took it. He lead her forward back too inside the club dining hall. "I know this little spot in the corner where we could.....why are you giving me that look?"

"What look," Haley asked when he stopped mid-sentence.

"That look, right there, " Nathan pointed to her face, her quirked up eyebrows and grin. "Like I'm suggesting something improper. When I merely offered to get you away from the madness."

"I.........never mind let's go," Haley was at a loss for words. She had no doubt in her mind that she'd given Nathan a look when he'd made his comment, but he hadn't implied anything, she just assumed. And what was even worse was that she wasn't at all put off by the thought of him proposing something. In fact a part of her missed the old cocky Nathan. The take charge guy, that took control of the situation, when she didn't want too. It felt like a back forth battle with what she wanted and what she though she wanted, and it wasn't fair to him. Nothing it seemed was fair when it involved either of them.

Nathan shrugged off Haley's response and continued to lead her into the dining hall. They made it through the second set of doors when a group of middle-aged women stopped in front of them. One in particular coming up to them, that unfailing plastic smile plastered on her face.

"Nathan Scott, is that you? Come here and let me get a good look at you," she yapped, taking Nathan by the arms, making his drop Haley's hand. He could feel her reluctant to let go, which drove him to widen his smile.

"How re you doing Mrs. Parish," he asked like this was something he had to do every day.

The older woman pulled one of her hands back to mess with her hair. She obviously wanted impress Nathan with her looks. Why she bothered, he didn't know or care.

"Wonderful darling, thank you for asking. But my you've grown even taller since last year I believe," she stepped back to survey his entire height, noticing Haley only by accident then. She forced her smile even wider at this, her straight white teeth glaring back at Haley. "And I see you have a lovely new girl with you."

"Mrs. Parish, Haley James," he introduced them, and watched as they delicately shook hands.

"Nice to meet you Ma'am," Haley tried to be as cordial as possible, despite her desperate want to just be away from all these people. It was too late though, Haley could feel this woman's eyes on her like pirana.

"James......I'm not very familiar with that name. Are you new to this town," the woman asked her flippantly.

"No I've lived her my whole life," Haley answered back the same.

Nathan's eyes traveled back and forth between them, not sure what to do.

"Really... that's interesting. I swear I would remember such a pretty girl like you. Who does your father work for?"

And there it was. The question she'd waited for all day. The one of many reasons that her and Nathan would never fit in this place, not with these people.

"The school district," Haley replied, trying to side track her away from the topic. She desperately wanted to look for Nathan for help, but what could he do? He couldn't save her from the truth.

The other woman placed her hand on her hip, tapping her finger on her chin like she was thinking. "He's and administrator then, I'm sure. Although I don't believe there are any James's on the board," she rattled off. Haley looked straight into her eyes, her body tense, as she tried to appear obliging.

"That's because he's a janitor Mrs. Parish," Haley spoke, and watched as the woman's face went from jealous and inviting to cold and insolent in a matter of seconds.

Without a second glance the woman turned back to Nathan, and smiled. "So Nathan, how's you Mother been? I haven't been able to talk to her all day?"

Nathan wanted to tell the old woman to go shove it. He couldn't though, and all three of them knew it. Which left Haley with that same sickening feeling again. The one that told her how bad this was all going to end. Because she was Haley James, and he was Nathan Scott.

"She's doing pretty good. She just signed up for this......" Nathan began speaking and felt Haley  slowly backing away from his side.

"Excuse me," she almost whispered and turned around and headed toward the doors.

Nathan paused, watching as she started to leave. He wanted to kick himself for letting the conversation get as far as it did. He knew she didn't deal well with people acting too superior to others. It was a trait he'd come to admire in her, above many others. Haley always tried to be equal to each and every person she met. It took a lot for her not to like you, and that usually meant you weren't worth liking in the first place.

Letting her leave now would only push them farther away, and Nathan was not going to let that happen. He'd spent too much time being careful, watching what he said, how he acted, trying to make sure he wouldn't hurt her again. But it wasn't getting them anywhere. They weren't moving forward.

"I have to...."Nathan began, and rushed after Haley out the door. He caught up with her when she was half way through the main hall. It was quiet, and his voice echoed as he called out her name.

"Haley! Wait a minute. Where are you going," he ran up beside her as she continued out to the parking lot.

"I knew I shouldn't of come here," she rambled off. "I knew it would be a mistake."

"Haley what are you talking about," he breathed, as he walked beside her quickly.

She stopped once they were outside, the sun blinding her uncovered eyes, but she didn't care. "This Nathan," she motioned to everything. "This whole place. You and me. All of it. I can't be this plastic person for you. I can't pretend to be something I'm not."

"I never asked you too," he gave her an angry look.

"Yes you did. By asking me to come here. It was like you wanted to prove to all your friends and family that they can't control you anymore. And that's great Nathan, I'm glad you're finally standing up for your self. But did you ever stop to think that maybe I don't want to be you catalyst?"

"And did you ever stop to think that maybe the reason I asked you to come, was because I just wanted you to come?"

He through a question back at her question, neither of them really answering either nor denying either. Haley felt like she was in some horrible limbo. Why couldn't he just say what he meant? Because there was so much at stake that was why, and neither of them wanted to risk what it would cost to take that first step forward.

Nathan could see the defeat in her eyes as she came up to him. He could see it when she grabbed a hold of his hand, and rubbed her thumb over it softly.

"I should go," she spoke softly, resolutely, and Nathan could so easily let her go. It would make everything more simple to just say goodbye right then and there.

He didn't want to go back to that life before. It was boring and dull, and empty. Nothing meant anything, because there way nothing at risk to lose. But there was never anything there to gain either. Nathan saw Haley begin to pull her hand away and he held onto it. She looked up at him ready to speak and shook his head.

"Don't......please. One of us is always running away, and I hate it," he looked down at her and then away back to the club, his mind wandering. "You know I was standing there listening to Bill Fisher talk about his stupid sail boat. Every year he tells me about this stupid boat. Every single year. Like I'd forget or something. And it always bores the Hell out me, because I know I have to laugh and be polite or else my father will never let it go. So I'm standing there, listening to this man talk about his boat, and I'm not thinking about how bored I am, or how much I want to leave. I'm thinking how I really wish you were standing there with me, listening to this old guy spout about the difference between rigs and rail, because I know you'd get a kick out of it. I'm thinking I've never had this much fun at one of these stupid parties before. I'm thinking,  I want you by my side."

Haley stood speechless, unsure of what to say at his confession. She knew he was waiting for her to respond, but her mind was racing at his words, she couldn't think.

"Nathan I......." the words died on her mouth. She felt that if she didn't speak soon he might just walk away, and she'd lose this chance forever, her heart rate quickened, and still she thought of nothing, accept his words: _I want you by my side._

He dropped her hand then, but didn't move away, just stared down at her waiting, not expecting.. "Nathan I don't know what to say," she said honestly, afraid of what he was going to do next.

Nathan simply grasped her other hand, linking it with his own. "Say you'll come back inside with me," he smiled down at her. "I want you to meet my uncle Keith."

"Ok," she nodded, all her earlier insecurities dissipating for the time being as they walked back in through the glass doors, this time together.


	27. As Long As You Follow

Ok here's the new update, again sorry for the long wait. I know I suck at updating. Despite my suckiness you guys have been great with the reviews lately and I love it love it love it!! Big hugs and kisses all around!!!

TOXIC

Chapter 27

As Long As You Follow

****

**_".....the most important reason for_**_ going from one place to another is to see what's in between, and they took great pleasure in doing just that. Then one day someone discovered that if you walked as fast as possible and looked at nothing but your shoes you would arrive at your destination much more quickly. Soon everyone was doing it. They all rushed down the avenues and hurried along the boulevards seeing nothing of the wonders and beauties of their city as they went._

_No one paid any attention to how things looked, and as they moved faster and faster everything grew uglier and dirtier, and as everything grew uglier and dirtier they moved faster and faster, and at last a very strange thing began to happen. Because nobody cared, the city slowly began to disappear. Day by day the buildings grew fainter and fainter, and the streets faded away, until at last it was entirely invisible. There was nothing to see at all._"

Haley flipped another page in her book when she heard an outside voice asking her a question.

"Whatcha reading," Brooke asked as she came into Haley's bedroom and plopped down beside her on her bed.

Haley didn't even hesitate to stop reading, just turned the book cover to the side so that Brooke could see it clearly.

"The Phantom Tollbooth," Brooke read aloud, squinting at the book as if it was some foreign object. "Sounds weird. Is it any good?"

"It's all right," Haley mumbled, still trying to read through her talking. She wasn't entirely ready to deal with whatever the outside world had to offer at the moment. But noticing Brooke she could tell she really didn't have a choice.

Scooting closer to her on the bed Brooke sat waiting for her like an expectant puppy who wants its daily pat on the head and scratch behind the ears. With a heavy sigh, and knowing that this visit to her room meant Brooke was wanting something from her now, Haley took her book mark and placed it in between the pages. She dropped it down by her side, and then turned back to her friend, now willing to give her full attention.

"So what's up?"

"Not much," Brooke shrugged nonchalantly, picking at her manicured nails. "I just wanted to see if you wanted to come to the beach with us?"

"For what?"

"A picnic," Brooke answered, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

Haley chuckled, and pushed herself more upright on the bed. "You do realize it's nine o'clock at night right?"

Brooke finished picking at her thumbnail, and looked up at Haley unaffectedly. "Yeah, what's your point?"

Now Haley was used to Brooke and her spontaneous adventures, but they usually consisted of the party or shopping variety, not that of nature. Although despite her reservation Haley realized that her, Brooke, and Peyton hadn't spent much time together since summer had begun. Especially since the return of  Luke and Jake. Still though.....

"It's kind of late for the three of us to have a picnic on the beach at night, alone, don't you think?"

"Oh but we won't be alone. The boys will be there," Brooke stated, and lowered her voice a little so that Haley could hear her faintly. "Nathan will be there."

At the mention of his name, Haley could feel herself involuntarily begin to smile. It wasn't something she wanted to let anybody see. The effect he was having on her, or maybe always had, had on her was becoming glaringly obvious. Every time she thought of him, anything about him, anything related to him, her mouth would turn up into that goofy grin. She'd caught herself doing it about a month ago. She'd be grading his homework, and realized he'd gotten most of the problems right, and she would feel this wave of joy come over her at the thought of how well he'd done, and how she'd get to talk to him about it the next day. No one ever noticed her smiling when she was alone in her room, or in the tutoring center. It was just something she could avoid, and not think about. But lately the more she was around him, the more time she spent with him, and her other friends, the less she was able to or even wanted to hide it. That and plus, she'd never really been able to hide her feelings for Nathan from Brooke. Not even in the beginning.

"See, and that's why your coming," Brooke pointed to Haley's face, as she attempted to cover up her smile. "Don't even try to deny that you want to see him because I know you do. Now get up and get ready, you've got 15 minutes," Brooke declared,  moving up off Haley's bed. She headed out toward the door when Haley called to her quietly.

"Hey Brooke?"

"Yeah," she turned in the doorway, her arms crossed over her body, as she waited for Haley's question. Her face softening when she saw Haley become more serious.

Haley bit at her bottom lip a little, shifting her position on the bed uncomfortably. "Am I doing the right thing?"

To anyone else that sort of question would have appeared out of thin air. But Brooke knew what Haley meant. She wanted to know if she was doing the right thing with Nathan. If she was being stupid by letting him back into her life after he'd hurt so badly. There was no easy answer, not one that Brooke could give her, and both girls knew that. Sometimes though, you just need to ask a friend. She understood that as well.

"Are you scared," Brooke asked her in return.

Haley nodded softly, sucking in a breath of air as she did so. "Yes."

"Then there's your answer," Brooke nodded back at her with reassuring smile, and then headed back to her own room to change.

It was nearly an hour later when everybody congregated at the beach by Nathan and Lucas's beach house. Jake, Peyton, Luke , Brooke and Nathan all sat around in the dark by a pile of sticks far enough from the water that it couldn't touch them. Nathan watched as Haley waded across the shoreline a few yards away, the water coming up to her ankles and then heading back out again. There was a soft warm breeze blowing over all of them, and the night sky was clear and black against the millions of white stars that sparkled above. It was serenely quiet, all accept for one man's angry grunts.

"Dammit, why isn't this working," Jake growled, as he flicked his lighter open once again and tried to light the pile of sticks in front of him. Peyton and Brooke had suggested they try to light some kind of fire for them all to sit around so that they weren't just hanging around in the dark. The boys had agreed it was a good idea up until they were ordered to go find sticks and actually construct the fire itself. Now they were tired and frustrated and no closer too actually having a fire than they were 30 minutes before.

"Maybe because you didn't pile the sticks like I told you to," Peyton said, coming up beside him, and rearranging the sticks so that they lay in crisscross pattern over one another rather than just a huge jumbled pile.

"Why does it matter," Luke asked, from where he sat on the blanket by Brooke.

Peyton shook her head and laughed at them both. "If you don't have the sticks crossing each other like this," she said holding up two sticks in a T position. "then there's no way the oxygen can get through so that the fire can get started. _Man_, I thought you guys were supposed to know how to do this stuff."

"Yeah , don't you learn this crap in Boy Scouts," Brooke added, and squirmed when Lucas started tickling her side.

"I never did Boy Scouts," Jake shrugged and chuckled when he saw Peyton's look of _I-should-of known_.

Both girls then turned to Nathan, who was more than anything the most macho guy of the group. At first he looked like a deer caught in head lights, but sort of just shrugged it off. "Hey, don't look at me.  I was always too busy with basketball."

"Me too," Luke furthered, when he felt Brooke eyeing him. She in turn poked him in his side and he just batted her away.

"I did a little league," Jake through in his own defense, and the entire group erupted into a soft laughter.

"This is pathetic. Here give me the lighter," Peyton grabbed the lighter from Jake and squatted down by the pile to give her  try at lighting the fire. She flicked her thumb over the metal on the lighter until it finally stayed lit long enough to hold to the wood. This time it caught on at the edge of one of the sticks though, and quickly began to spread over the whole pile. Brooke looked at her friend and boyfriend as if the entirety of woman kind had just made a huge step forward.

"You go to it Peyt. You show those stupid boys."

"Hey, we are not stupid," Luke waved his arm around, and waited for some brotherly back up.

"Just a little incompetent," Peyton teased, standing up and going over to Jake to hand him back his lighter.

Jake grabbed at his chest mockingly, and came around the fire toward the blonde."Ouch, that's hurtful Peyton."

"And also true," she pointed at his chest. He shook his head and laughed, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her to him so that he could press his lips against hers. She fell into his embrace easily, the softness of his mouth lulling her to wrap her arms around her neck. He broke it off too quickly though for her own liking and leaned against her face to whisper into her ear.

"Only when it comes to making bonfires," he breathed huskily, and Peyton pulled back away from him, smacking him on the arm and laughing.

Nathan watched Peyton and Jake continue to play with each other back and forth, leaving him the fifth wheel once again and filling him with the need to go be with Haley. Neither of them had really talked much since they'd all arrived and he was unsure of what to do now. He'd finally taken some initiative between them, and told her how he felt, and because of it the rest of the party had been fun. They'd talked with his family, he'd introduced her around to some of his other family friends, she looked like she was really enjoying herself.

And then this.

This awkwardness all over again. He was so sick of it. Having to start all over again whenever they saw each other. He figured what he'd said to her would of made some kind of dent in their otherwise stagnant relationship. Instead it seemed to have moved them two more steps back. He hadn't asked her to respond to his words at the time, mostly because he didn't want to pressure her into feeling like she had to say something back right away.  But now he was getting to a point where he needed to know, either way. He needed to know how she felt about them.

Separating himself from the group, Nathan slowly treaded out to where Haley was walking along the shoreline not too far away. She was kicking lightly at the water, stirring her feet in the black water as it rushed in and out with the tide. She was listening to the crash of the waves come together and fall apart over and over again, only being distracted away from it as Nathan settled up beside her. For a few moments they walked silently together. Haley stuck her hands in the pockets on her jean skirt and noticed that Nathan had done the same. She was trying not think about his words to her the other day, or what they meant. Everything was still so hard to process, and she felt at a loss for what to do. Her heart and her mind always seemed at a crossroads with one another, and she was so tired of it. Without much ease her eyes wandered out in front of her as she finally began to speak.

"Why is it, you think, that the ocean is so peaceful?"

Nathan looked down his side at her as she continued to walk ahead, her eyes focused forward. He was trying so hard to figure out what was going on inside that head of hers but couldn't quite seem to get a grasp.

"Probably because it doesn't ask anything of you. It just kinds it what it is," he stated simply.

"Forever unchanging," Haley added more as question than anything else.

"Yeah," he spoke quietly and nodded.

Haley noticed Nathan's eyes boring holes into the side of her head, and decided to finally look up at him. She gave him and constrained smile, and pulled a few strands of hair behind her ear.

"That's sort of comforting I suppose," she looked down at her bare feet and kicked the wet sand.

Nathan felt like he wasn't really apart of whatever conversation they had stumbled into, but decided to follow through with it nonetheless. "Why?" He asked when they'd reached a point where Haley chose to stop walking.

She turned toward the ocean and quietly watched the waves. "Because you know it's always going to be there no matter what," she said sadly and Nathan again felt confused. He didn't know what it was that had gotten her like this, and it bothered him.

"Haley you've been pretty quite all night, is there something up?"

She wanted to turn to him right then and scream YES! Yes there's something up! I'm falling for you and I don't know what to do or say or how to act. I don't know how you feel and that scares the shit out of me. She wanted grab his face, cup it in her hands and bring it to hers so that she could kiss him with all the passion she could feel bubbling up inside of her. She wanted the damn butterflies in her stomach to go away and let her be at peace for one moment when she was around him, so that maybe she could feel normal again. She just wanted to tell him the truth.

But she didn't. Instead she shook her head solemnly and looked him in the eyes as she said, "No."

"You sure," he asked, not certain if he should believe her. "I mean I thought we had a good time at the party the other day........you seemed happy."

"I was," she wrapped her arms around herself. She knew she needed to tell him how she was feeling soon. Even if it didn't end the way she wanted it to, she needed to tell him. Now was not the time though.

Nathan could see she was uncomfortable still. "Then tell me what's up. What's bothering you?"

"Nothing's up," she assured him, pulling her arm out to touch his hand. "I was just thinking about stuff. Really everything's fine."

"You promise?"

Haley forced that plastic smile on her face that she'd learned from Brooke and turned toward Nathan cheerily. "Cross my heart," she said, taking her hand and moving it over her chest in an X.

"Really?"

"Really," she nodded again.

Nathan seemed to be placated by her words for the moment, and smiled back at her. They started walking again when he glanced down at her a second later, and evil smirk across his face.

"Well it's a good thing you're happy then because if you don't start smiling soon I might just have to do this," with lightening quick speed few have rarely ever seen, Haley saw Nathan whip around and scoop her up off her feet so that he was cradling her in his arms above the water.

"Nathan," Haley squealed and wiggled in his arms, as they tightened around her. "Oh my God put me down!."

He laughed at her struggles and moved farther out into the water, so that it came up to his knees. "Mmm I don't know," he contemplated.

"Put me down!" She yelped, glancing down at the water below her and knowing that there was no way she was getting free without getting wet, unless he chose to move back toward the beach. Stubbornly though she still moved about in his arms.

Nathan was amused by her actions and smirked at her moving even more farther out so that the water now hit him at the top of his thighs. "Did I ever tell you my Theory about girls and water?"

Haley shook her head vehemently and watched as the waves came up drenching Nathan's shorts.

"Well I have this theory about girls and water, and how I think they basically all look good soaked in it," he repeated and watched as Haley's eyes widened in horror at the thought of what he was going to do.

"NO," she stated wildly. "I swear on all that is good if you don't put me down I will kill you Nathan!"

He stood still contemplating her words. "All right," he nodded in agreement and then started moving back to the shore but paused looking her straight in the eyes a big Cheshire cat smile fanning out over his face. "Guess I'll die a happy death then," and with that he pulled his arms out from under her quickly watching as she fell into the four-foot water beneath her.

As soon as she'd fallen in it she popped back up, her entire body sopping wet. She hurriedly wiped at her eyes and the wet hair that clung to her face, brushing it back. Her mouth was open in awe that he would actually do such a thing, and the amusement in his eyes only set her off more.  She tried to lunge at him, but before she could even say or do anything he was already jetting back to the beach.


	28. Clarity

We're winding down towards the end here my pretties. There will be a few more chapters after this one, and then I must sadly say this story will becoming to an end. But we're not done quite yet ;)

TOXIC

Chapter 28

Clarity

**The bright red lighted numbers** of Nathan's bedside alarm clock glared back at him wickedly through his blurry eyes. It was nearly three in the morning and he'd been tossing and turning in his bed ever since he laid down. Everyone had decided to call it a night around twelve and instead of driving all the way back to town Luke had suggested they just spend the night at the beach house.  So after finally putting the fire out and lugging everyone up the docks back to the house Lucas and Brooke ended up taking his room to sleep in. Nathan took his as well, while Peyton and Jake took the spare guest room, leaving Haley with the pull out sofa bed in the living room. It wasn't the best setup in the world, but it was the best they could do on short notice.

Nathan however hadn't beenable to get one wink of sleep with the thought of Haley alone in his living room, only a few feet away. He also couldn't get the image of her wet soaked body out of his mind either. Especially the look of joy she'd had on her face coming after him and pulling him back into the water with her. Them both splashing around in their wet clothes, not caring about anyone else. She seemed to be having so much more fun than she was when he'd come up to her earlier; her face sad, and her words distant. It bothered him that she looked so unhappy at times, and he wished he knew how to fix it, make it better for her.

Rolling over on his side once more, Nathan groaned into the side of his pillow. Sleep was definitely not his friend tonight. Giving up he, pushed himself into a sitting position on the bed and slowly pulled his sheet off of him and then placed his feet on the floor. He walked down the hall to the bathroom, wanting a drink of water when he paused and decided that a glass of water from downstairs sounded much more appetizing.

Easing his way down onto the first floor, he softly padded his way across the living room toward the kitchen. He stopped in his tracks though, when he noticed that the sofa bed Haley was supposed to be sleeping on was empty. He traced his footsteps back until he reached the stairs and searched the rest of the first floor for her. As he was going back toward the kitchen, he caught a glimpse of a small body sitting alone on the beach.

"What are you doing out here," he asked when he made it out onto the beach where Haley was sitting, her legs curled up in her arms as the breeze swept over her thin cotton nightgown.

She glanced up at him, as he towered over her. "I couldn't sleep," she said, which was partially the truth. Yes she couldn't fall asleep, but that was mostly due to the fact that she was thinking about him, and hadn't stop thinking about him since the party. She felt like she was on some kind of a ticking time bomb when it came to telling him how she felt, and at any second everything between them could explode and be shattered into a million different irreplaceable pieces.

"Yeah me neither," he shrugged and leaned down to take a seat near by her.

No matter how much he twisted her up inside, Haley knew that not being around Nathan was worse than having to deal with the tug of war in herself. She just didn't know how to tell him that. Sighing she rested her head on her knees and turned to him.

"You know that sofa bed of yours, isn't big with the being comfortable," she teased, rubbing at her back for emphasis.  It was so much easier to be like this with him. Just joke around and have fun."I actually think I might've broken something."

"Hey I offered you my bed," Nathan defended with a smirk, causing Haley to roll her eyes.

"What! And be so rude after you ever so kindly gave me a bath in the ocean earlier tonight? I wouldn't dream of it," she waved her arm about in a dramatic gesture. Nathan laughed and shook his head.

"You know that was fun. Just admit it."

Haley smiled fondly, as if it was memory she would never really forget, and then let her eyes fall down to the sand. She ran her hand through it, picking up a small white seashell and rubbing it in between her fingers.

"I always have fun with you Nathan. It's everyone else...........," she let the words die on her mouth, dropping the seashell back onto the sand, as she looked out ahead of her.

Nathan could see her closing herself off again. This time he was determined to find out what she was talking about.

"Everyone else? What do you mean Haley," he leaned his head to the side to look at her face.

"Nothing," she answered back quickly, quietly.

This was getting ridiculous. The more she didn't talk to him, the more he needed to know. The more it drove him crazy.

"No! Tell me. I want to know," he looked at her upset.

"It doesn't mean anything Nathan. I'm just babbling. Forget it," she tried to brush him off, getting up from her sitting position.

Nathan could see she was getting ready to run away again, and part of him wanted to. He didn't want to deal with any of this bulls hit. He didn't want to put his feelings on the line. And right now all she was giving him was excuses. It was futile to keep fighting, if she was so willing to just give up. Jumping up from the sand, Nathan stood tall by her, his face full of emotions.

"Forget what? You haven't said anything that means anything to me tonight, at the party, or for the last three months," he blew out at her in frustration. He wanted some kind of response from her, something that he knew was real. But when she just stood there staring at him blankly he couldn't take it anymore.

He turned around hard on the balls of his feet ready to walk back to the house when he heard Haley's soft voice. Even as she spoke she knew that another moment And here was yet another moment of no return.

"What scares you the most," she blurted out, not sure where the question came from, but knowing that she had to do anything she could to get him from walking away. If he walked away now he might not ever come back. And then she'd be left in normal once again. She didn't want to be normal anymore, she didn't want to be in normal, and if returning to that meant she'd have to lose Nathan, then Haley was coming to realize she never wanted to feel normal again.

"What scares me the most," he repeated like he was asking himself the question again. "I don't know Haley. Never succeeding I guess. Always being held in my father's shadow. Never really finding my own place in the spotlight. Why? What scares you the most," he asked her the same question honestly. His eyes open wide, his heart open even more.

Haley searched his face with her own, letting the deep blue color of his eyes come over her and take her into a place that no one else had ever been. A place that would always be only hers.

"You," she looked up at him, her body stiff, and her heart racing "Being with you scares me the most Nathan."

"Why?"

"Because I want it so badly, and I know that it has this huge possibility for failure," she ran a jagged hand through her hair, wrapping her other arm around her middle. The feeling of being so exposed was getting to her quickly.

Nathan watched her every move intently. "Yeah but so does anything else."

"No, not really. I mean if you work hard enough at school or your job you move forward eventually. It takes time, but you move forward. But with relationships you can work at it until there's nothing left and it will still fall apart."

"What's this really about Haley," Nathan asked, trying to get to the core of what she was saying. "You being scared to be with me, or just anyone in general?"

"I don't know..........." she shrugged defeatedly, throwing her arms up in the air, when no words would come to her. "I DON'T KNOW!"

"Yes you do," he yelled back at her in anger. "You just don't want to say it."

Haley could see all the built up emotion in him start to leak out.  She could see it in herself as well. All those months of waiting for something you weren't sure was going to happen. What did you do when it was so close you could see it, touch it?. Haley still didn't know, and it gave her a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"Say what? What do you want from me Nathan," she cried.

Nathan shook his head "The truth. Just tell me how you feel?"

That was the million-dollar question now wasn't it. How did she feel? There was no way to skirt around the issue anymore, not after he'd come out point blank and asked her. Honestly she didn't want to hide it anymore anyway. She didn't want to keep running, because all you got from that was a safe emptiness. She didn't want that anymore.

"I'm scared all right. I'm scared and I'm happy and I can't stop thinking about you," she finally let out, her eyes drifting to the ground and then back up to him, his face breaking into a small smile. It seemed her answer had pleased him.

"Well two out of three ain't bad," he grinned and walked up closer to her so that their bodies were only a couple feet away. The proximity was unnerving and comforting all at the same time. Still she didn't understand why he was trying to joke at a time like this.

"This isn't funny Nathan," she wrapped her arms around her body more tightly.

"I'm not laughing," he said more seriously, moving even more closer to her. She looked away from him in protest and could feel his hand come out and pry her arms free from her body, so that he could hold them. His touch was intoxicating and caused her to lose her breath and any sort of thought she had running through her mind. She couldn't fall back into his arms so easily though. Nothing felt resolved. Or maybe she didn't feel resolved.

Pulling her hands away from him, Haley moved back uneasily."Look I can't deal with this right now, everything's too confusing."

"Everything always is confusing Haley!" Nathan uttered to her. "That's not gonna change. You think walking away from me now is going to help you figure things out? Because it won't. Trust me I know. I've tried to get you out of my head for the last six months and nothing's worked. Walking away now isn't going to either."

There was truth to his words, more truth than she'd like to admit, and that drove that sickening feeling in her gut up into her throat."But what if we fall apart? What if it doesn't work out?"

Nathan came back up to her, and drew her to him so that he could look down into her wide brown eyes."What if it does?"

He knew he was putting it all on her, and part of him hated that he had to do that, but he needed to know that she was ready to take that next step with him. He couldn't decide that for her, and he couldn't tell her when the right time was, she needed to see it for herself.

Haley could read the question in his eyes as much as she heard it on her lips. It was all about taking a leap of faith in someone, and risking yourself. Still....

"I want to be with you Nathan, but what about everyone else," Haley asked him the one question he'd been waiting for.

"Screw everyone else Haley. They don't matter. It took losing you to teach me that, but I get it now. All that matters is you and me, and what we want. And you know I want you."

He spoke to her softly, and Haley could see that he really wanted to try. Whatever it was they had between, this undeniable pull that kept bringing them back to each other, was something he was willing to fight for. _She_ was something he was willing to fight for, and for the first time she was finally seeing it through his eyes. How beautiful he thought she really was, and she knew then she didn't want to let this go.

"I want you too Nathan," she said moving to him and reaching out to touch his hand. "I've wanted you ever since I woke up in your arms in that basement in December. I never stopped wanting you."

Nathan's smile broke out wide across his entire face. It was the most gorgeous thing she'd ever seen and it filled her with a warmth she'd never experienced before. That sick feeling in her stomach disappearing as he cupped the side of her face with both his hands and leaned down.

"See now that's all I needed to hear," he whispered to her before crashing his lips against her own and pulling her body flush against his so that they were melded into each others arms, the only sound behind them was the soft crashing of the waves.


	29. Build Me Up

Thanks for all the great feedback guys. I LOVE it! Here's the new update. Hopefully there will be another one out shortly.

TOXIC

Chapter 29

Build Me Up

**It was early the next** morning when Haley and Nathan both walked back inside the beach house from the night before. Somewhere between the first kiss and the last they had dozed off on the warm sand of the beach, a wake up call from the seagulls overhead, letting them know it was time to get up. The crystal blue morning sky above them was growing lighter by the minute.

They trudged back up the dock together, quietly brushing off the last remnants of sand from their backs. It was a comfortable silence though, one that didn't need to be filled with useless words, that were only said to break the awkwardness. There was no awkwardness, not now. Not after what was said last night. Haley still felt a bit raw from her outpouring, but she was trying to not think about that, for now she just wanted to be with Nathan. She just wanted to be content.

Pulling the back door open, Nathan let Haley slip in before him and then he closed it behind him as he too came inside. For a moment they just stood there, looking at each other quietly, happily.

"Do you....do you want something to drink? Some water or something," Nathan suggested, his voice rough and low, his hair jutting out in wayward spikes on his head, as his shirt lay titled on his body, exposing his strong muscular arms. He looked absolutely perfect, Haley surmised with a shy smile.

She pulled a piece of hair behind her ear, her big brown eyes locked on his blue ones, as the morning sun shone through the glass doors onto both of their figures. Haley softly nodded her head at Nathan's question, "No that's ok. I think I'm just gonna go get cleaned up."

Nathan's smile turned up into a slightly mischievous smirk at this, and he pulled at her nightgown to bring her to him. She placed her hands on top of his chest as his arms encircled her waist.

"Want some help," he offered in a whisper against her ear. Haley almost let out a moan as his hot breath hit the skin on her neck, but bit it back, arching her neck up to look at him, a giggle on her mouth.

"Uh, I think I can wash myself Nathan, but thanks for the offer," she said to him, and watched his face fall for a second. It wasn't that the idea of her Nathan in a shower together was unappealing in any way, shape, or form, because it was the exact opposite. But the last thing she wanted to do was rush into sex with him after they'd spent so much time building their relationship up, getting to the point where they were now. Where everything was finally good between them, where everything was right. She just hoped Nathan didn't take it the wrong way.

"Well if you change your mind you know where to find me," he cocked his head to the side and grinned, causing her to break out into another wide smile. He just didn't know when to give up.

"I'll remember that," she nodded, pleased that he didn't seem to upset with her decision to wait.

Raising up on her tip toes, Haley moved her arms up around his neck, as his arms tightened around her body. She waited as he dipped his head down and captured her lips in a searing kiss. Nathan let his tongue brush against her bottom lip, sucking it in as she pushed her mouth harder against his. It was the kind of kiss that left you completely still, and breathless all at the same time. The kind of kiss that stopped the world, made everything else but the two of you completely disappear. The kind of kiss that Haley never wanted to end.

Reluctantly though she pulled away first, knowing too well that if she didn't go now, she wouldn't end up leaving his arms all day. With a heavy breath Nathan released his hold on her body and watched as she began to glide out of the room.

"Come find me when you're done," he told her as she made it toward the stairs.She turned and nodded at him with a smile, disappearing up the steps.

About half way down the hall, a dark-haired figure emerged from one of the back rooms. She rubbed at her eyes, and ran her hand through her hair like a comb, coming to a stop when she saw Haley going into the master bathroom, a dreamy grin plastered all over her face.

"Hey there, smiley. Guess I know who woke up on the right side of the bed this morning," Brooke teased.

Haley rolled her eyes, but couldn't  for the life of her seem to get rid of her smile. It was like an alien had taken control of her face, and commanded her to stay unremittingly happy. Not that she was complaining, but it probably looked freakishly weird to everyone else who was used to the Haley of the past six months. Brooke could always read her though, no matter how she looked on the outside. So there was really no point in hiding her and Nathan's new development, even if she'd wanted too. Which she didn't.

"Good morning to you to Brooke," she breezed out, leaning against the bathroom door frame.

Brooke eyed her suspiciously, taking notice for the first time, of her disheveled night gown, the tiny speckles of sand in her hair and on her skin. "What's with all the sand? You go for an early morning swim?"

"Not exactly," Haley laughed.

"Then what? Tell me," Brooke prodded, and Haley didn't see the purpose in putting off the inevitable, so she let that far off look come over her face again, let her eyes glaze over at the thought of Nathan's kisses the night before, and the way he'd said he only wanted her.

"Let's just say that um, me and Nathan finally figured it out," she bit at her bottom lip, watching Brooke's eyes widen and then return to normal.

Brooke waved her finger up at Haley "As in you two are together now?"

"I think so," she smiled and waited for Brooke's response. It was important to her what her best-friend thought, no matter how much she might deny it. Her past with Nathan was complicated, and to know that Brooke was willing to look beyond Nathan's history with women was a big step.

Uneasily Haley watched as Brooke brought her hand up to touch Haley's hair tenderly. "Well it's about damn time," she spoke quietly and saw Haley's face brighten.

"Guess it is," the other girl agreed, and then they both laughed.

A little while later, Brooke found her way downstairs, only to come across Nathan sitting on the living room couch watching ESPN and eating a large bowl of sugar filled cereal.

"Good morning," she rang out with cheer as she headed to the refrigerator for some orange juice.

Nathan glanced over at the new figure in the room and mumbled, "Morning," with mild interest, his eyes focused on the game before him.

Brooke filled her glass and then waited in the kitchen debating. Part of her wanted to just go on about the way her and Nathan had been acting for the last three months now, just generally not talking to each other. She ignored him, and he ignored her and they got along like always. No interaction, no drama. But that was when Brooke was still undecided about whether Nathan would ever stand up and be the man that Haley deserved, and sure enough he had. She didn't know what to think or what to say to that exactly, and it probably wasn't her place, but still, she felt that this silent feud between them needed to end. If for nothing else then Haley's sake. She deserved to have a boyfriend and a friend that would at least be cordial to one another.

Coming out of the kitchen and standing by the couch, Brooke waited for a minute until a commercial came on. When there ceased to be basketball on the screen, Nathan realized that Brooke's form was staring down at him on the couch, her eye's intent.

"So...........," she began when Nathan finally looked up at her.

"So...........," Nathan repeated, not sure what she wanted or why she was trying to speak to him.

Brooke placed her hand on her hip, realizing that discreetness with Nathan, was like trying to teach a dog to meow. It was useless and irritating, and got you nowhere. Being direct was the only way to go, and Brooke did it best above all else. It was the only good thing she'd ever learned from either of her parents, and she going to put it into good use.

"So you and Haley," she blurted out, and for a second Nathan didn't move, just sat there and stared back at her. Until finally he shook his head back and forth in laughter.

"What's so funny," she tapped her foot on the floor impatiently, unsure of this response.

"You_ always_ are the first to find out about everything, aren't you Brooke," Nathan chuckled, pushing himself off the couch and going into the kitchen. He began to rinse his now empty bowl in the sink, as Brooke followed after him.

"And you just hate it don't you?"

"Nah. Not really," he shrugged, and silence came over them for a minute.

Brooke crossed her arms in front of her body, thinking about all the things that had happened in their lives since highschool. "You think it's always going to be with weird between us Nathan? Me with your brother, and you with my best-friend?"

Nathan leaned against the kitchen counter, contemplating her question. "Even when we were together things were weird between us. Probably because we were with each other and not the right people. We just didn't want to admit it," he said honestly, and Brooke was taken aback at how true his words were.

"And when, can I ask, did you become this wise old sage," Brooke said jokingly, and they both laughed.

"Even the Scott men have their moments Brooke," he stated, passing by her and heading to the stairs to change himself.

Brooke let him get half way up the stairs before she spoke. "Well make sure you have a lot of those with Haley, alright?"

Nathan nodded to her softly, solemnly, in a quiet vow, and then continued up the rest of the steps to his room.

......................

**The rest of day went** by quickly. When everyone was finally up and dressed they all decided to head out to the beach again to hang out and lounge around with each other. The guys threw around a football, while the girls sat and sunbathed. It was peaceful, and there was this kind of serenity to the whole day that everyone could feel. There was nothing exceptionally special that happened, it was just calm. The kind of calm after a huge storm has just passed, and you know that you are going to survive.

By the time the sun began to fall along the horizon, and the oranges, pinks and reds filled the sky the whole group trudged back up to the house to get their things to head home.

Outside by the cars, Nathan unpacked some of his and Lucas's gym gear to make room for more people in his backseat. From where he stood he could see Haley, Jake and Brooke messing around as Lucas lugged some of his gear inside, grabbing Jake for help as he went. Pausing for a moment, Nathan stood and gazed ts Haley as she laughed with Brooke about something they'd been joking around about. She looked so beautiful when she smiled, it was mesmerizing and took him off guard in a way that he never thought anything ever could.

Coming up beside him, Peyton rested her body against Nathan's SUV, and quietly watched his face. When he noticed her staring, he looked back to his open trunk .

"What," she asked him when he suddenly stopped what he was doing and began busying himself with something else. At her question though he looked up at her strangely.

"You're staring at me. I should be the one asking you that question," he countered, still rearranging things.

Peyton sort of laughed and shrugged realizing he was right. "So have you told her yet?"

Nathan eyed her strangely, not sure what to make of her question, or why she started this bizarre conversation in the first place. "Told who, what," he asked and moved more things out of the trunk for the distraction.

Peyton merely leaned closer to him, her demeanor even and calm as always. "Haley.....have you told her that you love her."

The question should have taken him by complete surprise. Neither he nor Haley had ever discussed the word love. The word_ want_ had come up over and over again, but never the word love. It was supposed to be too soon. She'd never said anything to him about love. He'd never said anything to her. Yet when he thought about it, the idea didn't seem so crazy. He didn't know what to do.

"Uhhh I don't........," Nathan tried to shake off her accusation, but realized even as he was doping it, it was a lie. And he didn't want to lie anymore, not to himself, to not anyone else, and especially not to Haley. With a deep breath he turned his toward her. ".......How'd you know," he uttered, meeting the blondes eyes.

"Because when she smiles," Peyton stated with ease, "You do too."

And then she was gone, walking back toward the group and leaving Nathan alone to think about her words. He did of course, think about what she said, over and over again in fact, all the way driving home. Occasionally he would glance over at Haley in the passenger seat as she looked out the window.

When she caught him glancing at her the third time, she shifted in her seat so that she was facing him. She rested her head against the back of the seat and let her hand rest on top of his thigh.

"What are you doing tomorrow," he asked her calmly even though he was feeling anything but that.

Her face glowed in the orange sunset, her light brown hair shining, her eyes sparkling as she gazed back at him. "Hanging out with you," she said easily, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Good," he grinned back at her. "I've got something I want to show you."

"What is it," she asked, raising her head up from the seat.

"Tomorrow," he maintained quietly. So she smiled and nodded in acceptance, before turning back to the window.


	30. Spread Your Wings and Fly

Sorry about the long wait for this update everyone, but I was having some writer's block trouble. I'm pretty happy with this chapter though, despite the trouble getting it going. Hope you all like it too. Thanks as always for your encouraging and wonderful feedback. You make me blush. You really do!

TOXIC

Chapter 30

Spread Your Wings and Fly

**Haley followed Nathan down what** felt like a long corridor or hallway of some sort. She wasn't exactly sure what it was though, because she had her hand covering her eyes, and despite her best efforts to peek through her own fingers, Nathan kept catching her and snapping at her to stop. When she felt him halt for a moment, and heard him rifling around to be what sounded like his pockets for something she couldn't hold in her agitation any longer.

"Can I look yet," she grumbled, and Nathan let out a laugh.

"You're really sexy when you're angry you know that," he admitted, pulling a silver key from inside his wallet. "And no, you can't look yet. Just wait one more minute."

"That's what you said five minutes ago! And FYI, I don't like this game anymore. You're not fun to play with," she pouted like a petulant child.

"What, because I don't let you cheat and look?! That would ruin the surprise," he blew out, sticking the key in the lock of the door they'd stopped in front of.

"Well I don't like surprises," she countered, and started to move forward when she felt Nathan wrap his arm around her waist and lead her into a room of some kind.

"Yes you do. Now are you going to stop arguing with me so you can see what I brought you here for?"

"Is that a rhetorical question," she teased and felt him tickle at her sides. She tried to pull away, her hand still covering her face, but Nathan's grip was too strong. Reluctantly she gave up and huffed out a breath of air, trying to come off more irritated than she actually was. "Alright, alright, go ahead."

"Ok. On the count of three I want you to pull your hand away," he instructed, positioning her in the perfect spot in the room. Haley still didn't see what the big fuss was about. Yesterday he made it seem like this "whatever it was" he had to show her was no big deal, just something they could do while spending time together. But from the second he'd gotten off the highway and gone into a neighborhood nearby, he'd had her cover her eyes like there was some grand secret he'd been waiting years to show her. Actually she kind of thought it was cute, at first, until he'd gone all Nurse Ratchet on her whenever she tried to take a peek. Now she was just ready to get it over with and see what it was. She never really was one of those people that enjoyed the suspense. She much preferred to know how it was all going to end from the very begging. That way you could make out a plan of action, or decide how you wanted to feel about it, instead of sitting back and letting it play out in front of you. No way of knowing what was going to happen. That was the scary part.

However, this playful, quirky side of Nathan was worth going through this ridiculous game. She'd never seen him do playful before, and she liked it. A lot. But she had no intention of letting him know that. Not yet anyway. "'_Wait till the count of three_?' You're such a nerd Nathan," she giggled, after repeating his words back to him. He scowled down at her for a second and then popped his ever-present smirk back across his face.

"You only wish you were as cool as me. Now be quiet and wait to three," he ordered, placing his hand on top of hers so that she couldn't pull it away early. "Ready? One......Two.......Three," and with he whipped his hand away quickly so that Haley could remove hers as well.

She blinked her eyes open and shut a few times, letting them adjust to the light in the room. Slowly things came into focus and what she could tell that she was in some kind of studio apartment. It was fully furnished with all the basics like seating, television, stereo and kitchen amenities. The walls were bare and white, but alarmingly clean and fresh looking. In fact the entire apartment smelled as if it had just been moved into and then cleaned. Haley wondered if he might have possibly cleaned for her. And the thought warmed her heart. It wasn't some grand gesture, but it was something he'd done for her, because he wanted to show her his new home.

"So this is yours," she asked, turning around and walking about the room, checking everything out.

"Yeah. I signed the lease last week, but just got all my stuff set up the day before we met at the beach."

"It's really nice Nathan. I like it," she walked over to the large open window on the main wall and looked out it. A beautiful view of the park lay below the building, green trees and rich purple flowers bloomed all over, and there was a red and blue swing set not far from a bike path that lead into what looked like a small woods. All of it was so charming. So not what she thought Nathan would ever want for himself.

"I thought you would. Do you want the rest of the tour," he came up to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her to him, so that he could look down and meet her eyes.

There was something intense about his gaze in that moment, and Haley wasn't sure what to expect. Every time she thought one thing was going to happen, the exact opposite did, and there was no exception when it came to Nathan.

"What else is there to see," she smiled up at him, placing her hands on his muscular back, rubbing them up and down softly. She could tell her touch was having an effect on him, because his eye lids lowered just a little, his voice grew a bit huskier.

"The bedroom," he mentioned softly, and saw Haley audibly flinch at his insinuation.

"Maybe next time," she uttered, slowly easing her way out of his grasp. She straightened her shirt by the hem, and stumbled back a few steps. Nathan watched in her in curiosity, but wasn't able to say anything when she continued to speak, her voice awkward, her eyes hesitant. "I should probably get going anyway. I've got a lot of errands to run and stuff like that.....," she trailed off, and wanted to move toward the front door, but Nathan confused expression stopped her. His hand came up and he placed it gently on her arm.

"What? Haley you just got here," he said, his words more upset than he would've liked them to sound. But he couldn't understand what had happened in the few moments between them coming into this.

"I know," she nodded, and looked away. She was trying to hide what was bothering her by doing this. He knew she thought he couldn't read her if he couldn't see her eyes, and most times he couldn't. Everything she was, everything she felt shown through her eyes like an open doorway to her heart and soul. Yet, he could still tell something wasn't right.

"Then what's going on then? We were fine two minutes ago," he argued, and she moved her hand up to take hold of the hand that was touching her arm.

"And we're fine now," she maintained, before letting his hand drop from her own. It was all getting to close now. If she let him, she knew she would fall right back into bed with him. It's where she wanted to be, but not at the expense of their relationship. They'd both fought so hard to get it to a place where it was strong and sturdy. Taking such a big leap without thinking it through......well that could damage it all over again.

Nathan didn't know this though. Didn't know what she was thinking, or why she had suddenly pulled away from him again. He so badly wanted to be able to read her thoughts, to know what was going through her mind. "Then why do you want to leave? Did I do something wrong?"

His words were almost pleading as he spoke, and that brought her some source of comfort. She didn't want him to be upset by her own insecurities, but she needed to know how he felt about her. Yes, they'd both claimed they wanted to be together, and at the time it was everything he'd wanted it to be. But something between that moment and this one had changed. She'd changed, and now she wanted more. Especially before they moved forward again. It wasn't that she wanted to take a step back, God knows, they'd been doing the back and forth game for months now. It was just a simple gesture, a word, something to let her know that he was there. That he would be there, from now.

She didn't feel right in asking him for this. It wasn't the sort of thing you requested. It was a gift, from one person to another. And when he was ready, if he was ready, he'd give it to her. And she would wait for him, because her heart was already there.

Now though, she was the one who needed time. "I can't.........," she began to explain to him, but faltered. It was so much easier in her head. Words just didn't seem to fit what she was trying to say, and she could see this whole situation was upsetting to him.

"Can't what," he grew impatient, his blue eyes a vast sea of emotions. It almost broke her heart to know that she was going to hurt him with what she was about to say.

"I can't....sleep with you Nathan. Not yet," she finally blew out, her head hung low in embarrassment. It seemed so crass and vulgar coming out and saying it like that, like it wasn't something special. Yet that's why she was saying it in the first place. Being with him, making love with him, for their first time as a couple was something she wanted to remember. Not just another lustful, heat of the moment kind of deal.

Nathan tried to compute what she was saying into his head. Tried to understand where this had all come from. Yes, he'd mentioned them going to the bedroom, but he was only half-kidding. He hadn't brought her to his apartment for that, he thought she knew him better than that now. Still her words stung. Why couldn't they be together? After everything they've been through all he wanted to do now was hold her, and be with her. He didn't understand.

".........Why not," he asked, his eyes squinted, his forehead a roadmap of wrinkles.

His questioned angered her more than she could fathom in that second and so she unintentionally raised her voice, her arms flew out. "Because!" she cried. "Because I don't want us to rush into things like last time."

"But it's not like last time," he argued, and she looked down again, studying the ground.

"I know that. But it could be," her tone was solid, and Nathan knew she really believed what she was saying, and he hated that she still had so little trust in _them_.

"Look, I want to be with you , and only you ok," he stated, stepping to her and taking both her hands in his, leaning down a bit so he could make eye contact with her.

"I want to be with you too," she looked at him, her hands trembling a bit.

"Then what's stopping you," he asked, and again she glanced down. She stared at the new soft white carpet beneath her black flips and studied the contrasting colors. You'd never think looking at them at a glance that they would ever go with one another. Yet the more you looked, the more you watched, the more you could see how truly beautiful they were together. How they each compliment each other in their own different ways. It was quite fantastic really, how two entirely opposite colors could blend so well together.

Haley continued to stare down at her feet as she spoke, her words uneven as she said them. "What if we sleep together and you realize that same thing you realized when you left me the first time. What if I wake up and you're not there," she choked out, and felt her eyes involuntarily begin to water. She'd never been and overly emotional kind of person. Years spent in a big family, you grew to be tough, to take it like a man. But something about this moment, the way Nathan was holding her hands, rubbing soft circles into her flesh as he tried to search her face, it was all over overwhelming.

Nathan could see she was trying to pull away from him, and wouldn't let her. His heart was thumping a mile a minute in his chest, and his stomach was scrunched up into a huge knot, but he was determined to say what he needed her to hear.

"That's not going to happen Haley," he leaned down a bit more. "I'm not that person anymore. That guy, he was afraid. Afraid of what he felt when he kissed you, when he was with you. He didn't know what he wanted, so he ran away......I know what I want. And that's you," he let go of one of her hands and then cupped her chin, bringing it up so that he could look at her. A single tear fell on her cheek and he tenderly wiped it away.

"Yeah and how can you be so sure," she said, her voice trembling.

"Because I love you Haley," he stated, and realized that despite how terrifying he thought it would be, it was the easiest thing he'd ever said. He smiled down at her then and continued. "I tried to deny, and I tried to fight it, but I couldn't .You just came back into my life that night and messed it all up, made it perfect at the same time. And I never want to let that go. I never want to let you go."

Tears were falling rapidly down her cheeks now as she listened to him speak, his words were like poetry to her ears, and she wondered how anything would ever seem as beautiful to her now as what he'd just said to her right then.

Shyly she smiled at him, "Yeah," she asked, making sure it was all real.

Everything he said was true. And he knew then that the conversation hadn't been about sex. Not really. It was about her being scared, not knowing how he really felt, and he saw that now. More clearly than ever.

He nodded down at her, his face calm and strong. "Yeah," he affirmed, looking more gorgeous than ever.

Nathan felt her grip on his hand tighten, felt her body lean into his. "Well good," she spoke confidently now, "because I love you too."

And with that, Nathan's smile widened across his whole face. All of his striking features accented by the curve of his mouth and the brightness that shown through his eyes. Of all the things he'd heard, and had been said to him he couldn't remember a time when anything ever felt so right. There was no firework sin the background as he scooped her up into his arms and crushed his mouth to hers. There was no parade, no trombones blasting out a tune, or any cheesy music playing on the radio. It was just _them_. Him and her, together. His lips against hers, softly touching and then deepening as his tongue met hers, their arms wrapped tightly around one another. Their bodies molding as one.

When their mouths parted and they looked at each other, eyes hazy and breathless, Nathan looked at her sternly. "No more running, alright?"

She let out a small laugh and nodded in affirmation, her smile never wavering. "Yes sir."

"Should we shake on it," he said teasingly, not even attempting to remove his arms from around her body. Haley chose not to respond to his question and instead took her arms which where wrapped around his neck and placed them on his head bringing it to hers in another earth shattering kiss. Unsure of what the next moment would bring, and knowing that maybe, just maybe this time she could handle the suspense.


	31. Before Sunrise

Hey all! I know I've been a horrible, horrible, no, good, very bad writer, and haven't updated in like a millennia and I'm so very very sorry. Thank you all for being so patient with me. I love your feedback and you. It keeps me going even when I get unbearably stuck.And since it has been so long here's a re-cap.  
  
Re-cap: Everybody boogie'd down at the beach and had crazy amounts of fun. Jake couldn't make a fire, and Brooke found out about Haley and Nathan's blossoming relationship. Nathan also got a new apartment and surprised Haley by showing it to her. She got scared when there was mention of the bedroom, still unsure of Nathan's feelings for her, when he went and surprised her again that day by saying that he loved her (awww!). She said it back and then they kissed like rock stars.

TOXIC

Chapter 31

Before Sunrise

****

****

**The only light inside Nathan's** apartment was the soft blue glow of the television screen as it shined out at the couple on the couch. It had only been a few hours since Nathan had told her he loved her, only few a hours since she had it back to him as well. And yet despite the time that passed, she could still feel her heart thumping inside her chest when she remembered how the words sounded in his mouth.

The night wasn't what anyone would cal remarkable. Nothing special was planned or done. There wasn't any red roses or candlelight dinners, or crazy parties. It was just the two of them alone together. And for the first time in months, since Nathan kissed her on that beach and told her loved her, she found she was happy. The real kind of happy, the kind that burrows deep inside of you and stays there.

She wanted to ask Nathan he felt it too, the same inner warmth, that makes you feel safe and cared for, but she didn't have to. She could see it in the way he sat with her on his couch and watched t.v., his arm wrapped tightly around her shoulders, his body forcing itself to keep put despite the restlessness she knew he was feeling. It was the little things he did, that let her know how he felt. She would always prefer his soft kisses to an expensive dinner, his sweet words to a bouquet of roses, his abiding patience to an empty promise.

As the credits began to roll on the movie they'd been watching, Haley glanced down at the clock on Nathan's DVD player to see that it was late. She should probably be getting home soon. Only problem was, she didn't want to wake him up. She couldn't blame him for falling asleep really. When choosing movies, he'd been the one to let her decide, and so she'd chosen something a little less action filled and a little more girly than he would have preferred. About half way in, when she came back from using the bathroom, there he was, head and arms hung back over the couch, his mouth slightly open and his eyes shut as he breathed in and out heavily. She thought about waking him at the time, but ultimately decided against it, and instead snuggled up into the crook of his arm where she finished out the movie in silence.

It was getting rather late now though, and she wanted to get home before daylight. How to wake him was the question though. He really did look awfully cute when he was asleep, and to ruin that just felt like such a shame. She didn't want to spend the rest of the night on the couch however, and so with her mind made up, she sat up beside him and brought her hands forward on his side. She brushed lightly at his stomach, nudging him softly.

"Nathan.....Nathan......wakey, wakey," she purred into his ear. He stayed completely motionless, his breathing still and even. With a long sigh, she leaned further forward, closer to his face, her hands creeping under his T-shirt to the bare flesh that lay there. She began tickling him ever so lightly, just a feathers touch.

"Nathan Scott it's time to get up," she sang to him, but he still didn't move. She didn't want to scream at him, but he obviously wasn't coming out of dreamland any time soon. Drastic measures needed to be taken.

Scooting as close as she could to his body, she tilted her head to the side so that it was diagonal with his. She leaned down over his neck, searching for that soft spot she remembered that he would hardly ever let her touch. The one that drove him crazy and made him moan like wild dog. Once she found the spot she was looking for, she edged her body over his and brought out her tongue. She then proceeded to trail it down across his throat as slowly as possible.

Within seconds she felt his body jerk up underneath her, and so she pulled away quickly, retreating to the other side of the couch.

"What? What's going on," Nathan rubbed at his sleepy eyes as he tried to look around dazed and confused, his hair rumpled and sexy. Haley stifled a laugh at his appearance, and tried to act casual.

"The movie's over," she stated simply, resting her arm on the arm rest at her end of the couch.

"What did I miss," he asked, more awake this time, but still dazed from his jolt back into the real world.

"Nothing much," she shrugged. "Just the whole movie."

Nathan curled his mouth into a grin, and ran a hand over his face and into his hair to smooth it out. When he noticed Haley's scowl from across the couch he knew he'd made a mistake by falling asleep. Time for apologies, he figured, and started to crawl down the couch to her. "I'm sorry baby....I am. But it was boring. I couldn't help it."

She feigned hurt, "_The Bridges of Madison County_, is not boring Nathan. It's a classic. And you'd know that, if you'd kept your eyes open past the beginning credits."

  


He flopped down in front of her, his head coming to rest on her legs. "I'm sorry, I thought it was boring ok? If it doesn't involve sports I get bored. What can I say?" He grumbled and started to pull her body toward his. She tried to resist him by not moving as he wished, and so he pouted up at her.

"What about me, I'm not sports. Do you get bored with me?"

He knew she was just trying to challenge him because she was annoyed that he didn't like her silly romantic/tragedy/ love story. She wanted to see him squirm. It was part of the reason they got along so well with each other when they weren't fighting. She would get irritated with him, and force him to look at things from another perspective. He would of course, and then realize she was right and she would be happy. And when she was happy, he was happy. Everything worked out.

He could see now was going to be another one of those times. So instead of fighting it, when he was already this tired and off his game, he was just going to give in. He pulled her closer to him, until she was sort of half laying half sitting on his lap."No I don't get bored with you. And you want to know why? Because you're not a movie, you're my girlfriend."

"Whatever. It's a good movie Nathan. You would've liked it," she muttered, her body still rigid against his.

Nathan rolled his eyes, heaved out a heavy sigh and then brought his hands up to her face, directing it toward him. "Ok, what if I promise to watch it with you again? Will that make it better?" He questioned her, his eyes big and pleading even in the semi-darkness of the room.

Haley couldn't stand saying no to him when he gave her that look. So cute and puppy like, she loved having this kind of control over him. Loved being able to make him do things he wouldn't for others. And seeing as she wasn't really all that upset to begin with, it wouldn't be that big of deal to just let it go. More than likely she wouldn't even make him watch the stupid movie again anyway, but it was the principal that mattered.

"I guess I can let you slide this one time," she teased, relaxing into his lap, and bringing her arm up around his neck.

"Oh yeah," he leaned his head down to connect with her lips, his voice hot against her cheek.

"Yeah," she answered, before he crushed his lips to hers. The kiss quickly becoming heated.

Nathan didn't wait long before he stuck his tongue out a little asking for entrance, and she readily replied but letting him, all the while their bodies meshed together tightly.

Soon Haley could feel her body heat start to rise. She could sense that this simple kiss was turning into more than she had bargained for, and so she forced herself to breathlessly pull away.

"I should really go home," she said through heavy breaths, her forehead pressed up against Nathan's.

He sat quite for a moment, catching his own breath, and trying to regain some semblance of thought other than: Haley. Mouth. Tongue.

His eyes fluttered shut as he held her securely in his arms, and tried not to concentrate too much on that fact that her thigh was rubbing up against his crotch in the most uncomfortable, (or depending how you look at it, comfortable) way.

"Nathan?"

"Yeah, yeah ok," he answered out quickly, slowly getting his bearings back, despite every other cell in his body telling him not too.

He moved to get up off the couch and away from the temptation, but saw Haley reluctant to follow. He gave her a 'what' look, and she sort of shrugged, her expression almost frustrated.

"I don't want to go," she confessed, but he could tell she was a little torn about the decision. He, however, was not.

"Then don't go," he sat down beside her, grabbing her hand and lacing it with his.

"But what if–."

"What if Brooke and Peyton wake up and your not there and they freak out and have to do something without you for once? What if your mom calls and you don't pick up? What if the sky falls and we all die tomorrow? Who cares Haley? It doesn't matter. If you want to stay, then stay. You know I want you to."

She smiled at his words, her thumb strumming softly on top of his thumb, the heat of his body and the smell that's just so distinctly him, slowly lulling her into his arms.

"You want me to stay," she asked, and couldn't help the girly giggle that escaped her mouth, when he bent his neck down and nipped at her neck.

"You know I do," he whispered hot and husky into her ear. His hand letting go of hers, coming up around her back, pulling her completely on top of him on the couch.

In that second she decided to let all of her worries from before and earlier in the day, float out of her mind as his hands danced around her body, touching the uncovered flesh of her arms and where her shirt road up on her back.

She pushed up farther on him and began trailing kisses up and down his neck. She could hear soft indistinct moans as he rubbed his face against her shoulder. The room became suddenly unbearably hot as his hands traveled farther and farther up her back, down around her stomach, and then over her breasts.

When she finished kissing his neck, she brought one hand up to direct his face to hers. His tongue instantly found her mouth, his lips softly and slippery. He grabbed a hold of her waist and yanked her farther on top of him as he leaned into the corner of the couch, the remote control digging into his side.

"Haley," he breathed, once he moved away from her mouth and began sucking at her bare collarbone.

"Nathan," she breathed back at him, her eyes closed at all the wonderful sensations she was feeling, all the things he was causing her to feel.

"Haley," he spoke again, his voice more disgruntled this time than the first, his body trying to arch up off the couch and away from the blasted remote that was continuing to jab into his spine.

"What," she looked at him as he began to stand up, his hands refusing to release hold on her body, or on her at all.

"Lets go to the bedroom," he said, his eyes heavy, and his lips curved into a sexy grin. And all Haley could do, her heart still thumping in her chest, was smile back and nod.


	32. Nothing Left to Hide

Author's Note at the end!

TOXIC

Chapter 32

Nothing Left to Hide

**_She felt herself sink into_**_ the soft curves of Nathan's bed, with little resistance. Her arms immediately wrapped around his neck as he hovered over, not really laying on top of her, but still letting their bodies touch._

_His eyes slowly wandered down over her naked body, and she shifted uncomfortably under his gaze, even though the room was almost pitch black. He shook his head at her self-consciousness and brushed his hand softly against her face, pressed his lips to hers._

_"I want you so much," he whispered into her ear as he pulled her closer against his bare chest._

_Haley felt her heart constrict, and her throat clench up. It felt like she'd been waiting her whole life for him to say that to her, say it and mean it with his entire soul. Her eyes began to automatically water from all the overwhelming emotions running through her. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly and kissed Nathan again, blinking back the tears._

_Nathan took no notice of this as he moved his lips down her neck, showering all his attention on the soft skin of her throat and collarbone. Haley ran her hands through his hair, and tangled her fingers into it tightly, quiet moans escaping her mouth as she focused her mind on Nathan's touches._

_"I need you," she said to him, pulling his head up and bringing it back to her. Her hands roaming over the taut muscles of his back and the smooth skin that covered them._

_Nathan caught her eyes this time, saw the wet rings around her eyes and paused. He brought a hand up to wipe them, but she grabbed a hold of it, lacing their fingers together and kissed his knuckles._

_"Haley, I . . . ," he began, but she pushed a finger to his lips. There were no words for a moment like this. Everything that needed to be said, had already been said. All Haley wanted now was to be with him. Feel his love, and let him feel hers. They'd wasted enough time, talking, saying things that they meant and didn't mean. Now it was about showing it._

_"I know Nathan," she smiled at him, their eyes locked together. And then he knew._

Everything after that, sort of felt like a soft velvety blur. Touches hear, caresses there, Nathan's warm body on top of hers, as he gently joined them together. And then the room became very hot and her mind became fuzzy. Everything was peaceful and quiet, and still.

Haley felt like she was floating on a warm bubble or a cloud maybe. She felt weightless and light, like all the things that had ever caused her pain, or stress, or worry had just been lifted off of her. She was finally free. Free to be the person she always wanted to be, or could be, or maybe just be the person she really was.

Even before she opened her eyes, a giddy wave came over her, and she smiled. The kind of smile that shows through your whole face, makes your eyes crinkle in the corners, and your cheeks puff up just a little at the top, stretches your lips so wide that you think they might burst.

She felt that warm bubbly feeling in her belly rise up through her again when she remembered that she was at Nathan's apartment, in his bed.

Her eyes fluttered open quickly, and she could see that it wasn't too far from, the darkness of night gave way to a lighter blue hue that came through the window over Nathan's bed, causing a grayish light to filter into the room.

Haley tried to turn over on the bed, her body tangled in the sheets. She kicked her legs out and tried ineffectively to reach for Nathan's body, but found her arm couldn't quite stretch as far as she wanted. She huffed and puffed, attempting to free herself, but found it was useless. When she'd almost given up, out of breath and hot she looped her head through were the sheet was against her chest and felt the rest slowly fall away. Wrestling her way out of the rest of the confining mess of fabric she turned over to see Nathan laying silently beside her, his eyes wide open and awake, his mouth curved into an amused grin.

"Having trouble," he snickered, propping himself up on one elbow.

She glanced down at her previous predicament and puffed out a laugh. Somewhere in the few hours that they'd been asleep, she'd managed to not only steal all the covers from her companion, but take them and completely ensnare herself in them like a fly in a web. She thought about blushing from embarrassment or her own ridiculousness, but chose to instead look into Nathan's eyes. They were ocean blue, and sparkling in a way she'd never seen before. This look he was giving her, it was something new. And it made her toes tingle and her heart skip a beat, as silly as it seemed.

"You're supposed to be sleeping." She pointed her finger at him sternly, as if it would erase the image of her grappling in his sheets like a monkey just seconds before.

"I was watching you sleep."

He let his arm stretch out again, so that he could rest his head on top of it leisurely. He stared at her with a quiet contentedness, and she couldn't help but blush.

"Why," she askedd in that girly way, only young women in love can. Her eyes big and glassy as a smile lit her face, and she snuggled back down onto the mattress next to his body. His skin was slightly warmer than hers, despite not having any covers, and she realized he was more hot blooded than her, which would probably work to her advantage if she was always this much of a bed hog.

Nathan sort of shrugged at her question, and tilted his head off his arm, his eyes never leaving hers. "I dunno. Just wanted to."

"How long have you been awake?"

"Half and hour maybe. Not that long," he snaked his arm under her side and pulled her flush against his chest. She immediately enveloped his neck with her arms. Their lips met softly, smoothly, so that the fervent feeling in their bellies could slowly work its way down.

"Mmm, this is nice," Haley murmured into his mouth. Her tongue running along his upper lip over and down his bottom one. She moved away from his mouth and kissed a trail down his cheek to his neck. Lavishing all of her attention on the bronzed skin of his Adams apple and then to the corner by his ear.

"What," Nathan groaned at her ministrations, not sure he'd heard what she'd said just a moment ago, his mind only focusing on the feeling of her hot mouth on his flesh.

"This is nice. Being here with you, in your bed. I don't ever want to leave"

Nathan attempted to open his eyes, but failed miserably. Instead he continued to let Haley ravish his neck. His arms came around her back and he ran them up and down, until he could grab her butt and cup it his hands. He used the leverage he had to hold her tighter to him. He knew things were getting pretty heated, and he was enjoying it, loving it actually. But he needed to stop them before they went too far. Because otherwise, they really never would leave his bed. Not that the thought wasn't tempting, but right now he had another goal in mind.

"But if we never leave, that means you don't get your surprise," he said just loudly enough for her to hear, and suddenly the kissing on his neck stopped. For which he was slightly grateful, but more so unsatisfied

"What surprise," she sat up abruptly, a look of suspicion covering her eyes.

"Well if I tell you, it won't be a surprise now, will it?"

"Yeah, and the last time you said you had a surprise for me, we ended up in your apartment, _here_," Haley pointed dramatically to the bed. "So excuse me if I don't exactly trust your "surprises","she held her hand up to do air quotes, and Nathan burst into laugher.

"Don't act like you didn't enjoy where we ended up, just as much as I did," he pushed himself up so that he was sitting opposite of her. That cocky grin spread all over his face, yet there was more kindness to it now. It was more gentle.

Still, Haley shook her head at his bravado and ran a hand through her messy chocolate curls. "I'm just saying. . . I'm not sure if you and I agree on what a surprise is, that's all."

"What if I promise you'll like it? No, love it. LOVE IT. Cross my heart and hope to—."

Haley pressed a hand up to his mouth to hush him, and gave a relenting smile. There's was no fighting Nathan. What he wanted, he got. And if it was something he wanted to do for her, then who was she to argue, really?

"Ok, ok. What do I have to do."

Nathan gave a wide toothed grin, knowing all along that she would fold, and hopped out of bed quickly, running over to where their clothes were spread out sporadically on his hardwood floor.

"Here," he threw a shirt at her. "Get dressed."

...........................

**It was still fairly dark[** as Haley sat in the passenger's seat of Nathan's Bronco, staring blankly out the window. For all the playing around they'd done getting down to the vehicle and out of the parking lot, the last few minutes between them had been remarkably quiet.

Haley considered asking Nathan what he was thinking about, but decided against it. It was nice being able to just be with him. Not always having to fill every moment of conversation with meaningless chatter. Sometimes silence brought out the most introspective thoughts. Not that she was really having any. Just sitting and watching the dark blue scenes pass by her window, and listening to her belly rumble with hunger, was enough.

She felt Nathan glance at her every minute or so, and then back to the road. Found herself doing it as well. Sort of making sure he was still there, as crazy as it sounded. She had to keep making sure it was real. He was really hers. They were really together.

"I always liked you."

She wasn't even sure she'd heard it at first. Thought maybe she'd just imagined he'd said it, until she turned to look at him, and he was eyeing her, waiting for some kind of response, even if it was a mute one.

"I-I did too," she conceded a bit shyly, and placed her hand on top of his, when it lay by his side, rubbing circles on his skin with her thumb.

Nathan smiled back at her, knowing what she meant, but then shook his head, acknowledging that he was talking about something different. "No, I mean----I wasn't going to tell you this but-----I liked you before. Before you ever dated Lucas."

Haley blinked her eyes, moved her head forward, the word 'what' on the tip of her lips, but not quite coming through her voice. She was confused. Very confused.

Nathan had a thoughtful expression on his face as he continued to explain. "I always saw you around school all time, because you tutored half the football, basketball, and baseball teams. Everyone always said how nice you were, how fun you were to be around. . . . .. .There was this one time in Mr. Pelts class, we were doing logarithms on the board and I didn't do my homework the night before because of some party after a game, and I was screwing it all up. You were doing one on the board next to me, and you saw I was confused, and you whispered the answer to me, so I didn't have to look like and idiot front of the whole class. I don't know why you did it, because I'd never done anything but ignore you before that. But you helped me anyway. I thought about that a lot afterwards, about you, being nice to me for no reason . No one had ever done that for me before."

"I can't believe you remember that," Haley had her hand tightly wrapped around his, although her body was completely still. She watched him with awe.

"But why did you . . . " she trailed off, not sure what to say, or rather how to say it.

"Why was I such an ass to you," he finished for her, and all she could do was look on.

Nathan set his eyes back on the road. Somehow it made it easier to confess these things if he didn't have to look at her.

"Because I liked you, and you didn't know I existed. Or you liked Lucas better, and neither of those thoughts really appealed to me. So I pretended I hated you. And I think I really did for a little while. Even tried to make Luke think that things between you and him wouldn't work out when he left for school. Not that I'm proud of that now," he finished somewhat lamely.

When Haley didn't say anything he half-expected her to tell him to pull over to let her out. Or at the very least pull her hand away from his, at this revelation. But she did neither. Simply stayed in her same position, staring at him through her big doe eyes, her lips slightly parted.

"Why are you telling me this now," she finally asked, after what seemed an eternity of silence. It was so overwhelming hearing so much from Nathan all at once. He'd never been much of a talker, but as she was coming to find out more and more, when he had something important to say he would let it all out at once, and you better listen. Nevertheless, Haley's mind was a little full with all this new information.

Nathan flicked his gaze over to her. "I just thought you should know, that there were reasons, why I was the way I was. You deserve to know the truth."

She sat still. "Would you take it back now, if you could?"

"Yes and no. If I changed what happened back then, you wouldn't have hated me, but you could also still be with Lucas or some other random guy. And I couldn't handle that. For as much----for all the shit I gave you, and as hard as I made it for us to be together. It's what I wanted Haley. You were always what I wanted."

Haley felt her eyes involuntarily well up with tears for the millionth time. But she bit them back with all her strength, bit them back until they were gone. There seemed like so much to say to Nathan, and not enough. So she settled with saying the only thing that mattered.

"I love you."

Nathan turned to her, felt her hand tightened around his again, and for the third time in the span of 24 hours, he felt like he'd done the right thing.

"I love you," he answered softly, and turned the last corner to their final destination. He stopped in the dim parking lot, shut off the engine and turned toward his girlfriend searching her eyes.

When the corners of her mouth curled into a gentle smile, he let go of her hand and hopped out of the car. He came around to the passenger side door and opened it for her, helping her out. The air between them was quiet, but calm. He wanted to ask her a thousand questions, make sure she really was ok with everything he'd said. But deep down he knew he didn't have to. Haley never did anything with anyone she didn't want to. She always said what she meant and meant what she said.

She'd said she loved him. And that was all he ever needed.

When they came around the Bronco and got sight of what was in front of them Haley cocked her head up at Nathan

"Where are we," she inquired, sidling up against him, his arm laying on top of her shoulders, protectively.

Nathan quietly guided them forward from the car toward a small lit restaurant a few yards away. It was shaped somewhat round, and was a mixture of silvers, blue, reds and whites. The front door held a sign that said :Open 24 Hours and there was a row of windows all around the building, with which you could see through to a few select people sitting in booths and at a long rap around counter. An old style milkshake machine and cigarette dispenser were located in the corner by the jukebox. As the couple came closer to the front, Haley paused and looked up at the white neon light that was illuminating their figures in the semi-dark parking lot. The sign read: Rosebud Diner Food & Spirits.

She clasped a hand to her mouth, but the smile that was etched over her face was abundant around her eyes, and Nathan could see that she was pleased.

"You hungry," he simply asked, at her awed expression.

She nodded vigorously. "Yeah." She began to move forward and stopped again, in shock.

"How did you know? I've always wanted to do this. How'd you know?"

"Well there's this girl I know. And she told me once that the good guys always remember the important things."

Baffled by the man standing in front of her, by the sheer complexity of his being and everything he did, all she could do was gaze up at him with all the love she had inside of her. "Know this girl well do you?"

"Not half as much as I'd like to," Nathan grinned, leaning down and kissing her lips with ardent passion.

Haley felt breathless and happy when the kiss ended. A feeling she never wanted to let go of, and knew with Nathan's help, that hopefully she would never have to.

"There's time," she said.

And Nathan nodded, wrapping her up in his arm again as they headed into the diner. "Yeah . . . yeah there is," he agreed, and this time he believed it.

The End.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Wow! So here we are at the end. Finally. It's been a long road getting through this story, but I cherished every moment writing it. And not only that, but I appreciated all the support and encouragement I got along the way from you fabulous people. So here's my thanks to you!

**First off** I want to thank all the readers out there who took time out of their days to sit down and read this story. I hope you were entertained and enjoyed what you read.

**Secondly** I want to thank everyone who reviewed. From the smallest comment to the longest, every single word meant the world to me. Don't thank for one second that I don't live for the feedback, it really helps me know what you the readers like and don't like. It inspires me to write more, and hopefully to continue to try to be a better writer. SO THANK YOU!

**Last but not least**, to those of you who have been with me from the very beginning. The ones who always gave their unwavering support, and friendship. The ones who read my stories from day one, and lent out a kind word to keep me going, well I thank you from the bottom of my itty bitty heart. You are rock stars baby, and I love you!!!

As this note is getting much longer than I intended I'm going to get on going. So do let me know what you thought of it all. I know I left a lot of things open at the end here, and that's because I plan on doing a **sequel** in the not to distant future. So look for that, and my new story coming out soon: **Chemical Love**.

Hugs and Big Sloppy Kisses,

Ashley


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